a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Wednesday 8 July 2009

On the fly....

06:35 Posted by Sir Scribbles 20 comments
So I was on my regular online rounds...Mailbox, football news...ebay...normal stuff. I was about to type this post when I noticed my laptop wasn't charging...apparently my baby cousin was about to stick the charger in her mouth...see me see wahala abeg...how will I explain that one to my Aunt...I can see the papers now

"BLACK IGBO BOY KILLS BABY COUSIN WHILE BIDDING ON EBAY!!!"

The UK is officially the most meteorologically cursed country on the face of the planet! Last week they said it was a heat wave, pple were on the streets in their underwear cos it was so friggin hot, I was sweating like I was selling it. This week they say it's going to be rainy, it's been raining like all the gods of Olympus just came back 4rm a binge drinking session. It's rainy right now sef....Oh and looky here...it's stopped!....are u kidding me?....the sun is out....WTF!!!! Make up ur friggin mind abeg...it's like there's some dude in space wiv a big weather console just playing wiv d switches...rain, sun, snow, rain, snow..NONSENSE!!!

You know that job I told u guyz I was writting exams for, well I wrote another one yesterday, passed it as well lol...one more to go b4 I can take my bank account off the diet I put it on. You remember the naija dude I told you about last time i went for the exam? D one who said he didn't understand how pple failed the exam cos it was so easy and eneded up failing himself? Well I met him again, we wrote the same exam....he failed again...dis time I wasn't laughing in my mind. I actually felt sorry for him. This exams costs £200, that's $321 or N52ooo...no one shud laugh about losing that kind of cash in times like dis.

After church on sunday a friend told me that some woman in church proposed something to him. She has about 4 daughters and she told him that if he ever wanted to get married she knew a nice chick who wud be perfect. I asked him if he cud get a buy one get one free offer. Don't judge me please...The woman was obvioulsy having a sale lol.

Everyday I step out of this house something bloggable happens, the other day I was ogled by a 40+ woman, b4 that I ran into a man who thot I was an illegal immigrant, today a mad man wanted to fight me...literally. I was just chilling at the bus stop...u know now...I no dey find trouble...on my own at the bus stop and I sight this mad man screaming and running down the road...he bumps into one woman...then he runs towards me...tries to push me but I side step....cos I've got mad reflexes u know...like an Igbo Tai Chi warrior u know...u know...i digress...I had a bag wiv a phone I'd just bought in it...I swear if he'd tried to push me again I'd have used that phone nd nokiaed his insane ass mehn! I was already having a bad day so mad or not you'd get served...

Did I tell you that my Uni says I have to take an english exam as a criteria for my PgD and Msc.? They say it's a new requirement for international students...I say they are mad! I've submitted multiple "thousandly" worded essays and they say I shud take an english exam. They say there's no exeption..I say they are mad! Maybe they heard me speaking pigin in the common room? I shud just give them a link to my blog and have them test that...tellin me I can't speak english...they are just mad!

I'm going away 4 d weekend, Leeds on friday till Monday...it's a chillathon where all we do is just chill. I feel guilty u know, I've got a paper due and other annoying stuff but I no go kill myself abeg...I need a weekend of pure chillin

written on the fly....


20 comments:

Lolia said...

Yayyyyyyy! I'm first :)

Lolia said...

And I was just thinking about you...Because the last time you didn't blog for two days you said no one looked for you so I was about to post a comment saying "This is me looking for you" on your last post and then you posted this *broad grin*

Lolia said...

LOL @ 'buy one, get one free' and congrats on passing your exam :)

But why did that man go and fall his own hand like that? Smh @ people like that...

Oh and 'nokiaed his ass'? Seriously though? Anyway at least you didn't have to do that...

Enjoy your four day weekend...xxx

Anonymous said...

u no technically im second.

NaijaBabe said...

Psheeeew

Anonymous said...

kk..so...take an english exam dey say?y u dey vex?just take the exam now...after all na english...u said 'nokiad'...yeah we no u nought a nokia fone..lmao.
and i love how u said u were sweating like u were selling it...he he he .

NaijaBabe said...

Anyway! Hisss!!!!
But u and these mad people. Come, let's talk about it. As in seriously. Let's figure this thing out. Do you write it on your forehead? So when I see you, I know to pick race!

English exam. I say they are foolish. They are stupid. English exam ko, foolishness! I'm very vexed. Very very.

Fabulo-la said...

Lol.

I was just about to say 2 days and we havent heard from Sir scribbles.
lol

U better take the english exam and stop complaining.
Your english could use a lil boost.
lool!
Nokiad his ass ke?
LOOL!

chayomao said...

'nokia-ed" ...mehn i am borrowing that line oh!

Miss Enigma said...

Y were u having a bad day?

Congrats o on passing the exam.

Ermm was the application not submitted in English? Abi na Ibo u tke fill am? Y da hell r they askn for anoda exam? Mscheww!!!

Yinkuslolo said...

u so fly my dear with all these interesting ish happening around u ehn.

i wrote one kind exam like that too. just do it for doing sake and add it to ur league of excellently passed exams.

i cant wait for my own chillaxcapade.
if chilling is a crime, be a criminal.(i dont think i just wrote that)

nameless said...

nokiaed his ass?? nice one.. lol!
and congrats on passing ur exam.. :-D
xx

Rene said...

lmao....I don't even know where to start commenting from....so which Nokia phone did you get?

Tinu said...

congrats on passing ur exams!!

Dame Halos said...

congrats on ace-ing your exam...donno if i can spell it thatway tho...hmm..anyway..so whats this new english requirement thing...r they having a laugh..4 days in leeds should be pretty darn awesome...leeds is gnarley!!...nightlife is great as well...try oceana if you wanna go clubbing...

P'sy-A-wana said...

u dey mad o!!!cant say as i blame the man who took u 4 an illegal lol scruffy looking ibo boy...as for ur lil cuz e gud as u no allow am chop d charger o, she no 4 evr try am again...You r lucky u passed d xam if not me, sam, and jerry 4 dey laff u for here...stay safe bruv...p.s i just mite get into the oil buisness

Adaeze said...

lol @ nokiaed his ass. You and your imagination!

hey, I think I live in a country even more meteorologically cursed than England.. count your blessings lol

tunrayo said...

lol about his almost 'nokiaed' ass and the newspaper headline...and practically everything in this post. (u have jokes youngman)

Hope you have a great weekend (with plenty blogable activities) and just write the exam for writing sake

Dark Neo said...

officially the most meteorologically..... I was beginning to wonder when my boy started reading the dictionary....then you explained you had an English exam!

Maiya said...

Haha

I know how mad you are right now...some university wanted me to take TOEFL and I`m like...you can go suck cocks in hell.

The rejected my application. Not like I give a crap.

But you are taking ot sha?