Mehn! I haven't been here in ages!! It's not my fault though, blame it on a lack of internet connection. Remember I told you guys I was moving into a new place? well I ordered broadband for the new place and the company delivered it a month after I moved in. No vex, I didn't mean to abandon you. Forgiven? I hope so. Ok I am around now so you can now proceed to tear ya cloth and chop battery lol. A lot has happened since the last time I blogged and I don't even know if I should give you guys the whole gist now or just suspend this post, write a novel and make a movie about it all tomorrow. Trust me now, in 24hrs I will write a book and make a movie cos when I put my mind to something I accomplish it lol. Ok enough jibber jabber, I came here for a reason *scratches head*...I seem to have forgotten what that reason is actually...okay read this while I try to jog my memory.
IT'S SUMMER!!! Summer is here pple and you know what that means don't you? it's the only time pple can leave their houses half-naked without me chasing after them with a straightjacket. It's the only time ladies can wear tops that start at their shoulders and end at their nipples and the only people that'll raise an eyebrow are guys who wish they could just tear the whole thing off...or girls (it's 2010 & nothing is impossible). Then again, if you have boobs that look like a linen shirt after a rugby match and your shoulders look like they need shoulders of their own to support them then the raised eyebrows will be saying "Put sum clothes on Grandma! You are 92 not 29!" You know what's even more disturbing about summer? You get to see large bellied, flabby throated, hairy bare chested men walking around unconsciously begging you to scream "Put some frigging clothes on before you scorch my eyeballs!". Do you think I'm mean? I hope not because they are the mean one's! The people who make peacefully sitting on the bus impossible, the people who sit across from you on the train and because you don't want to stare and seem rude you have to either pretend to be checking imaginary missed calls on your phone or stare at sumthing, which has no attributes whatsoever that require a stare, through a window. This is a complaint ladies and gentlemen! This is me using this post as a medium to reach out to all of mankind with one simple request: If you see anyone who even remotely matches the people I've just described I want you to walk into the closest store, buy some clothes and hand it to them saying "Take this, it's my contribution to maintaining the sanity of humanity". Make sure you say it with as much dramatic effect as possible, say it like you are Optimus Prime or even better...say it like you are me.
I now remember why I came here in the first place, asides from cleaning the blog and paying my blog-rent, I came to wish you all a Happy Summer! This is the season when parents, who God has given the means, send their kids abroad on holiday. This is the season when schools give students the longest break and also the season responsible for some students flunking the following semester cos, in summary, they cudn't get themselves out of the enjoyment mode they were in during summer! Summer is a beautiful time to meet new people, make new friends & visit new places but with the kind of heat wey dey flog us here in Jand I'd rather sit half-naked in my living room and chew ice cubes. Have yourselves a lovely summer people and if you are in Jand and you see one tall Ibo boy chasing a half-naked granny with a straightjacket at least stop and say Hi...I don't bite.