Now I know what you've come to expect in a typical post from "Sir Scribbles" but I'm hoping this will turn out a bit different, I want to change the mood a little even if it's for a just this post, I want you to delve deeper into me. I want to tell you about myself wivout the funny phrases and comical methapors...this isn't something I planned but just felt I shud do so I'd be bare myslef for you all even though I might not truly strip myslef completely...let me begin....
My ex said something to me while we were still together and it's stuck wiv me for a very long time and I'm guesing since I still remember it now it'll probably stick wiv me even longer, we'd been together unofficially for about 2yrs and one day she just said "Robert, you are not being open wiv me, I've seen the way you are in a room filled wiv pple, you're the funny guy who's everyone's friend and I've seen you in a room wiv just the two of us...I think somewhere in between those two pple I saw, when you are alone and left wiv only your thoughts as company, you are a totally different person, I think U have this facade which you use to cloak urself and stuff that bothers you...when will you drop it for me?" (She didn't say it so eloquently though...that's just me being awesome lol). I thought about it for a while, yes I kept a lot of things to myself, I didn't let a lot of personal feelings escape and I never actually share myself wiv pple, I realised that the way my mind aqnd the way I translated it into actions made pple comfortable around me, I never shared personal things and always kept my emotions bottled up, I was able to blend wiv any group of pple but I had principles that kept my feet planted firmly on the ground...it was cos of this observation 4rm my ex that I actually decided to change, I decided to open up even more but not leave a gaping hole where my wall use to be, it's normal to keep some things secret but it's even better to share your feelings wiv pple especially wen they can understand and relate to it. Why I am saying all this? it's cos I have aspirations, wants, needs and fears, I am Human even though I seem awesome lol, I speak 4rm my heart here and my head is just translating it to readable words...I have loved and felt love, I have hated and felt hate, I have fears and they seem to overshadow me but I have the will to strive and thrive, I have failed in things and learnt how to succeed, I have fallen many times , shed tears and screamed in pain only to get back up again and stagger onwards into a strut. I use to be somewhat proud and I will not lie, I was smart, comfortable and irresponsible but I realised I cud not claim to be smart and still be riddle wiv bouts of irresponsiblity and pride, I learnt this cos I was humbled, I was shown the error of my ways and I had to get with the program of lose what I called an existence in the blink of an eye.
I use to be scared of things as well, I'm scared of failing, of being average, of being used cos I love pple to much and of being taken for granted cos I commit myself heartedly. I'm scared of living on the border and nt taking my chances at personal evolution...but that was in the past, I am still scared as any human wud be but I realised that fear is what stops pple 4rm ever trying and achieving anything, fear keeps you locked up when the keys are in your hands, fear tells you to sit down when everyone else is standing...I use to be afraid of a lot of things but now the fear fuels me. I am not perfect, far 4rm it, I'd like to say I have frequent epiphanies and during this moments I attain more insight into who I am, who I need to be and what I am here for...I am here to Love, Serve, Grow and Gain!
I seriously don't know what made me post this and I'm guessing it won't be a frequent,thing cos it's a side of me that never really shows itself. I just felt I shud share myself wiv you, I felt like y'all had only seen one side of me and needed to see this as well....that's it really!
My ex said something to me while we were still together and it's stuck wiv me for a very long time and I'm guesing since I still remember it now it'll probably stick wiv me even longer, we'd been together unofficially for about 2yrs and one day she just said "Robert, you are not being open wiv me, I've seen the way you are in a room filled wiv pple, you're the funny guy who's everyone's friend and I've seen you in a room wiv just the two of us...I think somewhere in between those two pple I saw, when you are alone and left wiv only your thoughts as company, you are a totally different person, I think U have this facade which you use to cloak urself and stuff that bothers you...when will you drop it for me?" (She didn't say it so eloquently though...that's just me being awesome lol). I thought about it for a while, yes I kept a lot of things to myself, I didn't let a lot of personal feelings escape and I never actually share myself wiv pple, I realised that the way my mind aqnd the way I translated it into actions made pple comfortable around me, I never shared personal things and always kept my emotions bottled up, I was able to blend wiv any group of pple but I had principles that kept my feet planted firmly on the ground...it was cos of this observation 4rm my ex that I actually decided to change, I decided to open up even more but not leave a gaping hole where my wall use to be, it's normal to keep some things secret but it's even better to share your feelings wiv pple especially wen they can understand and relate to it. Why I am saying all this? it's cos I have aspirations, wants, needs and fears, I am Human even though I seem awesome lol, I speak 4rm my heart here and my head is just translating it to readable words...I have loved and felt love, I have hated and felt hate, I have fears and they seem to overshadow me but I have the will to strive and thrive, I have failed in things and learnt how to succeed, I have fallen many times , shed tears and screamed in pain only to get back up again and stagger onwards into a strut. I use to be somewhat proud and I will not lie, I was smart, comfortable and irresponsible but I realised I cud not claim to be smart and still be riddle wiv bouts of irresponsiblity and pride, I learnt this cos I was humbled, I was shown the error of my ways and I had to get with the program of lose what I called an existence in the blink of an eye.
I use to be scared of things as well, I'm scared of failing, of being average, of being used cos I love pple to much and of being taken for granted cos I commit myself heartedly. I'm scared of living on the border and nt taking my chances at personal evolution...but that was in the past, I am still scared as any human wud be but I realised that fear is what stops pple 4rm ever trying and achieving anything, fear keeps you locked up when the keys are in your hands, fear tells you to sit down when everyone else is standing...I use to be afraid of a lot of things but now the fear fuels me. I am not perfect, far 4rm it, I'd like to say I have frequent epiphanies and during this moments I attain more insight into who I am, who I need to be and what I am here for...I am here to Love, Serve, Grow and Gain!
I seriously don't know what made me post this and I'm guessing it won't be a frequent,thing cos it's a side of me that never really shows itself. I just felt I shud share myself wiv you, I felt like y'all had only seen one side of me and needed to see this as well....that's it really!