96hrs of Nuclear activity....

Ladies and Gentlemen His Royal Awesomeness is back!!! Do I have Gist? maybe...!! lol. I missed u guyz mehn but I had to indulge in a nuclear powered weekend else I run mad here biko! How will I describe the last four days? There's a theory that for every moment of pleasure we have someone is having an equal amount of pain somewhere else. If na so then in the last four days some poor sucker somewhere just got soaked in corrosive acid and had his fingers, toes and nipples nibbled by canivourous rats before being bathed in hot Kerosine and burnded to death with a candle...morbid shey? But u get the picture...now where do I start sef....

Friday: Landed in Leeds and the first thing I notice is that it's just a town for clubbers, everywehre you look there's a club, I swear they have them adjacent, opposite and beside each other...I wonder how pple choose which one they should go to...probably roll a dice or do eba eba lol. Walking on the street is like being stuck on a Dj's turntable...you just keep hearing different songs as you keep going...I swear I was on the street and there was this Techno song coming 4rm one club...3 steps later nd it's Akon 4rm another club, a few steps more and it's some Latino ish!...You can just stand in d middle of the street nd u'll get the same clubbin experience. The only thing more common than clubs in Leeds is Mcdonalds, the little hubs of obesity and heart disease are everywhere...you can't walk peacefully wivout being molested by their neo signs nd brightly coloured furnishing...No amount of shine-shine can hide ur aim to dominate d world by making us too fat too fight McDonalds!!!!!!!!!!

Have I told you guyz that I love Horror movies? Well I do, I love them to the point where it's more comical than horrific for me. There was a point in my life when I only read Stephen King books...my Popsy thot it was disturbing. Anyway I love Horror movies and I went to see Drag me to hell, btw this movie does not in any way or manner represent me intended afterlife holiday vacation spot. It's a hell of a horror movie, reminded me of the oldskool horror flicks like Exorcist and Poltergeist...freaky stuff but funny as well. Haven't seen a decent horror movie in ages, d last one I saw was The haunting in Conneticut and that one made me feel like sueing someone for wasting my time and taking my money as well...plus I took someone...just made it even more painful.

Saturday: Went to see Bruno, this is a short list of pple who shouldn't see this movie, The homophobic, The squeamish, The comical reserved, The conservative, Easily offended, Contentious, ill-hmuored, Sensitive, irritable...u dey grab shey? It's just a friggin hilariously evil movie lol. You know you shouldn't be laughing at this but you just can't help urself...Sacha Baron Cohen is just a nutcase. After watching it I decided to watch "Borat"...I swear I don't know which movie was more hilarious...I repeat, if you are squeamish or easily offended DON'T SEE THE MOVIE OOOOOOOO!" I walked out of the movie thinking "It just feels wrong to laugh at this...but it's was soooo damn funny!!" Do not take ur children, relations older than you or younger than you by 5 years and in some cases don't take ur significant other...dis movie is like taking Heroine knowing that it's bad 4 you but enjoying d high nonetheless.

Sunday: I think I forgot to mention that the second reason why I went to Leeds was to tidy up my friggin inconclusive Love life wiv someone. There's dis Girl u see, we are in a situation, we've been friends for a friggin long time, we like each other, we are too far apart. I went to handle my biz and I cudn't...we cudn't, Like I said we were having such a good time that discussing something as dullin' as "Let's just be friends" was just not an option. In conclusion, we decided to "Go wiv the flow" wateva dat means...sounded like a gud idea 48hrs ago..now I don't even know what it means lol. So I was wiv her throughout....let ur mind wander a bit...a bit further...no that's too far back up a bit lol.

You know ur boy cannot go thru a whole day wivout something odd happening talk less of four days. Well in the space of four days we got stopped and searched by the police, I was nearly vomitted on by a 6 year old , I heard one of my friends got kicked out of buffet cos he sat there eating 4rm 8am till around 3pm, I finally understood why I love black chicks lol, I realised why the middle finger conotes "F@ck U" (my naivety astounds me sometimes), She looked at me and...jizzed in my pants lol

Now I'm back nd it feels like I went to chill in Pluto only to come back nd find out earth is still in deep shit. I only used d internet once in four days nd I totally blocked out any source of info only to get back home nd shit was just waiting 4 me. Swine Flu is still forming gangsta disease, I have projects due, A lunatic was arrested for walking down d streets naked claiming he was a Terminator sent back 4rm d future, I have a depleted bank account, Obama went to Africa to tell us what we already know but refuse to do, i have friggin pointless english exam...d wahala plenty! Out wiv d awesome weekend nd in wiv ass-biting wahala right? lol

btw "Nuclear" nd "Awesome" are in and "Tight" and "Cool" are out...courtesy of CC...