The Morrasuckers of our Organisation...

Ladies and Gentlemen I have chosen to enlighten you once again. This time I will take you back in time, back to the foundation of our organisation's many operations. I will give you insight into the great minds that invented the cores of our methods and I hope you realise the sheer genius and stupidity behind some of these innovations. LOL...it was actually fun writing this you know, I'm going to get kicked out of the organisation very soon wiv d way I'm going.

Whoever invented this must have been one friggin conceited Morrascuker the "Make her jealous" tactic is usually employed by the immature, egotiscal members of our organisation and involves using another chick as a makeshift bling or a prop in order to make you jealous enough to ignore the fact that if you are truly worth it he wud have commited the time and effort he used to employ this tactic and just chase you the right way biko. See ehn if he can give you space, hunt for another particually insignificant woman, deceive her into thinking she's all dat and he wants her just so that he can make you jealous enough for him to free that chick and come back to begin the flirting, asking out and courting process wiv you then you have to conclude that there's a lot of resource wasting going on. All dat scheming and time wasting can just be invested in chasing the heck out of ur ass till u agree cos u were beginning to see his face in the toilet bowl wen u go to handle ur biz lol.

This one was actually invented by our Deaf and Dumb forefather because they cudn't really express how they felt to the opposite sex because of their condition. Since then it was been adopted by the healthy, correct-headed members of our organisation. The "Ignore her" is one which we guyz fall prey to all too often. Now follow me closely...The logic behind dis tactic is: You like her, You think she likes you, when you've dropped enough clues for her and you feel she's noticed then you ignore her in an effort to play hard to get...that's it! Pretty ingenious right? NOT!!!! where's d sense in dis tactic biko? Statictics show that this tactic has a 20% success rate among the women of easy virtue or cement for brains and a success rate of 0.5% wiv d intelligent independent woman and a 45% success rate wiv the heartless Man eater.(Scribbles instutuite of Stats, 2009) The stats speak for themselves, if the chick falls for you wiv dis tactic then she's either got Goldfish swimming in her skull or she's going to stick a vaccum cleaner in ur bank account and a red hot iron on ur heart and dignity.

"Luv up her friends" possibly the greatest discovery ever made by our forefathers. Legend has it that it was invented by a determined suitor who had to charm a whole class of students just to get to the Head Teacher. It's the most subtle and deadly approach and once mastered the level of resistance of the opposite sex is drastically reduced. The trick is to be nice to her as well as completely enveloping her friends in charm and niceness. Studies have shown that women in friendship cirlces always have their decison on suitors influenced by the opinion of the group and so if a suitor can get in the good books of the friends then the intended target will have no choice but to succumb or risk ridicule and castigation from the group at large (Scribbles Insititue of Women affairs and Ish, 2009). This appraoch is useful for large groups of women but relatively pointless if ur target is a loner.

Definitely, the laziest approach ever invented is the "Pick up lines" approach. It was invented by three, lazy, creatively inept coach potatoes. It took three very dull minds to invent this and you see the result of their cerebral dormancy in the way this tactic is used in the world today. Members of our organisation have tried to curb the effects of this bastardized approach by inventing new creative versions but as soon as it gets out that there's a new one the ratings go up, illegal downloads increase and every morrasucker in a club is trying it out like a complimentary T-shirt 4rm ur local Super market.

"Chase or Die" which is also called the "Pester till she Permits" technique is one which has come under criticsm in d past. This technique works for some and for others it lands them jail time. The idea is to take away a women's ability to have a moments peace and replace it wiv phone calls, emails, texts, cards and "coincidental" bumpings in. This tactic isn't advisable for the reserved and subtle but natural for the shameless morrasucker and is usually only successful if the recipient really likes you or doesn't have d police on speed dial. If she doens't like you and is a trigger happy speed dialler then your ass is going to get screamed at in public or told to pick up the soap in prison lol.