Knowingly or not we all leave marks in pple's lives, sometimes we might not really know how pple perceive us aside 4rm the gestures we are use to receiving 4rm them. I was going through the contacts on my phone and realised that for almost everyone in it I had a distinct feature I used to remember them...these are just a few
Dragon breath: This Dude's mouth stank so much that it had to be flammable, his mouth always stank...not like the early morning just out of bed stink...like it came 4rm d deepest darkest stankiest sewers of his being...dis dude's mouth use to smell at 11am in d morning...sometimes i just wanted to go down to the store nd buy him a Colgate Toothpaste and toothbrush multi-pack so he'd get the message...the kind of stink that made ur eyes water nd ur belly churn...the kind that makes u shudder wen u see dem coming...d kind dat makes u hold ur breath wen u r talking to dem...sorry...wen they are talking to you.
Olivia Twist: This chick was always asking for money, one of the most annoying pple in my life, she always wanted Ice cream or Juice or a Soda or Chewing gum...the thing about chicks like this is that the guyz she asks for money will never tell her it annoyed them oh! All my friends knew her nd she did the same thing to all of us, we'd never complain to her though, we'd give excuses not to buy her stuff and when she left we'd all say the same thing..."See dis crazy chick, she dey find Mugu shey...d girl no even get shame!" Chicks this is a warning to you all.
Barrister Bastard: Oga wey dey always argue, dis guy was the epitome of pointless, it's like all the pointless, useles things in this life were gathered together and cramed into his very useless brain I tell you. He'd argue anything I swear, Water is really juice, Sadam is still alive, Bill Gates is a wizard, Koko Mansion is educative..give him anything and he'd be ready to produce an amazingly pointless and annoying 2hr debate on the topic. He was one of those pple that made you so annoyed in an argument that you felt like taking a shotgun and ending it all...through homicide
Madam Boobsy: Mehn i will never forget this chick in my life! I have never met someone who gives very "inspirational" hugs b4. I hear chicks have hugging techniques, side hug means u r a friend, frontal means u have been missed or u r just very special, prolonged frontal means you shud be getting some lol. Well this chick always gave full frontal and you may think this is stupid but weneva I and my friends saw her coming we'd be soo psyched about hugging her...did I mention she had some very plump lumps lol...now u see why we were always receptive!
The Baby Clan: My eight brothers from eight different mothers. These are my peeps, friends who've got your back, pple who've seen you at your best and worst, they tell you as it is and we never BS, sure boyz! We are a crazy bunch yes but we r brothers as you see us so! Everyone wiv en own madness though but we tight!
Lady Think twice: My ex, chick no dey joke wiv her life at all oh! always thinking ahead, and rethinking, always planning and arranging. Nice chick, focused and hard working, took a lot of time to get to know her but she dey always talk true no matter wat! fine as hell...but now my ex!
Oga Pay-u-back: Oga Pay-U-back always borrowed money and never paid back, he wasn't even a good friend of mine oh, just some guy I happened to know and happened to always ambush me right after I visited the ATM. The annoying thing is that he never asked for large amounts, always the lil' amounts that made hassling him seem like a thotless wicked act..."Abeg I fi get 50 card" "Guy u fi give me 20 card" "Robby abeg make I get 15 card there"
Sir Shaggalot: This dude is the embodiment of everything heterosexual on this earth. If I count the number of confirmed women he has slept wiv you will pity his "lil jon". This dude is all about ruffling the sheets. Don't even think for a second that there are feelings involved cos there aren't. Legend has it that he once loved a fair maiden a long time ago and the evils of education took her away turning him into this all round shagging mahcine filled wiv lust and cartons of condoms...seriously pple...he is a maniac!!!
Open Sesame: You remember that guy I told you about that time, the one who shags anything in a skirt...if it doesn't have a scrotum if I may add! Yes the Guy I just mentioned? Well this is his female alter ego. We all know dis chick is a hoe and I think she knows we know so she doens't hide it 4rm us...dis is a chick who shares sex stories wiv guys...nd she doesn't have an anonymous blog o! She is raw, rude and very willing! In my opinion the only thing Ali Baba needs to open this cave is just a sword, Scabbard and the willingless to slice....lol
Mehn I cud go on and on you know, will probably continuing another time...I wonder how pple'd perceive me though...Robby the Awesome, Sir Spectacular, Sure boy Scribbles perhaps? lol.....coming over to your blogs in a bit I promise...I just have to run down and get something to eat 4rm Mr. Wong...they left me home alone again!!!
Dragon breath: This Dude's mouth stank so much that it had to be flammable, his mouth always stank...not like the early morning just out of bed stink...like it came 4rm d deepest darkest stankiest sewers of his being...dis dude's mouth use to smell at 11am in d morning...sometimes i just wanted to go down to the store nd buy him a Colgate Toothpaste and toothbrush multi-pack so he'd get the message...the kind of stink that made ur eyes water nd ur belly churn...the kind that makes u shudder wen u see dem coming...d kind dat makes u hold ur breath wen u r talking to dem...sorry...wen they are talking to you.
Olivia Twist: This chick was always asking for money, one of the most annoying pple in my life, she always wanted Ice cream or Juice or a Soda or Chewing gum...the thing about chicks like this is that the guyz she asks for money will never tell her it annoyed them oh! All my friends knew her nd she did the same thing to all of us, we'd never complain to her though, we'd give excuses not to buy her stuff and when she left we'd all say the same thing..."See dis crazy chick, she dey find Mugu shey...d girl no even get shame!" Chicks this is a warning to you all.
Barrister Bastard: Oga wey dey always argue, dis guy was the epitome of pointless, it's like all the pointless, useles things in this life were gathered together and cramed into his very useless brain I tell you. He'd argue anything I swear, Water is really juice, Sadam is still alive, Bill Gates is a wizard, Koko Mansion is educative..give him anything and he'd be ready to produce an amazingly pointless and annoying 2hr debate on the topic. He was one of those pple that made you so annoyed in an argument that you felt like taking a shotgun and ending it all...through homicide
Madam Boobsy: Mehn i will never forget this chick in my life! I have never met someone who gives very "inspirational" hugs b4. I hear chicks have hugging techniques, side hug means u r a friend, frontal means u have been missed or u r just very special, prolonged frontal means you shud be getting some lol. Well this chick always gave full frontal and you may think this is stupid but weneva I and my friends saw her coming we'd be soo psyched about hugging her...did I mention she had some very plump lumps lol...now u see why we were always receptive!
The Baby Clan: My eight brothers from eight different mothers. These are my peeps, friends who've got your back, pple who've seen you at your best and worst, they tell you as it is and we never BS, sure boyz! We are a crazy bunch yes but we r brothers as you see us so! Everyone wiv en own madness though but we tight!
Lady Think twice: My ex, chick no dey joke wiv her life at all oh! always thinking ahead, and rethinking, always planning and arranging. Nice chick, focused and hard working, took a lot of time to get to know her but she dey always talk true no matter wat! fine as hell...but now my ex!
Oga Pay-u-back: Oga Pay-U-back always borrowed money and never paid back, he wasn't even a good friend of mine oh, just some guy I happened to know and happened to always ambush me right after I visited the ATM. The annoying thing is that he never asked for large amounts, always the lil' amounts that made hassling him seem like a thotless wicked act..."Abeg I fi get 50 card" "Guy u fi give me 20 card" "Robby abeg make I get 15 card there"
Sir Shaggalot: This dude is the embodiment of everything heterosexual on this earth. If I count the number of confirmed women he has slept wiv you will pity his "lil jon". This dude is all about ruffling the sheets. Don't even think for a second that there are feelings involved cos there aren't. Legend has it that he once loved a fair maiden a long time ago and the evils of education took her away turning him into this all round shagging mahcine filled wiv lust and cartons of condoms...seriously pple...he is a maniac!!!
Open Sesame: You remember that guy I told you about that time, the one who shags anything in a skirt...if it doesn't have a scrotum if I may add! Yes the Guy I just mentioned? Well this is his female alter ego. We all know dis chick is a hoe and I think she knows we know so she doens't hide it 4rm us...dis is a chick who shares sex stories wiv guys...nd she doesn't have an anonymous blog o! She is raw, rude and very willing! In my opinion the only thing Ali Baba needs to open this cave is just a sword, Scabbard and the willingless to slice....lol
Mehn I cud go on and on you know, will probably continuing another time...I wonder how pple'd perceive me though...Robby the Awesome, Sir Spectacular, Sure boy Scribbles perhaps? lol.....coming over to your blogs in a bit I promise...I just have to run down and get something to eat 4rm Mr. Wong...they left me home alone again!!!
10 comments:
Now i want Chinese....
But Sir Shaggalot, i dunno whether to laugh abi na cry for the dude...lol (i have chosen)
i actually believe the number of confirmed Open sesames is increasing by the hour and i kid you not!
Nawaa...
i wonder what ur distinct feature is for person's fone? ( i am keeping my thots to myself, Sir Righteous)
is his name really Mr. Wong lol? u berra learn how to coook.
If I do the same to my contacts, I wll just laff die.
U baby clan guys, not fair oh, get free cozy hugs huh?
LOL! Open Sesame??
lmao!
I can think of a couple names for you..but Im not saying.
lol!!
lol @ Oliva twist and Barrister Basttard. I know a couple of pple like em. lol. smh
I tryh small today
fifth! fifth!! lol
lol....y u no fit cook for ur house?mad boy...i wonder wat peeps will label u as.lol
@Chayoma: Nothin beats Oriental food mehn Gba! Open sesames are actually increasing my dear..it's a pandemic...come are u callin me sanctimonious..cos I'm not oh biko
@yinkuslolo: The name of the restaurant is Mr. Wong my dear..nd he was wonged my wallet big time. The baby clan boyz were simply very lucky to knwo a chick like dat i tell you lol
@Brokeass: Eya tell me na!!! I want to know jo...infact go jo I don't want to know sef..tell me biko
@Penelope: Those pple were torments in my uni days mehn..i use to see dem and run
@G-FUNC: Guy u r sha slcaking oh
@Leggy: well I'm sure watevea name you have chosen 4 me it's lees than flatterig leggy...u need to see d good side of me young lady lol
Open Sesame....
*DEAD*
Dude u r a riot!!
LOL! I swear is times like these that I pity pple that know you ... they'll be wondering which one they are??? Nice though 4 including the Baby Clan! And Lady Think Twice? sir shagallot hilarious!
Still repping the clan till d day i die or grow up whichever comes first lol...Lady think 2ce ,sir shagalliot where do u come up wiv those names...if boobsy is who i think her hugs where out of this multiverse lol
@yinkus no be us say make u come as girl lol
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