Scribbles gone soft...

For the past few days I've been thinking of the perfect way to approach this post, I narrowed it down to two simple ways, I could either write a manuscript and then edit it before posting or simply open a blank page and free style, I chose the latter cos I felt like fresstyling wud actually help me potray my feelings honestly and give me insight to what exactly is going on wiv me...plus I cudn't find a pen! Okay so this is watz up...E don happen again! I think I'm sprung again o! I didn't even realise it till a few hours ago, There's this chick ehn.....

I don't want to give details on how we met cos it's a secret lol, I don't know her name and wasn't even sure she was real for a while but I seemed to connect wiv her on a level that I kinda forgot I cud connect wiv pple on cos I've been out of the game for a while lol. Since my last realtionship I've been kinda scared that if someone came along who'd be perfect I'd be too docile to do anything about it. Have you ever been away 4rm something so long that you start to forget how it feels or how it looks? that's what happened to me btu wiv this chick it started coming back slowly.

She was a different kind of chick, like a seperate strain. Now what you guyz shud know is that I'm not usually one who chases after flocks of women, unfortunately I'm a bit reserved when it comes to the opposite sex cos I'm either too picky or too critical, by the time my friends have gone through three girlfriends I'm stil trying to woo a potential one...it's the way I was built, to be patient and critical cos wen I fall I fall hard. So that's watz be happening in this situation, I haven't felt like this about a chick in a long while, the first time we spoke I cud swear I was speaking to myself, like the chick just understood me and we just clicked. She claimed to beautiful but I really didn't care, brain over boobs I always say and goodness me she has a brain!, my imagination had already drawn up a prototype of how she looked and she tellin me that she looked smashing was evidence that I have a very accurate imagination. I had my doubts initially, I hadn't seen this chick, all I had was a phone number and a voice, it cud be anybody, I was doubtful and excited at the same time, I doubted cos it's my nature to be cautious wiv women and I was excited cos the whole mystery woman was actually trippin me lol. Anyway I got to know her a bit more and it's been wonderful, she's the complete inner beauty package, she's smart, witty, likes the same things wiv me but not everything so it doesn't make things stale and uninteresting, she's making me write a friggin epistle on her jo! I gave her the link to my blog a while back as a simple gesture but now I realise I did it cos for some reason, in my sub-conscious I knew I'd be writting this much later and wanted her to read it, she's read my other stuff and always told me how much she liked the way I write...complimenting my writting is something I can never undrstand, the thing is wen pple tell me I write well, I have a way wiv words or I'm funny, I don't get it, sometimes wen pple leave thsese kind of comments on my posts I have to actually re-read the post and just to know if I can grab what they are talking about, I guess it's like wen u spray perfume or cologne, U can't really smell it and think it's not there but wen pple walk past you they say you smell nice. Okay so this chick loves the way I write and I love the way she expresses herself, she talks about herself and her experiences and I can relate to them, wen we talk I can feel her in the conversation, like Neo felt wen he first understood the matrix lol, it's a corny line yes I know but that's d way I feel wen I talk to her, No bullshit, no need for pick up lines, no strategies, tactics or timelines...no need for pretence, I told her I wasn't going to sweet talk her of try and flirt wiv her but what I was going to do was tell her wat was going on in my head in real time, I'd tell her as e dey do me and hope it had the right effect, I don't need to pretend wiv her, instead of constantly thinkin of funny lines and witty chatter to keep us engaged I simply flow...I'm myslef and she's herself, were natural and I love it. I thot that tellin her I liked her wud push her away, I'm a bit insecure wen it comes to my feelings cos like I said I fall hard and my very fragile ego can't handle standing out in the cold nude while everyones stares and laughs if you get wat I mean (I am soooo sounding like a chick right now lol)...but a while back I simply said screw insecurity...I told her and even though she didn't say the exact same words I was comfortable wiv her answer, I want to make her like me, it makes me feel like I connect more wiv someone if I enter into that person's life as a stranger and we grow and learn together into familiarity and compatibility. As if I hadn't been whipped enuf I got a glimpse of her, not in her entirety, just a fraction of herself, why dis girl dey do me like dis ehn?...okay so I have thing for chicks who wear glasses, didn't even remember that I had a thing for glassees till I saw her, she wears glasses...can she be anymore perfect for crying out loud lol!

Mehn I cud go on and on about this chick but I won't,, I'm attracted to her and I'm actually praying she likes me d same way, problem is we haven't met so I don't know if I shud be feeling this way, like it's against culture or something, I have a voice, a phone number and a face and you'd think I wud have set up a meet by now but circumstances are stalling my plans. I slept last night thinking of writting this post and I woke up this morning wondering why I didn't write it yesterday...I hope I did myself justice on this cos I'd be harming myself if I discover I didn't, that there were things I shud have said but didn't...I'm not even going to edit this or spell check (as if I ever do it in other posts lol). Much love to everyone who read my previous rant and commented lol...don't even think for a second that seeing me like that will become a frequent thing!