Scribblenation: Omnirandom....

*glances left and right, bends head* Privacy no dey dis house again, *raises head sharply b4 slowly returning to keyboard* everybody don dey mental now. My lil bro keeps glancing at my laptop wen I'm chatting...en wan see wetin pass en eye shey? My Aunt seems to think I have an underground girlfriend and she trying to catch my offguard by throwing random questons at me, My Mum is around now and I'm on d run inside our own house lol. Wen she's in d room i'm in d parlour and wen she's in d parlour i'm in Australia lol. Been very lazy today but I just gatz to update so make I yan u something...

Yesterday I went to see a couple of friends, I chilled wiv dem till like 8pm and wen I was leaving we all walked to the station together. On our way one of d guys asks if I like skinny jeans? I say no and can't even imagine wearing dem, his sister concurs and says skinny jeans are so gay, I object and tell her that's stereotyping, the other sister says she can just imagine me in a pair of red skinny jeans dancing to "Single ladies". The suggestion sparks my imagination and I, d crazy dude among dem, let's my imagnation get the best of me, I run infront of dem, turn to face dem and do this:
*Arms Akimbo* Oh my goodnessss your hair isss sssooo devine it'sss unbelievaable, and your bag isss sssooo sssexy I cud absolutely die. OMG! OMG!! isss dat your real hair, like ssseriosuly u r soo hot it's a sin to look at you. Wait a minute? are those my shoes? Oh no gurlfriend! Oh no you din't *Z-snap*
we all burst out laughing and in my mind I've done a killa impression of a gay guy. I turn to keep on walking and there, right infront of me is an Asian family staring at us...or rather me. The popsy simply stares at me wiv disgust, shakes his head and they all go back into their house...apparently an Asian Family in Ilford think I'm gay!

I heard 4rm a very respectable source that men who can cook are considered sexy by the opposite sex...Is dis true? As in shey na rumour or na lie? be like sey I go soon go buy cook book! Neva thot I'd see d day dat Ogbono soup got you laid!

It undeniable that the nigerian youth is in deep shit yes? Seriously ehn, how long have Uni's in naija been on strike, everytime I want to talk about this it just skips my mind. Isn't it just annoying? how can a country, after decades of independence and a feasible government in place, find it hard to keep it's universities open? You know what I think, Naija is like a 48yr old who never had potty training and since it no longer has western diapers on it keeps shitting itself. I love naija and all but wen u see d person u love effing up won't you tell dem...Naija get rid of this crap, clean urself up and get ur act together abeg! B4 B4 na studnets dey run 4rm skool oh, now na students dey find skool.

In a world where political correctness is slowly becoming a prerequisite for public and private communication, I forsee a future where simply phrases like "Pot calling kettle black" will be cited as a racial slur and "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" will be slated as the new slogan for gay rights.

Okay ehn, I don't grab why someone wud send me this, I was jejely checking my mail a few days back when I 'ran into' an email from a friend. The title said something about some "photoshoot" and some pple workng with "Zain" (A Naija telecomms company). There was an attachment so I downloaded the friggin thin, notice they are images, double click the first one and BAM! A picture of some woman jerking-off some dude...see me as I shock na!! I sharply twist laptop and bent d screen b4 pesin go talk sey Robby don dey lokk mojo 4 early mor-mor. I ran through the remaining pix and in summary it's like an immoralty upgrad 4rm Rihanna's bathroom photoshoot. I know most of you know what I'm talking about cos the story was everywhere and the two zain employees who were getting freaky abroad have more internet fame than The Royal Scribbles giving away free cartons of Virtual Mama 2000. So why pesin go send me this thing biko? As in how does it help my life? So some pple went on official duty and were shagging each other even though they were both married and decided to make a collage of it...does that is dat breaking news? shey dem feel sey I wan dey look old man and woman dey kpansh? As n I don't get the concept behind d forwarding of this email. You'd think dat nude pictures wud interest me but this was just plain unnecessary. I checked d number of people the email had been forwarded to...half the internet had to be on dat list lol....friggin hilarious! If you don't know d story of the Zain lovers memory card then google it...don't be expecting me to upload those pix abeg. I read d story and even though I think wat they did was wrong I cud have still lived wivout receiving that email.

...well looky here...5 more posts to go...Baba God we campaign for you oh!