Update addict...

I need to update my blog regularly, it's not you it's me, I'm an addict, two days wivout an update and I get the shakes and start hallucinations lol...alright enuf blabber let's yarn, I do not wish to offend but merely arouse productive thinking...

Now this may be a paragraph u don't normally see in my posts but i just had to ask you guys this. Abeg, on a scale of 1 to absolute nutcase where wud u rate pple who open their eyes while kissing and interrogate, not just talk, but interrogate while kpanshing. Okay maybe I can forgive those who open their eyes cos u neva know when ur lips might be stolen or when d person u r kissing will pull out your tongue wiv pliers but those pple wey dey ask too many question while kpanshing is just flat or insane and hilarious. "Do u like that?" "Should I do that?" "Why don't we try this?" "How was it for you?" C'MON!!!! Why don't you just take out a survey mid-kpanshing and tell him/her to fill it out for you. Oh and whoever started saying "Who's ur daddy?" first must have had some serious family issues. Why wud I want a lecture on your family tree in d middle of a kpansh. "C'mon baby tell me, who's your daddy?".."Well since you asked his name is Ezekiel H. Okoro wud you like his email address later on?"

LOL! Okay I just had to call her out, by show of hands how many of you think leggy has been seriously holding out on us....1...2...4...10...I see I'm not the only one. She tells us it's fiction but c'mon pple are we buying it? LEGGYCHUKWU this one is too much fiction to remain fiction I swear. You must come clean and tell us what other extracurricular actvities have been going on in that new apartment of yours or we will...we'll....we'll do something sha lol

I read in d news that a girl was sueing her school cos she cudn't get a job after graduating and alight bulb lit over my head. I'd just like to say that God forbid I am unemployed 6 months after graduating I will take Aunty Blessing from Primary 5 Red Social Studies, Mr. Musa from Jss 2C Maths, Dr. E from 4th year Algorthm analysis and Mr. Po Yang from PgD Computer networking for every cent they've got...I'm thinking £15k each

Skank [skangk]: an offensive term for a girl or woman who is regarded as unpleasant-looking and sexually promiscuous.
Jerk [jurk]: an offensive term for somebody who is regarded as behaving foolishly.
What do these two have in common apart from being elaborate descriptions of the kiosk girls in my high skool? Yes, they are the reigning dancesteps and their inventors have acheived something close to superstardom by simply christening erratic body movments wiv flattering names as the ones above. Therefore, it is a sagacious venture for me, who wants to be uber famous (not like Bruno), to invent a dancestep of my own. Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you "Ashawo convulse!!!" You heard it here first ooo, d dance is quite simple sef, all you need is a woman of easy virtue, a couple of sporadically flashing lights and a Doctor on speeddial. Make nobody copy my dance abeg, if I see Chris Brown Lee pullin any of my moves in public I go crase ooo! I wanna see u show some luv in d clubs nd on d streets, pple Do d Ashawo convulse mehn!! It's d new ish!!!...~~eh eh! let me see u open ur legs nd do the Ashawo convulse! Let me see u go in and out nd do d Ashawo convulse!! Stick a spoon in ur mouth nd do the Ashawo convulse!!!~~ LOL!