What if we were all straight?

So you've read the title and thot to yourself "Well Robby is going to talk about how the world wud be a better place if we were all heterosexuals" right?...Well no! Ha! Take ur Homophobic fantasies and huddle up with the Republicans and Conservatives cos my frontyard isn't big enuf to accomodate a mob of protesting gay pple. Imagine how easy this life wud be if we were all honest, imagine how much wahala wud be avoided by simply being straight with each other. Imagine a world were all of mankind was forced to be straight with each other,

Politics wud be so much easier cos instead of lying to us throughout the campaign period candidates wud just bluntly tell us what their real agenda is "If you elect me to be your president I can assure and reassure you that I will suck this country dry and while you have no electricity to power ur house for at least 2hrs a week and proper healthcare is absolutely inaccessible to the average citizen I will use the embezzled money to build an empire of illegitimate children, irresponsible legitimate children and truckloads of expenisve traditionall outfits which may make me look ordinary but are really expenisve enough to cover up all d potholes in Lagos and Kaduna."
If we were all striaght with each other North Korea cud simply come out and tell us "Look here, we've heard wat South Korea and Japan have been saying bout us and just cos we don't have as many restaurants abroad like d chinese doesn't mean y'all can run ur mouth infront of the UN so we are investing in nuclear weapons in a bid to take over the world and destroy every single chinese restaurant our nuclear warheads can locate as well as Japanese Sushi bars and the whole of North Korea simply for fun d of it.

In a completely straight world Osama wud probably have to confess that the reason why he hates America so much is cos wen he was a sophmore in an american Uni. he got kicked out of the school volleyball team cos he kept trippin on his beard.

Relationships wud be sooo much easier wudn't they? A man wud walk up to you at the train station and instead of complimenting ur skirt wat he'd really say was "My my! I wud really like to grab that, may i grope u on d train as we proceed to our various destinations?". Instead of changing her walk from a simple stroll to a strut everytime she walks past ur desk that very suggestive female colleague wud simply send u a memo detailing how ur nicely fitted shirt and tailored pants make certain aspects of ur masculinity hard to resist and working late tonight would be more productive for both of you than the company.

In a completely straight world, there wud be no anonymous bloggers wud they? I don't think so, Anonymous blogging wud be a crime and we'd all have to turn our blogs into mini-facebook profiles...then again in a straight world some bloggers wud have no need for blogging cos they'd be able to say what they wanted to say, to who they wanted to say it to, about whatever they felt like saying and this wud mean that in a straight world the Police would be looking for a tall Igbo dude who is wanted for attacking Barney the Dinosaur and the Teletubbies in addition to an attempted bombing of Sesame street.