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My mum came over for a few weeks on business, A few minutes ago she asked me a very seriously important dire life threatening question..."My friend was telling me about something a few days back, wat is dis face...faceboy abi facebook??" I froze, holy crap is she asking me about facebook? Oh Bloody hell!!! dis woman is more connected that satellite TV, I few months back a friend asked me if I was ever going to quit facebook and I said I would quit FB the day my parents sent me a friend request....I think it's time for me to start packing my bags lol. I was still silent and she asked me again, "What is Facebook?" Should I lie, coz I know my mum will want to join if I tell her wat FB was, or shud I just tell the truth cos lying to her doesn't always work out the way I plan it to, I decide to give a mid-point answer. "Well it's a website where pple just chat and talk to each other especially if they haven't seen each other for a while", "are you registered on it?" she asked, "ME? I am but not fully, I don't go there much just a quick pop in and I'm out" (That's going into my top 10 lies). "Okay oh, I've just been hearing it everywhere nad was curious...wat pple are doing wiv computers now is just beyond me". She better not carry out any more enquiries cos if I venture see a facebook request from her, or my dad..or two of them collaborating on one profile...dats the end of my social netwroking career!

One night I was browsing through Job agency websites looking for part-time work, I had filled about 5 forms and I was totally exhausted and sleepy, Then I ran into this job vacancy and I felt I was just perfect for the job, the instructions said applicants shud send an email to the organisation and they listed the email address. In my worn-out state I still sent the emaill that night and slept feeling very optimistic about my chances. A week passed and I hadn't heard from them cos they said they'd be in contact through email. I was feeling very worried and I decided to review the email I sent them...this is what I wrote word for word, verbatim!!!!

"Hi there,
My name issss Robby Scribbles and Ia'm enqurin abuuut d vacancy n your organiassssation as adertissedddd fffff on the Job agency website../// I am qualified for this job and consider myselfd as worthy candidate for considerationPlease find attahced my CV an dover letter which detail my qualifciations nd skiills elaborately. Loking forwad 2 hearing from nd working with you soon. ]]Thank you
#Robby Scribbles"

I didn't know whether to laugh or just slap myself in the face, na wetin sleep dey cos be dis? N owonder I never hear 4rm dem since..they think I'm a retard...dis looks like a cryptic message from a Muppet to a Tellytubby. I didn't know wheteher to send another email or just pray that whoever read is doen't have agood command of english language, I read this message like 10 times and still cudn't believe I wrote it...note to self: Never apply for a job when sleepy!

I've always wondered how pple who get high feel, not like a practicalising curiosity, more like a curiousity curiosity lol. pple who smoke weed always fancsinate me so imagine how I felt wen I got the chance to obeserve one in action. A friend of mine called me and begged me to come to his room ASAP. AS I entered the room I knew something was wrong he was just laying on the floor pointing at the ceiling, I came close to him ande his eyes were reeedd!!!

"Robby abeg you gatz help me, I suppose reach Library sign one class paper and I need pesin wey go help me cos as you can see I am not alright"

"Spraykus U don dey mad, so U don smoke that thing again u maga! Shey I don dey warn u make u stop dis thing...Omo I no know if I fi' go library now ooo!!"

"Guy dis one no be request, if u no help me and staff member catch me 4 road like dis na house i dey go straight...Guy if to say I fi go by myself I no 4 call you but right now I no fi' vouch 4 myself sey I go reach library come back wivout incident"

"Why be sey na me you call guy, of all the friends wey u get 4 dis skool u had to ask me to do this, U know whether I dey do something important, wat if I no show sef wetin 4 happen, u wud have just be sitting here pointing at the ceiling shey?"

"Guy I call u cos u be my guy and I sure sey u go lead me in the right path" he asnwered wiv a lil' snigger "Guy u go like help ur guy please, If I no sign that thing my own don be 4 dis skool lol)

"OOOOO I no like dis thing o! Oya stand up make we dey go jo! But I swear if u misbehave 4 road, grab woman nyash or spit ontop pesin I go leave u run!!

We make it to the library wivout incident and then we find out that there's a seminar being held and we have to wait for about 30mins beforre he can go in and sign wateva it is he wants to sign! Oga starts to philosophize on me oh! A man steps off the podium and another speaker replaces him...Spraykus turns to me and says "You know dats the way life is, one pesin has to step down b4 another pesin steps up"...I almost explode wiv laughter, I hold myself seriously cos Oga don dey kolo 4 my front. The Seminar concludes and he signs the stuff. Then we head back to the Hostel, as we're walking I'm gisting wiv my guy and he's laughing ridiculously, anything I say makes him burst into laughter, even wen I just ask a question he starts to laugh loudly! By the time we get to the Hostel Oga is gone, his just silent now wiv half open eyes. I decide to chill in his room and then we are watching a movie on his laptop, the film starts to skip and freeze and I ask him wat's wrong wiv his laptop...LMAO...

"Guy na the breeze wey dey blow outside dey enter the lappy make am hook!" I'm literally rolling on the floor laughing my ass off!!! I told him I'd be telling this story for years to come and it's been two years and I'm still kicking lol

You see the way this life is...my hommie, the guy I introduced blogging to is biting the hand that fed him lol. Apparently P'sy-A-wana , my former friend lol, has threatened to write an exposé on Sir Scribbles...I go kill pesin o! I don't take kindly to threats oooo! lol Oga if you write anything wey fall my hand u'd better start sleeping wiv ur eyes open!