I've started four differnt post on four different issues and all of them have ended up as drafts because of this one. I was watching a show on TV and it just inspired me to post this, I wasn't intellectually stirred by the conversation I heard that led to this post...it was more of an emotional inclination...
I doubt there's a perfect formula for relationships, infact I don't doubt I know! I know that there's no way you can consider all the variables in relationships be it casual or otherwise. Surprisingly, stereotyping and sexism, as socially deregatory as they are sometimes, are integral parts of relationships depending on how u view it but so are equality and mutualism. An attempt to hypothesise ideas on how to have a perfect relationship is futile in my opinion cos pple will always comment and contribute based on their own experiences and whether the ideas are applicable in recurring scenarios or the the propositions unbiased pple will always say what they know. What they know is what they've seen and even though some pple claim it; no one has seen everything. The thing about human beings is that we are dynamic and proposing a set of rules or guidelines to govern relationships and associations between us as a socially active specie is a daunting task and will probably never be fully accomplished due to so many factors and primarily our dynamic nature. It's good to have rules and guidelines at times because they help shed light on situations and point us in the right direction but to trust solely in a code of conduct for relationships and how to handle other people is risky. In my opinion we've got the underlying basics in any relationship ranging 4rm acquintace to spouse, understanding, communication and trust are all important and can rarely, if not never, be substituted. On the other hand, when propagated protocols and insubstantial status quos are embeded into the sanctity of relationships I cannot help the gnawing feeling that as time goes by the beauty of relationships, spontaneous and exhilarating as they should be, will be remodelled into this mechanical entity lacking creativity and improvement and as a whole will have been desecrated.
Normal service resumes on Monday lol
I doubt there's a perfect formula for relationships, infact I don't doubt I know! I know that there's no way you can consider all the variables in relationships be it casual or otherwise. Surprisingly, stereotyping and sexism, as socially deregatory as they are sometimes, are integral parts of relationships depending on how u view it but so are equality and mutualism. An attempt to hypothesise ideas on how to have a perfect relationship is futile in my opinion cos pple will always comment and contribute based on their own experiences and whether the ideas are applicable in recurring scenarios or the the propositions unbiased pple will always say what they know. What they know is what they've seen and even though some pple claim it; no one has seen everything. The thing about human beings is that we are dynamic and proposing a set of rules or guidelines to govern relationships and associations between us as a socially active specie is a daunting task and will probably never be fully accomplished due to so many factors and primarily our dynamic nature. It's good to have rules and guidelines at times because they help shed light on situations and point us in the right direction but to trust solely in a code of conduct for relationships and how to handle other people is risky. In my opinion we've got the underlying basics in any relationship ranging 4rm acquintace to spouse, understanding, communication and trust are all important and can rarely, if not never, be substituted. On the other hand, when propagated protocols and insubstantial status quos are embeded into the sanctity of relationships I cannot help the gnawing feeling that as time goes by the beauty of relationships, spontaneous and exhilarating as they should be, will be remodelled into this mechanical entity lacking creativity and improvement and as a whole will have been desecrated.
Normal service resumes on Monday lol
19 comments:
first!!!!
i'm good....i'm good...*singing and dancing* lol lemme go n read now
true...there aint no perfect formula...basically because we are all unique.
gosh! I hate those people that act like they've seen all of life.
@Rene(obviously, who is is there?) lol: I can accept the ocassional rules but sometimes it just makes everything feel mechanical
how she take do am?
I just left this page seconds ago
anyways I go manage second
Yup! I agree with Rene. It's annoying when people act like 'Oh I'm very sure about this and that cuz this and that happened to me' Ok yes we know you've experienced quite a lot and most times whatever happened to you is possibly what's happening to us. But not all the time so please free us!
Also all those rules that say things like oh don't call him at all or wait for him to do this don't work o! Most of the good relationships I know work out because both parties are straight with each other! Shikenan! LOL
he he he...thinking f getting into one?
lol leggy am sure he is
what show were u watching sir scribbles?
relationships
2 different people in the same thing
obviously its supposed to work out in different ways based on these 2 peoples ways
but people have created these invisible n unwritten rules about dating and relationships that the whole thing has become one little drama where we hold our script and say our lines
we shud be us
what was gud 4 u will probably mess up my relationship
and vice versa
ok, so this is a short paper. i will be back to read
true true..
all those "i've been there, done that " peeps...listen up!
Someone gonna blow your head out of the water....
i totally agree..
just too many variables....
Lol @ yinkus refering to ur post as "a short paper". Scribbs plenty of grammar o, very unlike u...lol.
Wat works for one relationship myt not work for another, bcos as humans we all respond/react differently to issues and situations.
U're right, trying to perfect a relationship is a futile mission, bcos jst like we r not perfect there is nothing lyk a perfect relationship...jst two people making the best of the moment one step at a time.
Very good points..
There is no formula, talkless of perfect... just take it one step at a time and go with the flow..
i don't belive in rules. i think a relationship should be whatever you make into, not what the norm is.
@G-FUNC: lol...guy where ur comment na..abi d second position vex u lol
@Lady X: If you know how i hate those rules ehn!! So one person had a bad experience and now that person is ruining it for the rest of us...I break status quos
@Leggy: Nne I've have read ur comment like ten times nd don't know wat u r talking about...seriously I don't lol
@sweetness: I didn't get the name of the show, it was just one guy interviewing a married couple and a singlle guy...the single guy was just talking so much crap I wanted to fling the remote control at him
@Yinkuslolo: wat do u mean sef...dat I type too much, what of leggy..no call my name oh!
@Chayoma: tell dem oh! D fact sey u suffer no mean sey me go suffer too...the whole guideline thing just vexes me
@BBB: Variables galore if you ask me, I wonder what someone had to go through if they think they can write a book on relationships and feel they've covered all the bases
@Undercover07:my points exactly, now all we have to do it find the pple who make this crazy rules and guidelines to perfect relationships and break bottle on their heads lol. U sef wat do u mean unlike me...so I no sabi speak english shey...no worries 1-0 oh!
@BSNC: Exactly, anyone wiv a perfect formula will just end up disappointed cos we are too unpredictable for theories and hypothesis
@Peaches: New face!!!! Okay So i'm Sir Scribbles and I rock lol...my dear screw rules oh! I've had to much success wiv going wiv d flow that rules are just not worth it in d end
"supu oyibo anwa ka igurube nada!!!!!"
people with formulas and checklists set themselves up for diappiontments. People aim for this perfect ideal knock you off your feet knight in shining armour kind of love in relationships that they close themselves off to other options. Am not saying let go of your standards, but some of them are so darn far fetched and generic that it sucks the uniqueness out of the experience. As much as people claim to be different, alot of them end up wanting the same things....how could that be?
i think a healthy doze of realism is in order, some people just aspire to have relationships that just ain't them....it is like girls who claim they only prefer bad boiz and then turn around and wonder why they have relationship problems or why the guy is cheating on them....u essesntially get what you put in.
relationship is hardwork, it is not effortless. u need to work on it and develop it and nuture it. if you are not willing to put in the work or time, dont act suprised when it goes bust.
what!!!!!!!!!...y u just dey philosophize is dat a word i hope so
gademit! I have to read that 3 more times to understand what you r talking about.
lool
SPOT ON!!
At the risk of commenting and sounding daft, cos though I understood the post, I just cant remember.
But can I pls hire you for my magazine? Please
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