Revelations of little insanities part 4

Mehn una no even look 4 me oh! Your boy Scribbles has been AWOL for 48hours+ nd una no organise search party, what if I was kidnapped ehn? Una no go even halla...Una fall my hand!!! lol

Yeah baby! Summer is around the corner..abi e don land sef me no know sef wiv dis friggin country. Your boy is officially rocking the shorts this season, I'm only wearing shorts nd T-shirts cos wen winter come like dis all man go hold en coat nd sweater lol. Commuters like myself are having an eyeful I tell you, the young and lovely ladies of london are rocking the bum shorts and boob tubes making things even hotter wiv dis scorcher of a weather...am I complaining? Hell No!! So where's the insanity u ask?....it's in the minds of the 40+ 50+ and 60+ women who have decided to mess up a young man's day. There's nothin more irritating than a chunk of 40+ Cellulite sticking out of a Bum short, or the war torn boobs of a 50+ attempting to relive it's glory days as a plump lump! I was just standing on my own at the bus stop oh, dey jam "MC Hammer" on my ipod wen I see dis 50+ Mama coming 4rm yonder, I just felt molested by this woman, like she entered my head nd screwed wiv my brain, it was just wrong I tell you. She wore one of those light fabric tops...wivout a bra...see as dis woman retired nips' dey point out like sey na antenna wey dey try catch FM radio. I felt like taking off my shirt nd giving it to her so she'd stop embarrasing all of us...c'mon there're lil kids here u know! Then another Mama passed by, she had to be 47 at the least and this one was even worse, it was so obvious that it took her more than a few minutes to fit into those shorts, it looked like she was suffocating her butt, you cud see nyashidue spilling out of the top of the shorts... and she was now strutting all over the place showing everyone how slutty an old woman can look. I just think it's wrong 4 Mamas to dress like hookers on the streets. It's aiight to show skin I'm not complaining, but when the ratio of skin to dignity is 10:1 I suggest u just stay indoors....read a book or something, hell u can read it naked for all I care...just keep the explicitness under ur roof.

I've noticed that Airplanes can't seem to land on runways anymore? it's like they take one look at a runway and immediately decide to crash into someones house. You'll be having breakfast in the morning and then you look out the window and see a tail wing sticking out of ur neighbours attic. It's a morbid aftermath yes, but it seems like Camel travel is even safer than air travel these days. On top of that, the whole of London is friggin paranoid! If you live in the UK, especially London, you'll notice that pple don't talk to each other on d street except it's someone you know. You'll be on the high street nd see multitudes of pple simply walking past each other like zombies. Do u blame them? No! Cos in my book, if ur on the street and I don't know you then you are a potential serial killer. I swear some pple stop me for directions and I make a fist behind my back just in case the Shit hits the fan! If you step on someone you have to apologise withing 5 seconds or risked a peforated torso. If you are thinking of cutting in line at a store then you shud also be thinking of whether you prefer cremation or open casket. A pastor in the states told his congregation to start bringing guns to church, some say it's sacrilege, I say it's self preservation...it's no longer a congregation if all the members are dead now is it? Kidnapping is a business in Naija now cos some pple have decided that seizing you like an illegal import nd demanding absurd amounts of money in exchange for your freedom is an entrepreneural gold mine. What in blazes is happening abeg....Man can not turn on d TV nd hear gud news ehn! Wahala here nd Wahala there...Me sef don tire I swear...I don tire 4 all dis madness!!!