A day in the life of the Scribbler.

This is a true story but the names have be changed and some details omitted

Now I'm not usually this Ill-lucked but today just seemed to be one of those days where every mishap I'd considered and avoided throughout the month staged a coup to wreck one day for me.

I woke up with a headache, how does one wake up with a headache? after a few minutes I decided not to take medication...it was too early for that! "It's raining today, how nice" I thought sarcastically. So I did my morning exercise which involved a run down the stairs to the Loo, then a power-walk to the kitchen, a push up to wrap up the kitchen bin and then a short jog outside to toss the bin bag in the rubbish bin. Apart from the headache my day proceeded as usual

"Robert!!!!" my Friend yelled

"Wetin be that?" I answered

"Guy u go help me do something today o!"

"Wetin be dat?" I asked walking back into the house and heading for the sitting room.

"Shey u dey comot today, U fi' branch Tesco pick up some stuff for me?"

"When dis one start wey u go dey send me message guy? How much u go pay me?" I asked jokingly bt with a stern look on my face.

"Behave urself jo! I go give you my bus pass nothing do you, U fi' waka go anywhere today but abeg just help me collect my stuff for Tesco"

"Okay no worries" I said

The rest of the morning went as usual, the rain had stopped and by 2pm I headed down to Tesco. At Tesco I walked up to customer service and told them I had a package I wanted to pick up and handed them the reference number my friend gave to me earlier.

"Okay that's alright" the man at the counter said "I'll just need proof of Identity and proof of address. A passport, drivers licence of bank statement would be just fine"

"Oh!" I said "I haven't got my passport or any of the other stuff you just mentioned on me at the moment, would a student ID card be alright"

"Well has it got your name and address on it"

"No" I replied, "Just my name "let me get it for you"

I put my hand in my back pocket reaching for my wallet, pulled it out and rummaged through Bank cards and call card. I found the ID card and handed it to him.

"Sorry sir this won't be enough evidence for me to hand the package over to you, U see the delivery tag has an address on it and a phone number and if you don't have any proof on you matching this address I'm sorry I won't be able to give it to you"

"oh! that's alright" I replied "I come back some other time to pick it up then"

"Sorry Sir, today is the deadline for collection, if you don't collect it before the store closes at 7pm it'll be returned to the depot and your money refunded...and it's 5:25 already"

I was already getting cranky, "Na help I kon help pesin oh!" I though to myself. I pulled out my phone and scrolled though my contacts to find my friend's number. I dialled him and lifted the phone to my ear....

"I'm sorry, You do not have enough credit to make this call"

I was tempted to swear! I turned back to the man and pulled the most pathetic of beg faces you've ever seen. I'd used this on Lecturers to get term paper extension, bus drivers to get one stop hops and most of all my parents to get cash. The man stared ta me and said "You know what I'll give it to you this time but next time you have to show ID and proof of address you hear?, I need your phone number though, just in case someone comes around asking for this package then the store can contact you" I nodded in acknowledgement, scribbled my phone number on the sheet he gave me, picked up the package and left towards the closest bus stop.

On my way to the bus stop my phone rang. I pulled it from my pocket and the caller ID read "Call 1". I answered it and the voice on the other end was familiar.

"Ah Mr. Robert it's Ted from Tesco's customer service"

"Oh! Hi Ted, wats up?" I replied

"Uh! I was wondering did u have a buss pass on you when you came into the shop?"

Till this moment i can't understand why I said No.

"Well you see we found a buss pass on the floor a moment ago and I was just wondering if it belonged to you but since you say you didn't have on one you then no problem...."

"No! no! no! no!" I screamed, "sorry I did, it's blue and has got a one week free pass on it"

"But sir you just said you didn't have on one you"

"Yes I know, the pass is not mine, it's for a friend, he lent it to me so I could get around today, can I come pick it up?"

"I'm sorry sir but I'm afraid I can't give it to you, the only way I can help you is to call the transport office report it. If your friend calls them later and quotes the pass' number then he can claim it"

"Oh my God" I exclaimed "I'm coming back to the store"

On my way back to Tesco it started raining and by the time I'd gotten to the store I was drenched, panting and vexed. I pulled the pity face again but Oga was having none of it. He said he couldn't give the pass to me because there was no way he could prove it belonged to me or my friend. He then asked for my friend's name, I told him and he called the transport office again.After giving them my friend's name he nodded a few times with an occasional "Uh hun" he dropped the receiver and told me the office had checked their system and said the card was not registered to that name.

"What a day" I said "Okay u know what, I'll just get my friend to come over and pick it up" I was tired so I walk and annoyed so I just got on the next bus home.

On the way home I started to thought about stuff that might also just go wrong today and were in my power to avoid or be prepared for. I thought about my house keys and remembered putting them in my pocket, I thought about the stuff I picked up from Tesco and the carrier bag was in my hand, I thought of other things and concluded that I had no worries.

Front of my house and I'm frantically searching my pockets for the keys, I felt coins, receipts even gum but no keys but I remember putting them in my pocket....or was that when I went to throw out the bin...Oh! my God it wasn't when I'd left the house to Tesco that I took the keys but when I went out to empty the bin! I was tempted to swear, only one option was left as I stood outside in the rain....I had to meet the Turkish guy.

The Turkish guy owned a shop near our house and the backdoor of his store could give me access to our front door (I'm not saying how and why). The only problem was the Turkish guy is always pissed, I swear I've never seen that guy smile, always boning. I walked into his store with my bags and dripping wet. He muttered some things in his language and I knew ha had just Yabbed me!...I pulled the pity face again and asked him to open the door for me...surprisingly he did without hesitating...as I walked past him through the door I heard him say a few more words in his language....That's why I'm going to google the translation of the "N word" in Turkish. It had been a horrid day yes but the climax of it all happened when I told my friend about his buss pass and he started yelling about me being careless....I was so pissed that I threw his package at him and headed to my room. On my way up I asked him what was in the package that had put me through all the crap I'd faced today....he smiled and said "It's soap, You know I have sensitive skin?"....I was tempted to swear....and I did!!!