a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Monday, 17 August 2009

My mama supposed kill me...

03:26 Posted by Sir Scribbles 44 comments
Mehn I have a lot of catching up to do, when I was glued to my laptop una no dey update blog o! But wen Sir Scribbles steps out for just three days everyone comes out to update. Well I have opened all your blogs in seperate windows here and even if it takes the whole day I will read dem all...just need to get a can of redbull first. Anyway, I just had a couple or my usual random flashbacks and realised that I don do my Mama strong tin many times. My Popsy hasn't even experienced half d crap I've put my Mum through sef. These are just a couple of the incidents I have had wiv my mum:

Mumsy was coming over to London on business and three days after arrving she'd be off to Italy and a week after that she'd have to be in Istanbul. Trips like this aren't new to me and I know my repsonsibilities when she needs to make them. I'm supposed to meet her at the Airport wen she flies in from Naija, meet her at the airport again wen she flies back into London from Italy, and finally follow her to the airport on her way back to Naija from London. Now you'd expect that after a while I'd have familiarised myself wiv d flight times and known when I shud leave d house to meet her at the airport so she doesn't have to wait for me right? Well this time I didn't and wen she arrived in London 4rm naija she ended up waiting at the airport for me for 2 hours, then wen she flew back in 4rm Italy I was late again...dis time she waited 3 hrs. LOL! you shud have heard d phonecall on those two occassions, as in she was mental and raping so many things In Igbo that I actually think there's an Igbo phrase for "this is fucking irresponsible".

On another occasion she came to visit us and my younger sister had gone to work leaving me at home alone. Mumsy called and said she was five minutes away so I arranged the sitting room and did all smal small arrangements to make the place look presentable at least. I stood by the window in the sitting room staring outside and wen I saw the car slowly making it's way up to our house I walked out to greet my lovely mother. As she emerged from the car I stepped out of the house with my arms aloft and as we hugged and exchanged greetings, the love permeating both of us, the front door slowly shut itself wiv a softly audible and sabotaging 'click'. Mumsy looked over my shoulder at the door then back at me and asked, wiv a smile on her face, "Do you have the key?", No reponse "OMG! You don't have d key?", my silence was enough acknowlegdement. Love vanished, smiles faded and all was replaced wiv piercing maternal glares, insensate igbo-worded castigation, a snickering cab driver and a very a awesome looking anambara boy jumping in through the sitting room window.

Finally, and most recently I was booking a flight for her online (come to think of it all these incidents are coonecetd to air travel in some way...pattern?), anyway I was booking a flight for her and because I'm used to fillnig out forms and application online wiv my name I ended up using her card to book a flight for her to Italy wiv me as the passenger instead of her. I realised this mistake 3 seconds after confirming payment for 'MR ROBERT's' ticket and I gave a short yelp, she asked what the problem was, I said my charger shocked me lol. I immdiately went to cancel the flight hoping that since it has just booked a few seconds ago I cud still change it but it's at times like dis that I hate technology. They cancelled the flight alright and I booked another one feeling like a problem solver only for her to check her balance online and see dat the airline had charged her twice for the same ticket lol. She asked me what happended...I lied, she was absolutely livid and then called the airline. They told her the first deduction was for the ticket of a "Mr Robert Scribbles" but it had been cancelled and the fee was non-refundable, they told her to read their terms and conditions but they had lost her at "Mr. Robert"...her attention and anger had now switched from the Airline to said owner of cancelled ticket.


44 comments:

Naija bad boi.... said...

fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrssssssssssssssttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yaaaaaay!!!
ok ...make i go read naw...

Naija bad boi.... said...

lmao...@ Igbo phrase for "this is fucking irresponsible".

lool@ "after confirming payment for 'MR ROBERT's' ticket and I gave a short yelp, she asked what the problem was, I said my charger shocked me lol."
its gud to have u bck meeehn..never a dull moment...can count on u to make my day...

meanwhile ...u going for d c.u reunion?
me am comin mid sept..gonna miss iot..:(...

Naija bad boi.... said...

ahn ahn...and still first again....after reading ....y'all are sleeping meeeehn...

ps. scribbles, am not stalking ur blog ooo

Naija bad boi.... said...

and am not spamming it either....hehehe

GiDiPwInCeSs said...

im never first!!! its not even funny anymore...i think my laptop realises my desperation cuz i saw 0comments before and wen i refreshed d page i see 4 !!!
u are a very naughty boy and need to be spanked!! ur poor mum....mayb she secretly enjoys d wahala sometimes.. u never kno...lol

Anonymous said...

Lol, I guess that's what makes mothers special, they have incredibly high BS threshold, but you sef, @nbb, u is a stalker if i eva saw one. I'm a new blogger and I'm inviting u guys to read my stuff. Thanks. P.s: Scribbles, I know sumone who is ready to do battle wiv u over meagan.

Anonymous said...

Lol, I guess that's what makes mothers special, they have incredibly high BS threshold, but you sef, @nbb, u is a stalker if i eva saw one. I'm a new blogger and I'm inviting u guys to read my stuff. Thanks. P.s: Scribbles, I know sumone who is ready to do battle wiv u over meagan.

cutee said...

@ NBB:nawa 4 u o!!u juz spammin dis blog...lol
Chei! scribbles u wan kill ur mama abi??lol

Yinkuslolo said...

like u shuda just told ur mistake...who know u may have mistakenly gone on the trip with her.

my momma wud be more pissed that she is losing the money for nada

Sumptuous said...

My bad. My comment came as anonymous earlier (still tryin 2 get a hang on these things)

Naija bad boi.... said...

sumptuous...i was just about to yab u now dat we shuld check ur anonym ous wat ehn? ..ok...am checking u out now shsa sha...u can stop by mines...

@cutie...am not spammin naw....ahn ahn....

Naija bad boi.... said...

and cutee...u dont av a blog????
oh shoot...am spammin again....am not commenting on ds post again...never!!! ahn ahn

Sir Scribbles II said...

@NBB: You go fear boys na, NBB na u de yreply commenst for my blog now shey? nothin do you dat one sef dey lol. Nice on oh we go see for september but which reunion be dis and where is it going down

@Gidipwincess: lol @ "u are a very naughty boy and need to be spanked!!"
the ambiguity of that statement is hilarious

@Yinkuslolo: you know na, my mumsy was double pissed, one for me lying and two for her vanished money

@sumptuous: You are very welcome nd make sure u reach dis endz on d regular o! coming over to urs now

Bubbles said...

OH SIGH
SCRIBBLES.!
lol
you are such a silly boy.!
the last example was the best
if I was your mum, I would have smacked you in the face
dodo boy lol
we missed you small sha

TaioFierce Ameen said...

Chei!!!, if na my mama ehn, u own go don be since u left her in airport for 2 hours... u ite not live long enuff 4 dem to charge her double, she ll show u she stl got her ijebu side....lol
lol@ igbo for "this is fucking irresponsible"...

LusciousRon said...

You and your mum! I woulda asked you to refund me immediately!

chayoma said...

She suppose kill you!
How cld u? chai. ur mama don suffer. u wan kill her?
this her pikin wey no fit concentrate.
Mehn, this was a good laugh!
Can count on u to get my day started off right :)

Rene said...

lol @ the whole. I concur all these were because of flight.
My mum wouldn't have spoken to me for like forever if i delayed picking her up
nbb, y are you spammin? and I was about to write the same that we should check out wat blog when you post comment as anonymous.
cutee too should get a blog

Robby: lol @ ur rply to GP's comment.

Tigeress said...

omd this is too funy i actually bursted out laughing! Nice one!

miz.lola said...

hmm I thot i was the only one..still have to make that trip from anywhere I am to heathrow every single time for my mom but if I'm not around she 'somehow' finds her way..moms eh..love them tho

leggy said...

id kill u for the last one!!why didnt you call them first?they said nonrefundable not non transferable..scribbles!!nwa m noo london aga school!

Ms. 'dufa said...

Lol. D last 1 was undoubtedly d most annoying. With sons like u, motherhood just got harder.

Tay-mee said...

Chei!! She suppose murder you sef. That last one ehn, see waste of money. Scribbs I'm vexing for you on behalf of your mum oh..ahn ahn lol

P'sy-A-wana said...

dude u r crazy ur mom shuldnt just kill u but chase u 2 wherever u end up lol...u dey feel sharp go confirm wrong yicket rotflmao...welcome back

CultureCynic said...

25th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BSNC said...

hahaha i just had a good laff, Your mum loves you too muc to kill you.

You worry sha..lol

Dame Halos said...

what?! ..i trust my mum with her yoruba slap...she will have given me atleast one or two on these several occasions...ur mum is very cool tempered sha lol..but you too...ahn ahn..u didn't even try scribbles..how can u leave her waiting for hrs....
i'd like to know how to say "this is fucking irresponsible" in igbo though..i think biko is the only igbo word i know...it would be nice to broaden my igbo vocabulary...lol get bak to me with that will u..:-)
Moni

Mcrazy said...

..Your quite naught..!!

LOL@ "after confirming payment for 'MR ROBERT's' ticket and I gave a short yelp, she asked what the problem was, I said my charger shocked me..

cant believe you said that...too jokes!!

Gee said...

aawwww thats soo cute to find out u r igbo...Lol, dunno y i ever thot u were yoruba!
lol

David Numba-one God'sfave said...

LWKMD!!!

Crazy child...hehehe!!!

But your mom does luv you though...it's that obvious...

Chai, i just dey wonder, what if na ur papa you do all this to?

I know you wouldn't even try it once...why does iit always happen to mums...LOL, i love my mama...she too try!!!

Suru said...

haha that last one was terrible in fact they all were.. your mama should have made you pay for the ticket and you won't make that mistake again lol don't blame technology why didn't you read the terms and conditions lol i sound like your mother

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

LWKMD...@ Igbo phrase for "this is fucking irresponsible.

Abeg no give the poor woman hypertension oh!

Sir Scribbles II said...

@bubbles: you only missed me small? my friend stop forming...dodo babe!

@Taio: As in sometimes i dey pity d woman cos it's obvious she wants to kill me but love won't let her

@LusciousRon: dat one is even worse cos it'lll still come out of her pocket...kniwingly or unknowningly

@chayoma: the woman do try shey? as in me sef i know i'm a handful lol. Thanks for the compliment

@Rene: Lol. oh u sef feel d ambiguity in that sentence...naughty naughty!!

@Tigress: Thanks dear, appreciate it lol

@Miz.lola: AS in that journey is just 2hrs of pure annoyance and vexing..I love here but i hate it

@Leggy: lol u r tellin me this now, after she nearly cut off my head u r saying this now...although it does makes sense but why u kon dey yab me now leggychukwu?

@Ms.Dufa: AAAAAAh see insult oh, as in dat one enter my bone marrow...i'm a gud boy u know

@Tay-mee: why are u making it sound like i killed someone, what if i had left the ticket like dat then on d day of the trip I went to turkey instead of her...dat one no worse pass

@P'sy: dude where u don dey since, u just dey form disappear and appear

@CC:yes u are!

@Moni: who? which mama? mine? cool tempered? ahh u no sabi nathin mehn! na becos sey i be old man now...a few years back and it's d been like mortal kombat

@Mcrazy: I know shey, had to stick that in a prayer point in chirch cos the lie was too bad lol

@David: the woman too love me yes i know, only love cud have kept her away 4rm the rifle wen i misbehaved...cos i dey misbehave on d regular

@Gee: Anambara boi representing, Igbo boy in d house!

@Suru: u do sound like her....*raises eyebrow*

@The girl wiv d red hair: the woman has tried i swear, she is too much

'sola said...

LOL @ Your charger shocked you, that's a first! funny how u always find ur irresponsible self when dealing with mothers.For me, it's a jinx.
Nice blog,currently going thru your old posts.

Sir Scribbles II said...

@BSNC: no vex na...simple scrolling mistake...yeah mu mum loves me...sometimes i doubt it though lol

BSNC said...

lol i don vex finish. you have been fined, you need to send me one cow and one agric fowl...

gwynne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
gwynne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
gwynne said...

hey,u r not to big for the cane you know bt i feel u.read your post from the beginning to the end,o boy,i love your mum.reminds me of my mum,aka,scorpion,yeah we call her that at her bk.love your blog though.

Sir Scribbles II said...

@BSNC: No vex na! shey i don talk sorry...e ma binu, ndo..sorry ahn ahn

@gwynne: the woman is too much yes but when she vex everybody gatz take cover. Thanks for stopping by

Splash said...

as my mum'll say "bring out my special belt!" tan your butt for sure.

"this is fucking irresponsible"
LMBAO. thi stakes the cake for igbo language. lol

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