a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Sunday, 23 August 2009

Scribblenation: Omnirandom....

12:20 Posted by Sir Scribbles 40 comments
*glances left and right, bends head* Privacy no dey dis house again, *raises head sharply b4 slowly returning to keyboard* everybody don dey mental now. My lil bro keeps glancing at my laptop wen I'm chatting...en wan see wetin pass en eye shey? My Aunt seems to think I have an underground girlfriend and she trying to catch my offguard by throwing random questons at me, My Mum is around now and I'm on d run inside our own house lol. Wen she's in d room i'm in d parlour and wen she's in d parlour i'm in Australia lol. Been very lazy today but I just gatz to update so make I yan u something...

Yesterday I went to see a couple of friends, I chilled wiv dem till like 8pm and wen I was leaving we all walked to the station together. On our way one of d guys asks if I like skinny jeans? I say no and can't even imagine wearing dem, his sister concurs and says skinny jeans are so gay, I object and tell her that's stereotyping, the other sister says she can just imagine me in a pair of red skinny jeans dancing to "Single ladies". The suggestion sparks my imagination and I, d crazy dude among dem, let's my imagnation get the best of me, I run infront of dem, turn to face dem and do this:
*Arms Akimbo* Oh my goodnessss your hair isss sssooo devine it'sss unbelievaable, and your bag isss sssooo sssexy I cud absolutely die. OMG! OMG!! isss dat your real hair, like ssseriosuly u r soo hot it's a sin to look at you. Wait a minute? are those my shoes? Oh no gurlfriend! Oh no you din't *Z-snap*
we all burst out laughing and in my mind I've done a killa impression of a gay guy. I turn to keep on walking and there, right infront of me is an Asian family staring at us...or rather me. The popsy simply stares at me wiv disgust, shakes his head and they all go back into their house...apparently an Asian Family in Ilford think I'm gay!

I heard 4rm a very respectable source that men who can cook are considered sexy by the opposite sex...Is dis true? As in shey na rumour or na lie? be like sey I go soon go buy cook book! Neva thot I'd see d day dat Ogbono soup got you laid!

It undeniable that the nigerian youth is in deep shit yes? Seriously ehn, how long have Uni's in naija been on strike, everytime I want to talk about this it just skips my mind. Isn't it just annoying? how can a country, after decades of independence and a feasible government in place, find it hard to keep it's universities open? You know what I think, Naija is like a 48yr old who never had potty training and since it no longer has western diapers on it keeps shitting itself. I love naija and all but wen u see d person u love effing up won't you tell dem...Naija get rid of this crap, clean urself up and get ur act together abeg! B4 B4 na studnets dey run 4rm skool oh, now na students dey find skool.

In a world where political correctness is slowly becoming a prerequisite for public and private communication, I forsee a future where simply phrases like
"Pot calling kettle black" will be cited as a racial slur and "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" will be slated as the new slogan for gay rights.

Okay ehn, I don't grab why someone wud send me this, I was jejely checking my mail a few days back when I 'ran into' an email from a friend. The title said something about some "photoshoot" and some pple workng with "Zain" (A Naija telecomms company). There was an attachment so I downloaded the friggin thin, notice they are images, double click the first one and BAM! A picture of some woman jerking-off some dude...see me as I shock na!! I sharply twist laptop and bent d screen b4 pesin go talk sey Robby don dey lokk mojo 4 early mor-mor. I ran through the remaining pix and in summary it's like an immoralty upgrad 4rm Rihanna's bathroom photoshoot. I know most of you know what I'm talking about cos the story was everywhere and the two zain employees who were getting freaky abroad have more internet fame than The Royal Scribbles giving away free cartons of Virtual Mama 2000. So why pesin go send me this thing biko? As in how does it help my life? So some pple went on official duty and were shagging each other even though they were both married and decided to make a collage of it...does that is dat breaking news? shey dem feel sey I wan dey look old man and woman dey kpansh? As n I don't get the concept behind d forwarding of this email. You'd think dat nude pictures wud interest me but this was just plain unnecessary. I checked d number of people the email had been forwarded to...half the internet had to be on dat list lol....friggin hilarious! If you don't know d story of the Zain lovers memory card then google it...don't be expecting me to upload those pix abeg. I read d story and even though I think wat they did was wrong I cud have still lived wivout receiving that email.

...well looky here...5 more posts to go...Baba God we campaign for you oh!





40 comments:

Neo said...

First!!!!

Neo said...

yay! I cant blive it! ok goin to read the post and will be back with a proper comment! I'm first i'm first i'm first (doin the Rush Hour move) yay!!!

Neo said...

Okay i'm back again! Btw i deserve some kinda prize for being first o! nad yes i think a dude that cooks is absolutely deeVine!!! But not all those Ogboneo sturves oh. leave that one to me. I mean more like English breakfast in bed.

As for naija Uni's all i can say is that i thank God i'm out. I compare Nigeria to slutty woman, leave everything hanging out and not give a damn and one day u get used to all the stares. We've all just become complacent taking things as they are. Nobody expects different.

lastly the Zain scandal thing was just freaky, adultery happens evryday, jus bcos those two were daft to get caught doesnt mean we shd have to see their unsexy naked bodies. i thot the thing had died down by now and im surprised at all the attention it got.

Rene said...

hiss @ Neo, was meant to be first joh
I'll glady take second sha!

SECOND!!!

Rene said...

d Zain scandal.......gross!
lol @ wen she's in d parlour i'm in Australia
I can imagine you doing the gay act.....lol
I deem it sexy if my man can cook

Nice Anon said...

A man that can cook is very sexy! The zain chic isn't ugly at all. Just doing what people do on the regular just that hers got slashed on the net. Except the bit where the guy is married ofcourse.

chayoma said...

Haa, a man that can cook is a plus in my books oh!
Picture early morning me waking up to the smell of pancakes or plantain and scrambled eggs in the morning, to find him wearing only but...Oya out of my fantasy abeg! It is for my mind alone.lol
As for the naija uni issue, i pray that there be a revival! it is a sad situation.
On the Zain issue, y n heaven's name does scandal make big noise eh? As if the idiot who reported didnt have something something going on.
Mscheewww...

Ms. 'dufa said...

Lol@your gay impersonation. You've either been watching too much T.V or you've been around lots of gay ppl.
The ASUU strike is just annoying and the state of our education system is pitiful. The strike is not even receiving that much media attention again.

A guy that can cook and actually likes cooking,is very very sexy!

Saw one guy at work lookin at those pictures and I thought it was mojo and I had already crucified him in my head.I heard they lost their jobs. Yeah, the wide-spread forwarding of the pictures was totally uncalled for.

Bubbles said...

LOL
your gay impersonation was SO stereotypical.! Not all gay guys talk like that but still it was funny.!

Skinny jeans are hella sexy. I say this because my brother wears them and he isn't gay.
Maybe you can't pull it off... LOL I'm joking my love :)

or maybe it's because *Jay-z's voice" Can't wear Skinny Jeans cuz...... hehe

Dude the Zain shenanigans is old news.! I was very disgusted by the pictures. *gag* people don't have shame anymore really.

UnderCover07 said...

Oh yes cooking can and will get u laid...it is a highly appreciated gesture and a turn on....lol...so start catching up on Food and Nutrition classes u missed in high sch.

Yeah dt Zain scandal was jst a stupid decision on their prt, sucks for them and family members.

cutee said...

Robby i hav bin waitin 4 u 2 update so i cnbe 1st bt it was wen i left u did shey u no wnt mk i be 1st again??lol
Lmao at d gay act...nd 9ja uni,its so bad i feel sry 4 dem.
As 4 d zain tin i didnt see it nd i dnt tink iwud wnt 2 see sef.lol

Lady X said...

LMAO!!!!

OMG!! Are you serious they caught you? Busted!!!!! Totally!

A man that can cook is sexy. A man that can cook and bake?? Please give me his number.

I wish your brother had chosen the exact time you chose to open those pictures to glance at your laptop. This would've been an entirely different post!!!

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Neo: yes u r firts my dear...watch ur back sha cos some pple be after u now! I dey really pity students 4 naija now oh and the zain thing was just overexaggerated

@Rene: The Asian man will just be dissing me in his house now lol. I must learn how to cook pronto

@Nice Anon: You are officially my top chick in addition to buttercup cos we are UNITED! The Zain ish was just too excessive jo and now i must learn how to cook oh!

@chayoma:the zain issue is just friggin excessive nd even though it's wrong it's not fair nd so is d uni thing. omo ur imagination is motivation mehn

@Ms. dufa: lol u see, now u thot d dude was looking at mojo wen he was just a victim or email forwarding. The gay thing was just jokes abeg oooo, na joke i dey joke oooo!!

@Bubbles: ahn ahn bubbles it was just for jokes now..u know we don't hate now! LOL! ...cos my ballz don't fit shey? maybe? lol.

@undercover07: omo i am seriously motivated no woh, man must cook!
Yeah their families must be devasted

@cutee: eyaa! ain't dat nice of u, sorry oh but if u want to beef someone u shud beef Neo oh!

@

Sir Scribbles II said...

@ladyX: O boi, I'm of to cooking class mehn, nd baking calss as well, after a month i will send my number. If my bro been catch me ehn na snitching straight

kay9 said...

lol! Abeg wetin be "indepencadence"??

Yes o, the zain thingy is everywhere; folks in my company even have a name for it: Zain-jolly.

Mehn, its so funny, it isn't funny any more. I mean, just about everybody plays an away-game once inawhile, so why's theirs different?? Why are people acting like the two unlucky love-chickens are the only persons that ever committed adultery?? Y'all should see the way people gather to look at the naked two-some, clicking and re-clicking on their naked photos. They should all navigate to some crazy porn-site abeg, cos they must be enjoying looking nude people. Msshewww!

Gee said...

lol @ using pink to type the gay act to ur frends....dat means r u one of the boiz dat think Pink is gay too?lol..u know im always on ur case.lol

Dark Neo said...

Omo Thank God I sabi cook oh! I go start to chip that piece of info in my conversations with chicks Chai!!! Anyways you lucky sey no be me catch you they do your "Act".

iphyigbogurl said...

I agree..men that can cook are very very very (to infinity and beyond) sexy!!!
lol@ ogbono soup getting someone laid....best believe my brother!

i saw those zain pics...eeeya for them..i think dey got dismissed from work.

only God will help naija..... evrything don spoil ..like for real for real....
nice read.

TaioFierce Ameen said...

lwkmd, ur posts always make me laff
lol@Gay guy imitation... I can jst imagine d Asian family...
dont mind d 9ja government oh....l8r u ll hear dt some1 throwing a big party...lol
Dt zain thing i s o disgusting, i wish I neva saw it....
PS: Beta learn to cook if u cant ok, its probably +50 in most girls grading system(ref 2 Dark Neo)...lol

TaioFierce Ameen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
BSNC said...

hahah i can imagine you doing the gay impression..

yes please go learn how to school and come and give your testimony.

David Numba-one God'sfave said...

LOL!!! crazy..thank God i hav been delivered from that mentality, half way...

come get ur own deliverance too...lol!

GaGa said...

lol....running around in yuur own house,im an expert in dat
....
...guys dat can cook,are highly sexy
....
...the zain scandal was forwarded to me twice...lol..gross

miss.fab said...

Lol at your gay impersonation. You actually did that on the street??? Wow hahaha!

That whole strike business is really getting out of hand for real. I just cannot understand why the government does not care! Are they so inhuman that they think nothing of gambling with people's lives and money? Smh men. May God deliver Naija o

rayo said...

u r sooo gay! lol. sori abt d assault on ur eyes.

Neo said...

@ Kay9 lmao at Zain Jolly!

@ Cutee dont beef me o, my first time being first here! Dont mind Scribbles, he really waited for u to get offline!

Dame Halos said...

lol..@ ur impressioon of a gay guy..i've been tryna picture it in my head...hmmm..a bunch of my friends hung out in ilford till about 8pm....emmm...do i know u scribblies??..lol i am gonna dig deeper
@ the mail with someone jerking off thats just gross..i keep gettig forwrded messages like that on my bb as well ..its actually becoming very annoying....
as for naija uni's...i swear its only prayer and fasting that can deliver us...i keep thanking God for maing me one of the fortunate one's who can afford to school abroad cos honestly its not easy...i have a cousin who's 30 now..nd he's bin in uni since i was ust entering secondary school...and we graduated this yr together..lol..i know part of it is his own unseriousness but the excessive strikes also played a part in it...ahn..ahn..we should defo thank God for the opportunity he has given us sha...
and about cooking..errr..i have an uncle from delta who makes the best ogbono soup ever..and believe me...ladies think its sexy....

P'sy-A-wana said...

it must av been sam dat sent the pix...so girls like guys who cook i suppose dey kitchen 4rm now on..."dark neo no be kettle and spag or indo mie o!!

Myne Whitman said...

Now I have to wonder what you look like. Probably skinny. LOL. And yes oo, cooking will get you some girls. No mind our Gov and ASUU jo, elephant dey fight, grass dey suffer. E go better.

asweetcakes said...

Yup. if u can cook, you're damn sexy.

Interesting blog u got here

faB!! said...

I won't judge those Zain people cos things happen and not in the way one would usually expect.
But ooh...well, I seriously don't understand the need of mass forwarding the email. If people want to looks at nude photos, they can get some online. People really need to stop forwarding that ish.

Nigeria really needs to get their acts together cos its really disappointing ppl who still believe in it. Sad!!

Ebony~!* said...

EWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! dnt be messing around acting gay abeg! Plus i feel you on no privacy, my house is a direct example, from the security to mumsy herself, al want to know what you are up to!

gwynne said...

HOPE YOUR LAPTOP HAS A PASSWORD,DATS D BEST THING TO DO AND D COOKING I LOVE GUYZ DAT CAN COOK, AND COOKNG IS AN ADDED ADVANTAGE FOR THE GUYS.
AS FOR THE ZAIN SCANDAL,EVEN GIRLFRIENDS DAT CHEAT DONT TAKE PICTURES NOT TO TALK OF THE MARRIED ONES,THEY R BOTH BIG F@#LS.AND THE WOMAN SHOULD GET A CLIPPER(NO OFFENCE TO ANYONE).

gwynne said...

AS FOR THE UNI STUFF, SORRY TO THE PEOPLE ITS AFFECTING THANK GOD AM NOT AFFECTED.

Devine said...

lol....mehn,good soup on one of those days, mein....lol
yea, huys who can cook have extra extra points!
n unfortunately i saw the zain pictures as well, my poor eyes, it was distasteful, spit spit
ha ha @ the gay impersonation!
the strike thing is just dumb, after now, wen these jobless ppl, start rioting they wud say the Nigerian youth are out of hand

CultureCynic said...

foolishboy....that is exactly what u deserve from Mrs I....u will not find peace o ...nonsense with all the bad luck u have caused me since yesterday..i overslept and got to work real late, the leggings i bought were the same size so i had to go alll the way back to the shop only to find out they ran out EVRYWHERE, ..i hop she accidently pours hot oil on that your cocroach head. Shebi my heels will break in three places as i walking to the mall....the otumpokpo has being reversed.....urs is coming just wait!!!!!

David Numba-one God'sfave said...

@ culturecynic...ROTFLMFBAO!!!!

Robby wetin you do am? Start to dey make automatic self defence devices because e be like say them go hammer you soon...LOL!!!

leggy said...

i love guys who cook oh.
i dont know why when i want to comment ill forget all the mental notes i made.

Buttercup said...

No privacy in my house either..mschew. Lol @ the impersonation..hehehe. The strike is a totally sad situation..may God help our country mehn..

bonnie said...

yes a man that can cook is tres romantic and sexy.