We started planning this party like a month ago, my uncle is a confirmed party monger and he wanted it to be massive. By friday the 6th the house was filled with crates and cartons of drinks, trays and coolers of food and we'd managed to re-arrange the whole house to give peeps enough space to display their kolo. As usual the league of extraordinary Uncle's was invited and the plan was to have the kids party at 6pm in a rented hall, end it by 7pm so the adults would have time to get to the house for the house party at 8pm. Trust Naija peeps now, invitation said party starts at 8pm shey? 8:45 the house was still empty, 9pm only one person had shown up. 9:15pm the house was full, some stereotypes just can't be disproved lol. 9:30pm peeps were just chilling, feeling the athmosphere, mostly sober and having lucid conversations. I had 3 cameras on me, a bit too much u say? You'd think it was because of some cliched motive like wanting to capture the memorable moments on the occasion right? Well you'd be partially right if you thought so but my other reason was absolute mischief hehehehe! U think sey I go dull b4? My Uncles were all going to be under the same roof, there'd be loud music and enough drinks and food to humble the strongest of men, wacky and hilarious things wud happen, I was certain of it and wanted to be the first on the scene, cameras flashing and laughing my ass off. Trust my uncles naw, they didn't disappoint!
It was the usual house party athmosphere, music, chatter, slurping and munching. At about 11pm all the people who had stuff to do the next day like church or work started leaving and by 12am my Uncles began to display. Now the funny thing about all this is the fact that they were all tipsy but if you didn't know them you wouldn't have guessed it. I'll just give you a quick run through of some of the things that happened. My Uncles started a dance competition between themselves but there was no skanking, jerking or breakdancing oh, it was confirmed Igbo steps mehn. At a point one of dem took off his jacket and lay flat on d floor while another danced around him. Since I was fuly equipped for the situation there was no shortage of camera flashes and that led to one Uncle dubbing me paparazzi for the night. That same Uncle asked me why I wasn't drinking anything, another Uncle told him I don't drink, he looked confused and asked me to reaffirm, I told him I really didn't drink and that's when they he decided to finish me! Apparently a few months back he'd seen me hugging a girl at the train station but he had never said anything...until tonight. "See dis man oh, u talk sey u no dey drink but I see you 4 ilford 2 months back with one girl like dat. Una just dey hug like sey una wan swallow urselves. I dey fear you oh Scribbles! I think sey u be holy-holy b4 but afta dat day I start to dey salute you!" My mouth fell open, another Uncle turned and asked if it was true, I didn't answer, all the others rounded on me and by the time they were done teasing and joshing me I was so red in the face that if I stood on the street cars would stop in front of me. But u trust me now, I had my revenge a few hours later.
4am, the only people left in the house were my uncles, my baby cousins were in bed, mumsy and my little sister were crashing and I was already nodding off in the siting room. I'd already exhasted two 2GB memory cards but the 3rd would hold the most satisying information of the day beacause in addition to containing videos of my uncles dancing and hollering like sey dem dey mad, I caught one of my uncle's, the one who started teasing me, trying to smuggle the last bottle of courvoisier into his car. I swear it was hilarious and what heightened the hilarity was the fact that it was caught on camera. I would have let him take the bottle because we're all family but the man refused to pay for my silence. Abeg no judge me joh, the man even owes me £30 for fixing his laptop and he's been dodging me ever since I gave it back to him. I knew I should have taken a deposit first. Anyway I told him to pay only £10 for my silence if he wanted to leave with the courvoisier but he was being stubborn and even played the "we are family" card. Omo I no gree oh, the bottle is in the kitchen now and it's not my fault, uncle was just being cheap abeg because technically I was telling him to pay 10 quid for a bottle of courvoisier. I'm still going to collect my 30 quid from him, maybe I'll use the picture to threaten him.
Everything that happened could never match up to what happened the following day. We'd been cleaning the house for a while and I decided to take a break. I sat in the living room watching TV, my baby cousin was crawling towards me, stopped half-way, gripped the edge of a table and started walking fo the first time. I was ecstatic! I screamed for eveyone to come see and everybody came to the living room. I stood her up, took a few steps back and she walked towards me again. My aunt screamed, my mum screamed, my sister screamed, my uncle was fronting but I knew he wanted to scream. The reason why we were all excited was simply because the pikin no wan walk before. we'd been trying to get her to walk but she just like crawling. I was so happy because it broght back memories. The last baby that walked infront of me for the first time was my lil brother and even after he's begged me to stop telling the story I still can't get the image out of my head. My baby cousin can only walk in a straight line though and when she walks it's like an impersonation onf Klint the drunk but she can sha move without being on all fours. Before that day I was scared that in a decade I'd have a 10yr old cousin who still crawled lol.
In summary it was a wonderful weekend and only reached an anticlimax today when we found out london bus drivers were on strike. Thank goodness I'm not going anywhere today, my sister was livid because she had to take a cab to school and will probably take one back home too. Mumsy leaves on tuesday so at least I'll have my privacy back even if it's just for a month. Peace, love and prosperity to y'all. We go jam l8r.