a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

The Crazy, The Broke & the downright Worwor

15:55 Posted by Sir Scribbles 23 comments
as usual... spell checking is for weaklings...

You know what baffles me? When people don't cut their cloth according to their cloth. I read something a young lady wrote and it went something like this: "I want an independent, handsome, tall, rich man to come and sweep me off my feet. I'm not easy to please so he has his work cut out for him", Naturally I became curious and I decided to check out the author of the statement. You go fear now! I checked the babe out and shock seize me! My people I say shock seize me for throat! I don't want to offend anyone but if the next few sentence rub you the wrong way then na ur fault cos nobody force u 2 read blog. If the babe snags a rich, tall, independent, handsome man then the universe is doing partiality for Jennifer Aniston.

Sometimes you'll hear a woman say "I don't want a man who's too possessive and won't give me space to just be myself, have friends and be independent". Yet the same seemingly normal babes will turn out to be crazyass chicks who do autopsies on laptops and Blackberries just to find that which Facebook profiles you've had the audacity to look up. Have you ever seen a crazy chick in action b4? SHET! It's not a pretty sight. You know what's worse than crazyass chicks? Worwor chicks! Now Thats definitely not a pretty sight. You know what's worse than a Worwor chick? A Worwor chick who calls other people ugly. That, my people, is a new version of insanity where a person is afflicted with the killer 3hit combo of Worwor, self-deceit & the audacity to still open mouth and yarn nonsense. Situations and people like this should be a warning to all mankind that the end is definitely nigh and even if it is, their continued existence is only hastening Armageddons plans

Baffling it is, wen u hear a brokeass woman say she wants a rich man who can afford to buy them all the things they desire. Brokeass chick oh! The kind that has to hustle cab fair to go and visit the potential buyer of all the things she desires. The kind that walks around with an empty purse like a subliminal message to other prospective mugus to come, explore, spend & jonz. I'm talking about the big bad babes who'd rather leech off other people than organise what's left of their self-respect and make something of themselves. In the Hierarchy of Respect, we have The Independent Womam at the top and somewhere in the middle is the Humble Lady who's content with what she has. Then, at the bottom, after Crazyass hypocritical chicks and judgmental Worworass chicks, you'll find Brokeass chicks. Brokeass chicks who don't respect themselves embody the essence of humanities basic problem.......craze!

.......*wipes sweat* Now think happy thoghts

Hoe: A non-agricultural approach

08:56 Posted by Sir Scribbles 11 comments
The following post may rub some of you the wrong way. As usual, spell-checking is for weaklings...

You may have come across the term "Hoe" at some point in your life. You may have heard it in a conversation, used it yourself to "compliment" someone or maybe even had the "honour" of being addressed as one before. Whichever way, it's undeniable that "Hoe" is a part of everyday life. Today, I simply wish to enlighten those who may be mystified by The Hoe. If you already grasp the concept of then this will simply supplement your knowledge. Either way, learning never stops. Today, we learn about The Hoe. Let's Begin

The origin of the Hoe, like the reason behind Kim Kardashian's fame, is shrouded in mystery. Some say it dates back as far as early 17th century while others say it may even be as old as Sean Connery himself (which is pretty dam old by the way. We may not be able to trace the origin of The Hoe but we can confidently say that like its track record with men/women, it's been around. What or Who is a Hoe then? "A Hoe is a gardening tool used for digging the earth". If you wanna get technical then you can also say "A Hoe is a man or woman who's been with more guys/girls than WAEC". A Hoe is a Slut. An Ashewo. A man-hoe. A pers0n who's decided that come rain or shine, everytime is shagging time (Choc City sign me up!). A hoe will hop on a penis or VJJ faster than you can say 'Osondi Owendi' backwards and if you are wondering if a hoe has self-respect or self-control, the answer is no! These things are foreign to a hoe; for Shame, a hoe has not. The concept of "The Hoe" basically revolves around the nuts of a man or the orifice of a woman. Now that we've elaborated on the concept of The Hoe. Let's move on....

Terms of Use
"Hoe" is usually used to describe a woman who's attained a well above average record in humping anything with 2 & a half legs or sliding into anything regularly willing enough to have bending over as a hobby. It should only be used to identify a woman who deserves the accolade simply because she's turned the space between her legs into a tool free parking zone. For a man to be a Hoe, he must have turned his penis into a VJJ tollgate (Figuratively ofcourse). So, Is "Hoe" an insult? Well that depends on the mentality of the man or woman. Some people strive towards Hoedom and if such a person is called a hoe, it's mission accomplished. Nowadays, Hoe is being used as a salutation, a compliment even. It's common to see girls addressing each other as hoes without ill intent or desire to insult. It's rare to see guys use it on each other outside the usual banter and joke-filled scenarios but it's still considered a misuse of the term. Like drugs, black magic & Soulja Boy, Hoe is a bad thing. It's not a compliment, nor is it praise. Give honour to whom honour is due and Hoedom to who Hoedom deserves.

Evolution & Conclusion
The Evolution of a Hoe is a concept not many researchers have bothered to investigate. It simply focuses on what a Hoe was, is, and will be. The evolution of a Hoe can be determined simply from the woma's track record. For example, that primary school classmate of yours who loved doing "Show me yours and I'll show you mine" during Break time, will probably be the same girl in Secondary school who discovers how many different ways a candle can "light up" her world. She'll probably also be the same one in Uni who's VJJ has more attendants than the library the day before vacation. A habit turns into a character and a character builds a lifestlye. In the end, Hoedom becomes a lifestyle and like Homoerectus became Homosapien, Hoe-trainee becomes Hoe-Director. Same thing for guys, a pervert can be a man-hoe but a man-hoe is not always a pervert. Man-hoes will usually try to conceal their dealings in order not to scare away propestive prey with a bad reputation. However, like fart in crowded elevator, a man-hoe's bad reputation will still spread. The Hoe has not evolved much over the years though, what has evolved are the instruments of Hoedom, a subject which will be discussed in a later post. In conclusion, Hoedom shares a symbiotic relationship with mankind and for as long as we have dick or VJJ (and some have both), Hoes will always exist to offer patronage.