a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Sunday, 9 August 2009

C/O Angel Gabe

12:19 Posted by Sir Scribbles 35 comments
Sir Robby Scribbles II
Obodo Oyibo
09 August 2009

Dear Baba God,

I would like to thank you for providing all the amenities necessary for me, Chalene, 18, and Colly ,15, to live comfortably and proudly in this Godforsken, recession stricken, subtly rascist, meteorically cursed country. I appreciate your consistent and, most of all, free-of-charge, blessings to us and as the first-born child of the Scribbles household I will always maitain the standard that you desire and they, my two siblings, must emulate. However, I write this letter with a heavy heart because as at 6am this morning I realised that your two children are mental...as in dem two don kolo! Consequently, the sole purpose of this letter is to inform you that very soon me sef go kolo pass dem!!

As at 10pm on the 8th of August 2009 I had declared that we all must attend sunday service the following day because it had been almost 4 weeks since we had been to church. I told these two maniacs that we'd have to be awake by 6am and I was going to set the alarm to ring at 5:55am. I told them to go and sleep oooo! I warned them that I didn't want to hear any story wen I woke dem up for church the following day, did they listen? No! Both of dem went to bed around 2am and when I woke them up the following mornining I was greeted wiv mummurs, moans and grumbles. I sent Chalene to the bathroom first cos it takes much more time for her to get dressed than me and Colly combined. She grabbed her towel and left the room. 5 Mins later I decided to go downstairs and get something to eat and as I approached the staircase, there, crounced on in the middle of the stairwell was Chalene...sleeping! She was crashing on d staircase wen I thought she was taking a shower. I nearly kick am for back I swear! I screamed at her and she woke up startled and annoyed , grabbed her towel again and walked off to the bathroom.

Chalene was now out and had started her 2 hour makeup process, I told Colly get into the shower, he grabbed his towel, like Chalene and headed off to the bathroom. As I sat in theliving room flicking through channels I felt the need to use the loo. I stood up, walked to the toilet, opened the door and there was Colly crashing on the friggin toilet bowl wiv his towel over his head. It was both amusing and annoying, I woke him up wiv a lil smack on d head and screamed at him to get into the shower cos we were already running late. He glared at me and slowly made his way to the bathroom banging the door behind him...the only act of insolence he could exhibit.

Do you know we finally didn't go to church today? In addition to your daughter sleeping on d staircase and your son crashing on d toilet bowl you daughter took almost 30min extra in addition to her usual 2hrs to get dressed, your son took half an hour to locate an Mp3 player filled wiv songs that go against wateva we were going to hear in church and by the time we got to the bus stop it made no chronological sense to go to church again cos from our calculations there were only 30 mins of service left. Baba God these are your children and my siblings I know, but Baba God u won't blame me if next sunday I carry cold water keep for room, once alarm blow like dis all man must arrange demself jump inside bathroom if not na military treatment dem two go receive. I know we haven't seen you in almost a month but I swear today I was in d mood but na dis two crase pikin spoil everything. By ur grace and my bucket of water we go jam next week.

Your sincerly,
Sir Robby Scribbles II



ps: 10 post from now I will be celebrating a century of blogging and to mark this wonderful milestone I, like my good sister Leggychukwu, will also like to ask all readers to send in questions they'd like me to answer. I doubt y'all can ask anything that'd fluster me so be creative, somewhat unrestricted and family-friendly if possible. I want y'all to be unhindered so if you like you can email them to me at "sirscribbles@rocketmail.com". In addition to this thing I will make an announcement in my hundredth post the likes of which blogsville has never seen before....GUARATEED!!

35 comments:

Bubbles said...

FIRST.!!!!
):):)

Quaggar said...

Hmm.. where all your blog stalkers at... leggy n co? Anyways, SECOND!!!

lol @ ur letter to Baba God.. he doesnt usually like excuses o!

And congrats bro, 100 posts no be yam and beans!!!! Keep it up.

Bubbles said...

LMAO.!!!!
hahaha
S.S
this was hilarious.!!
*sigh*
you just made my night
:)

xxx

Ebony~!* said...

LOL i guess this is a 'sunday post'.it was realli entertaining!

Ebony~!* said...

LOL @:By ur grace and my bucket of water we go jam next week.

UnderCover07 said...

Lol...if water dsn't do the trick, try ice; that will definitely wake 'em up.

Which qstn person wan ask u when ur crazy self never don already answer.

TaioFierce Ameen said...

lol.... ur siblings av looked 4 crz trouble.....lol @ by grace and bucket of water, well heaven helps dose who help demselves, so if d bucket is ur help so be it.....lol

Qube The Wordsmith said...

You culd always do wat I do to my lil sis wen she don't wake up...

Deliver a NABS to their cheek (NABS bin Nitro Assisted Bitch Slap)

Works al d time..

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Bubbles: Glad I cud be of service me bubbly jerking lady lol

@Quagger: Thanks o , e no easy lol. Omo how far ur blog now? everytime i want to comment the word verification thing pops up nd i can't see d box to type in d words fix am o cos i get opinions lol

@Ebony: thanks for stopping by, appreciate it

@undercover07: u dis babe u have just concluded that I am mad shey? nothin do u lol

@Taio: dis one is all out war o, next sunday I will kill someborri mehn lol

@Qube: dude i've been waiting for you to reply my many taunts lol...but kai u must get serious strokes 4rm u pals mehn

Mz. Eniola said...

loool! y do u wake up @ 6 doe..wow...service here starts 11 till 1..6 is early o! :( LMAO! haha! see ur poor sister n brother! ure mean! scribbles !lool! buh 4 weeks! haha !n i tot i was bad...ure d ring leader..of not goin to church!

Tinu said...

lol@ur bro and sis!!
wow sir scribbles ur 100th post already!!congratulations

nameless said...

LWKMD!!

i dnt knw when i am gonna stop laffing..lol! i think u shud stick with the plan and keep the cold water :)

x

Elusivebabe said...

LMAOO!!

Wish I had a big brother like you mehn...life would never be dull.

x

Ms. Dufa said...

LOL! That was so funny! I can so relate to that because I'm like your siblings! I never sleep early on the eve of church service. I'd be either making midnight calls or browsing. When my mum comes to wake me up,I'll feel as if I just feel asleep seconds ago.

I'll crash in the toilet, or look for one correct corner to hide and continue dozing. Or I'll sit up, and close one eye and continue sleeping. Before you know it, i'd be curled up in bed again. They're always shouting that I make them go late to church. If I'm really tired, I'll do part.2 at church too. But I've slowed down now.

Free your siblings abeg.

That was funny sha.

chayoma said...

If God wasn't laffing whilst reading this, i am sure as hell(scratch that) as Heaven, laffing for him!
You will neva cease to amaze me. period. But 6 am? Haba, that one na suicidal!
I give you go ahead and the cold water treatment. But be warned, i did undergo such and am immune to it! lol

100 Posts! no be small thing oh! we give thanks for your kolo yarns.
iNbtwn, wherez leggy? i made it here b4 her?

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Mz.Eniola: Mehn teh church is far that's all, that's why we decided we cudn't even make it to the service! I'm not mean jo, d two maniacs just want to drive me nutz here lol

@Tinu: as in it's both exciting and scary cos i obviously spend too much time on my lappy

@nameless: as in d cold water sturvs isn konfirmed! i must pour water on somebody next week sha

@Ms. Dufa: Na ur type need d cold water pass. If i was ur brother u 4 her wehn!

@Chayoma: hehn! u r doing some mini blasphemy shey...on my blog sef, u wan put me for trouble wiv oga G shey? 100 posts is on it;s way but y'all were suppose to send in questions.

Sir Scribbles II said...

@elusivebabe: awwww...u dis babe u have been flattering me too much o...me not complaining sha

Sir Scribbles II said...

@elusivebabe: I just went over to urs...can u please tell me wat u r playing at...as in u owe us an explanation pronto

Rene said...

LMAO!!!
for reals now 'aro' wud reject you.

iphyigbogurl said...

lol...ur siblings are a trip mehn!!
kai! wen i was younger i used to do this thing mehn, mumsi will wake us up, and we'll be like 'mummy please give us 15 mins to pray''...... she'll come back again in 30 mins thinkin we are awake ang gettin ready only to see us crashing...lol
when una reach church, church never close?

Suru said...

Haha me too I need to go to church it's been a month and sadly it's the same reason as your siblings. Sleeping late and too tired to wake up on time...

Elusivebabe said...

Lol....It's temporary sweetie. Hope you have a nice week. =)

Naija bad boi.... said...

ooooooooooooooohh...i hate been late!!! damn...neways sha 23rd!!!! yaaay....

Splash said...

lol @ "By ur grace and my bucket of water we go jam next week."
i am guilty of falling asleep on the toilet bowl myself. my aunty beat me tire!

100 posts!
bros, i salute you.
will def ask questions.

Lolia said...

Between "c/o Angel Gabe" and "...my bucket of water" I'm basically internally dying of laughter.

I hope you guys get to go next week..

And I'm patiently waiting for this announcement of yours...

patiently...

Temite said...

awwwwwwwwwwwww. So adorable. I like your plan for next week and I am sure God wont mind the COLD water bath either.

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

LWKMD with those sibling of yours, no be their fault na sleep no gree catch them on time.

Congratulations on your 100th post

cutee said...

4rm 1st to 28th.lol

LMAO!!! free ur siblings na,it happens u knw hw slip is u cnt control it.

congrats on d 100th post...

BSNC said...

lol i don't blame them jo. You no no wetin this sleep dey cause person. When i gats to sleep i gats to sleep. at least you still go the church now..

mehh you have been annoucing this ur 100 post since. we don hear now haba.

faB!! said...

LOOOL!!! So this is how u feeel??
who knows if this how my older sister feels when she's trying to wake us up for church.

Hmmm.... I need to change cos now I know its a little frustrating!! lol!!

CultureCynic said...

bia u berra leave those kids alone, how do we know that u weren't the one who prevented them from attending those other times three weeks ago wit ur own shenanigans??

ur life is a blogpost this boy....only u Robertford...only you.


seeing as i am Psychic from my mum's side, i know what this suprise is, but i promise to still act 'suprised' when u tell the rest of the world. u berra send 'hush' token.

leggy said...

oh wow...1000...dats a big one nd i loved ur letter...lol.

leggy said...

nd i cnt belive that u didnt even stop by to wish me happy 50th.

David Numba-one God'sfave said...

LWKMD!!! very funny and nicely written...good stuff!

check mine out:
http://davidolorun.blogspot.com/

Buttercup said...

Loooooooooooooool! Hilarious! That reminds me, I haven't been to church in a minute either..damn..