a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Friends, Sex & tings

07:26 Posted by Sir Scribbles , , 35 comments
It's the age old question peeps, Can a guy and a girl be friends without any sexual tension between them? Can a girl have a guy as a "BFF", as some would like to call it, without any underlying sexual intent? I think it's possible but rare. I think it's actually possible for a guy and girl to be really close friends without thinking about shagging each other. So why do I say it's rare then? Simple, cos Sex is everywhere? It's on TV, it's in games, newspapers and billboards. Sex is everywhere these days and you'd have to be either blind or one hell of a prude not to even have a glancing thought about it. I think it's harder for boys and girls to have that ultimate agape friendship these days because the only way you can escape all the subtle sexually suggestive devices in this world is to lock yourself in a cage buried 10ft in the ground. In my opinion, there are some factors that a totally sexless friendship are based one. It's either:

You've been friends since you were kids and you see each other like family. The mere thought of shagging each other feels like incest and makes you want to barf your entrails and hang yourself with a noose made from your own intestines


You look smoking hot and the other friend in question looks like calligraphy done by a drunk chicken. You love this friend to pieces but you can't imagine having anything sexual to do with them cos you've imagined what their face would look like if it was at the height of sexual pleasure and your imagination started to cry cos of what you saw.


You've known this friend for ages and you've seen him or her slip in and out of relationships like a loose condom on a wingwong. You have given this friend so much advice, comfort and criticism concerning boys/girls that you can't even imagine sleeping with them either because it would just make the whole friendship weird/hypocritical or because you think they've got some deadly STD.

These are just some of reasons I think a boy and girl can remain close friends, BFFs if you will, without any sexual tension between them. If you look at it from another angle, the reasons I gave can also pass for reasons why any one of the parties is always thinking about boning their close friend. You've been friends since childhood? I know a girl who almost got raped by her best friend. One of you is ugly as hell? All the more reason for the ugly one to consider rape. Been with too many people and you're not sure if it's a good idea? Yeah rite, cos rational thinking beats sex everything right? The truth is friendship is a risky business and underlying sexual tension is just one of the risks that come with the job. If you have a close friendship with someone that is completely devoid of sexual tension then brilliant. However, sexual tension between friends is not a bad thing and it only shows you both are human. How you handle that tension is what really matters.

Ps: I'm down with the flu and as usual it's reduced me to a misreable snivelling bag of phlegm.


Devine said...


Devine said...

lol, calligraphy by a drunk chicken, dude u have gained new respect in my eyes!
i actually think that close friends get to a point wer they look at each other n think, should we, n then change their minds, just cus the friendship means more than sex
n there r instances wer truly u just dnt want to be next in the line of ur bff conquests

..Moyo said...

Second :(
I have a male best friend!
And he definitely doesn't think of it with me.
Lol "You look smoking hot and the other friend in question looks like calligraphy done by a drunk chicken." my friend is hot thoughh - really but me and him no-o-o-o!
Oh and I have a lot of male friends *sigh* only thing though, is that they catch feelings but i don't. Maybe one or two but yeah. its normal :)

Feel betttter quick quick! :)

Anonymous said...

Unfortunately for me,all my close gal pals are hot and totally shaggable. I dont think about it all the time,but i wouldnt decline if the opportunity presents itself. Btw scribbles you are going to hell for that 'calligrapy by a drunk chicken line'

BBB said...

Ur d only person I know
That can be down with d flu and still make me laugh

I actually have a very close male friend
We fall into d childhood part
Can't ever imagine havin sex wit him
I used to like him a bit when we were really young
Like around 10yrs
I used to lie in my school that he was my bf lol

BBB said...

Ur d only person I know
That can be down with d flu and still make me laugh

I actually have a very close male friend
We fall into d childhood part
Can't ever imagine havin sex wit him
I used to like him a bit when we were really young
Like around 10yrs
I used to lie in my school that he was my bf lol

Ebony~!* said...

hehehehie~ This is soooo true!...I had a male best friend but instance 2 was my case... *Innocent face* + he was getting to sensual it turned out semi disgusting. LOL pele on your cold and get well. :(

Jemilah said...

Have you noticed that it is always girls that defend the 'girls and boys can be friends'' side of the argument. i always want to projectile vomit when I'm attacked for being skeptical about opposite sex relationships. your post is spot on! yes, boys and girls can be friends but they cannot be platonic friends. it is impossible! society has made us aware of our sexual differences. yes we have a lot of opposite sex friendships but how close are we to them? can you describe in great detail your last sexy encounter without making the other person feel uncomfortable? i have a very good friend that is a guy and a reason why we shall not be getting together is the fact that we have different outlooks in life and that is very important for me. put it this way: We do not see eye to eye. another reason is we are both in a relationship of our own.

@Moyo: the boy is thinking of you that way you just don't know it

NakedSha said...

Ha, it's true talk that it's rare for this to happen.

I do have a few male 'besties' and sex will be IMPOSSI-CANNOT.

But your reasons are rational even though that cannot be all!

Harry-Rami Itie said...

I think it is possible...

Jojolewa said...

It@s nnot possible...the sexual tension will always come up and it will take great will power to overcome...and more often than not one party will fall...and the other will end up being hurt so

IMHO your best friend of the opposite sex should either be ur life time partner or youe spouse...ONLY!

bob-ij said...

Poor you! Hope you get better..NOW ONTO THE POST:
BAHAHAHAHA! Lol and unfair @ and one being ugly and then imagining...blah blah!
I have a guy BFF and anything more than a hug WILL BE incest! lol Yep we've been friends right from primary school! good take on things tho!


Miss Enigma a.k.a UnderCover07 said...

Eyahh! Ndo feel better. I hope Gabrielle Union is coming over to take care of u n mke u some badass chicken soup...lol.

It is possible to be jst friends BUT like u said it is either both parties hve been friends for a long time. The only close guy friends I hve are from primary sch, almost every guy friend has had other intentions.

Sucks when u think ah! finally one decent guy dat I can hve as a good friend, they go n screw it all up by catching feelings, getting emotionally attached n wanting more. When u say u not down lyk dat, dey gte mad or hurt and down d drain goes the friendship. Mschew...lol

Miss Loré said...

lol well you can be 'best friends' after you have shagged and got that out of the way or at least some form of sexual thing has thing has gone down and you are over it

i haven't been here in a while...i like a lot.

~B~ said...

ROFL @ 'calligraphy done by a drunk chicken' wiked much? :P

actually hav a lot of male friends, never really thot bout d sexual tension bit...on my part sha...hmmmm

get well soon thow!!


you are too quality

Myne Whitman said...

LOL at the analogies - noose from entrails? Hmm.. But are those reasons really enough?

Sorry about the flu. Hope you're better now and have a nice weekend.

Anonymous said...

LOL at your imagination crying!
My best friend of 17 yrs, -a guy- who I had vever even so much as looked at funny, just told me that he is gettin married and I am COMPLETELY crazified about it! I hav now convinced myself dat he is d love of my life becuz he knows me so well, etc... Sexual tension -real or imagined- even rared its ugly head. I think babes n guyz can be friends, but sex pops up once in a while, or eventually, because we r basically animalistic creatures and sex is the most instintive way for us to show affection or emotion, hence pity-sex, love-sex, angry-sex, sad-sex, joy-sex, etc.

juiceegal said...

But Robby we're close now and there is no sexual tension..hmmm or maybe you've been eyeing me..oya confess....lmao..okay joke is over hehe. Well i blogged about this a while ago, when i was still an active blogger :( I think its kinda possible, like i really do.

Anonymous said...

If i wanted to ask you about something personal that has to do with blogging, is there an email i can reach you on...

onosetale(damsel) said...

its possible to be friends...but most times one tries to take it further...and when friends get physical...things get awkward pretty fast!!

Anonymous said...

You forgot if the guy is gay...:-).

Splash said...

it is possible. difficult sha.but very possible.
i have a friend like that.
maybe cuz i know most of the girls he's shagged.

anon amos said...

i have 3 'BFFs'- 2 guys & 1 girl; met all 3 in sec skool.
the girl was my best friend from the very start, the guys n i became close after graduation. one of them developed from a crush & then we became too close for anything to actually happen.

i think whatever 'tension' is there arises only at the beginning of the friendship, when you're just getting to know each other n there's potential for more (for me at least). but once our friendship gets to a certain level, you become family... and yes it's considered incest at that point.

loving your blog! pure hilarity :D

ibukun said...

ok so i stumbled on ur blog. love it!!!!!!!!!! bt i cnt read em all today as revision needs to be done.
my friend has bn telln me to do some 'blogging' nw i see y. very interesting.
keep on cos i want to keep reading.

lahlah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
lahlah said...

r.scribz you're harsh, "caligraphy by a drunk chicken" lol. wow. ok, i don't think it's possible for guys and girls to just be bff. they can fake it though, especially if one of them isn't feeling the other, then the other friend might try to suppress his/her desire for the sake of friendship. Only other way is if one of them is gay. hope you get better soon. and lol, Your phlegm comes in bags?i am both amused and grossed out by the thought

Femme Lounge said...

i would say yes! it is possible, some people are good friends and not sexually attracted to each other at all.

Tai -Osagbemi Boma said...

its possible !! i agree wiv harry

Red Rose Princess said...

First off..LOVE this post!.It is possible though. Personally, I have had BFF's mostly with guys that were initially potential boyfriends/spring/summer flings and it just DID NOT work. Sometimes it happens because the two individuals may have tried going down that route but it did not work out

Moradeyo said...

LOL...My 1st visit here... ewww @ bag of Phlegm

Guccib3ll3 said...

Lol "You look smoking hot and the other friend in question looks like calligraphy done by a drunk chicken."

Lol U have a point, I had a male best friend and the thought of sex was never an issue
I even know of a 5 yr relationship that is still going on without sex, so yes it's very possible!

Anonymous said...

"and your imagination started to cry cos of what you saw"...kai!...scribbles is Sick!! *sigh*...God help us,oh!

Tassumpty :D said...

how did u come up with this, all by yourself..I'm so proud of you..you have made something really clear to me. Thumbs up.

Anonymous said...

I think its possible but very very rare. Its easier when they've had sex and that's out of the way. But somehow, there's bound to be sexual tension.