Gist...

I've never been good at fasting! I think the whole aim of the fast has been accomplished sef. It was my attempt at reconnnecting with my blog and it worked. Oya everybody back to work, The Buju candidate is back and I have gist sha

LOL! Now this is purely gossip, some of you know Miss B, she runs Naija Daydreamer. You shud check it out, like seriously u shud, she's got a very elaborate imagination, definitely not up to mine but she tries to be aweosme like me lol. She's a really good writer plus an A+ friend of moi so check it out. Now that I've given my conscience an alibi to rely on I'll tell u d reason why I've mentioned dis babe. Miss B likes pets, goldfish to be precise. Now dis friend of mine cares for these fishes, she feeds dem, cleans their bowl nd all dat but they always sem to kick d bucket..or shud I say kick d bowl. We don't know whether she's d murderer or the fishes commit suicide but one sure thing is dat they always die. The last one's name was Boubou, Boubou lasted a year nd 3 months b4 he died of mysterious causes and we r yet to receive an officially report from the pet shop coroner. A few days ago I was wiv a mutual friend of moi nd Miss B wen she calls and announces dat she's just bought another goldfish...2 infact. Now ladies nd Gentlemen help me answer this question. If one fish keeps dying, wats d need of getting 2? Apparently Miss B assumes that wen one sees d other dying it'll call 911 or attempt CPR lol. She even told me that she wanted to name one of the fishes after me? isn't dat a threat on my life? We all know d fishes will kpai so naming one after me is a death threat in my book. I know you'll read this B which is why I warned you b4 I posted it, it's all Luv hun.

I was on d bus a few days ago and someone came and sat in front of me. She had a pair of tight jeans on with a sleeveless T-shirt and brown sunglasses. You know wat made things even more interesting? we had d stare game! Her sunglasses glared from the flourescent lighting in the bus but her eyes was still visible. At first wen I noticed she was staring it was weird, but a lil innocent staring never hurt anyone, plus d babe was fine so me sef no dull. She stared, I stared, she looked away, I stared, her phone rang, I looked away, she stared, I considered an inviting smile, she stared, my phone rang, I picked it, the bus stopped, she got off, I cursed in my head, this is to you Juiceegal, it's all your fault!!!!!!!!!!!

Some pple can think of some nonsense scams mehn. Okay there's this 'Magician', his name is Derren Brown. You can google the sucker after you've read this paragraph. So what did this man do? Some time last week he predicted the winning numbers for the National lottery. You know d only problem with his prediction? The maga predicted the numbers AFTER they had been drawn! Is it just me or is something simply wrong with this trick? How can u predict something that's already happened? Okay me sef be magician *places fingers on temples* I predict that the sun will shine tomorrow but only after the moon has shone tonight, I predict that someone will be first to comment on this post and it won't be me, I predict that by the end of dis week Paris Hilton wud have had sex. Who does dis Maga think he's deceiving? If na so magic be dem me sef na magician shey? Bullocks!

Why is it that all women have an arch enemy? I try not to generalise when I can but today, for this post, I will risk it. Why is it that women always have another woman who wants to 'destroy' them, or so they say. I ask this cos 1 in 3 women have at least one arch enemy who they are not speaking to because of reasons like gossip, hating, backstabbing, BF snatching, Husband kpanshing, Borrow-my-stuff-and-never-return, or best friend gone bad! (Scribbles institute of statistics, 2009). Even if a woman has a battalion of friends there is always one babe at least who she isn't speaking to and in d most extreme cases wants to pull out her extensions. You see, dat's why being a guy is sooo cool, when guys have beef we settle it there and then, anything that can't be settled then is either forgotten or sorted out over a friendly game of punch me I punch you. Wiv guys there's no 'eyeing' or pretence, if we no like each other we no like each other and the hating parties are aware of the mutual lack of liking. If there's beef we air it out and if it can't be sorted then everbody goes their way wiv either a miniscule amount of trouble or a traditional chooking of bottle...we r direct no? There are exceptions as always but compared with y'all girls I think dudes are less prone to hating than gurls. oya chop my head...