a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Monday, 5 October 2009

Gist...

05:08 Posted by Sir Scribbles 17 comments
I've never been good at fasting! I think the whole aim of the fast has been accomplished sef. It was my attempt at reconnnecting with my blog and it worked. Oya everybody back to work, The Buju candidate is back and I have gist sha

LOL! Now this is purely gossip, some of you know Miss B, she runs Naija Daydreamer. You shud check it out, like seriously u shud, she's got a very elaborate imagination, definitely not up to mine but she tries to be aweosme like me lol. She's a really good writer plus an A+ friend of moi so check it out. Now that I've given my conscience an alibi to rely on I'll tell u d reason why I've mentioned dis babe. Miss B likes pets, goldfish to be precise. Now dis friend of mine cares for these fishes, she feeds dem, cleans their bowl nd all dat but they always sem to kick d bucket..or shud I say kick d bowl. We don't know whether she's d murderer or the fishes commit suicide but one sure thing is dat they always die. The last one's name was Boubou, Boubou lasted a year nd 3 months b4 he died of mysterious causes and we r yet to receive an officially report from the pet shop coroner. A few days ago I was wiv a mutual friend of moi nd Miss B wen she calls and announces dat she's just bought another goldfish...2 infact. Now ladies nd Gentlemen help me answer this question. If one fish keeps dying, wats d need of getting 2? Apparently Miss B assumes that wen one sees d other dying it'll call 911 or attempt CPR lol. She even told me that she wanted to name one of the fishes after me? isn't dat a threat on my life? We all know d fishes will kpai so naming one after me is a death threat in my book. I know you'll read this B which is why I warned you b4 I posted it, it's all Luv hun.

I was on d bus a few days ago and someone came and sat in front of me. She had a pair of tight jeans on with a sleeveless T-shirt and brown sunglasses. You know wat made things even more interesting? we had d stare game! Her sunglasses glared from the flourescent lighting in the bus but her eyes was still visible. At first wen I noticed she was staring it was weird, but a lil innocent staring never hurt anyone, plus d babe was fine so me sef no dull. She stared, I stared, she looked away, I stared, her phone rang, I looked away, she stared, I considered an inviting smile, she stared, my phone rang, I picked it, the bus stopped, she got off, I cursed in my head, this is to you Juiceegal, it's all your fault!!!!!!!!!!!

Some pple can think of some nonsense scams mehn. Okay there's this 'Magician', his name is Derren Brown. You can google the sucker after you've read this paragraph. So what did this man do? Some time last week he predicted the winning numbers for the National lottery. You know d only problem with his prediction? The maga predicted the numbers AFTER they had been drawn! Is it just me or is something simply wrong with this trick? How can u predict something that's already happened? Okay me sef be magician *places fingers on temples* I predict that the sun will shine tomorrow but only after the moon has shone tonight, I predict that someone will be first to comment on this post and it won't be me, I predict that by the end of dis week Paris Hilton wud have had sex. Who does dis Maga think he's deceiving? If na so magic be dem me sef na magician shey? Bullocks!

Why is it that all women have an arch enemy? I try not to generalise when I can but today, for this post, I will risk it. Why is it that women always have another woman who wants to 'destroy' them, or so they say. I ask this cos 1 in 3 women have at least one arch enemy who they are not speaking to because of reasons like gossip, hating, backstabbing, BF snatching, Husband kpanshing, Borrow-my-stuff-and-never-return, or best friend gone bad! (Scribbles institute of statistics, 2009). Even if a woman has a battalion of friends there is always one babe at least who she isn't speaking to and in d most extreme cases wants to pull out her extensions. You see, dat's why being a guy is sooo cool, when guys have beef we settle it there and then, anything that can't be settled then is either forgotten or sorted out over a friendly game of punch me I punch you. Wiv guys there's no 'eyeing' or pretence, if we no like each other we no like each other and the hating parties are aware of the mutual lack of liking. If there's beef we air it out and if it can't be sorted then everbody goes their way wiv either a miniscule amount of trouble or a traditional chooking of bottle...we r direct no? There are exceptions as always but compared with y'all girls I think dudes are less prone to hating than gurls. oya chop my head...


17 comments:

UnderCover07 said...

1st??? Na lie...lol

UnderCover07 said...

Lol...no be lie, I do agree dat dudes have less beef with each other than we chics do (IMO)...Lol @ a game of punch me, I punch you.

Well u r still on probation to prove that u have blogsville interest at heart not wayo wayo politics...its all luv Scribbs!!!

Scarlet said...

lol tell her not to name d fish after u! Guess with girls emotion has a role to play and the result is drama.

Controversy said...

Lol sir scribbles..
So true @ guys no dey do all this things females do. I've always wondered about that, if i get prob with the guy i go talk to em about it.

Bubbles said...

LMAOOOO
Husband Kpanshing
I find that word so funny lol
ANYWAYS
I think trying to understand girls and their mortal enemies is totally pointless so just let it go boo

and LOL at your friend naming a fish after you
I think she should since your broke ass refuses to pay my bride price :)

miss b said...

Looool, scribbles this was not the deal!! Let me explain people, a normal goldfish's life span is 2 years so in goldfish years my fish was like over 50!!Infact for this, I am naming one of them Scribbles!!
And the problem is because girls are way more emotional. I definately wish girls settled thoer scores the way guys did. It defo makes my life easier!!!

Lady X said...

I have to disagree Scribbles. Guys are big hypocrites and they act like everything is settled and then they go behind each others backs to snatch their friends babe or some shit like that.

chayoma said...

LWKMD
this Miss B's goldfish tori...kai, see how u wan paint person black and blue.
i wld admit, there is this chick, i dunno what i did to her oh, but my guard is always ten million inches up around her, and to think there was once a time we were close.
story of my life.

leggy said...

lol...i dont really know about the girl thing sha,but the magician really is a genius...not!!!!!

Repressed One said...

lol...me no get arch enemy oh!!

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

We ladies are born for drama.

Guys will pretend to deal with the issue at hand and would now turn around to do the guy strong thing.

lol@ punch me, I punch you

The Girl with the Red Hair said...

We ladies are born for drama.

Guys will pretend to deal with the issue at hand and would now turn around to do the guy strong thing.

lol@ punch me, I punch you

Sir Scribbles II said...

Undercover:Probation? how now? haven't I proved myself yet? there's no wayo here oh! u sure it's all luv?

Scarlet: well dats true sha, since u lot are more emotional i guess it affects d way u relate with each other

Controversy: Guy tell dem oh! we don't waste time mehn, it's either sorted or dismissed. Guys no get wahala

Bubbles: lol u r nt serious, kpanshing is english u know. Me? brokeass ke? I told u dat u shud contact me so we can arrange a direct debit but u r dulling

Miss b: come why r u making noise? we know boubou did not die a natural death so stop d noise making lol. still luv B

Lady X: Well dats why I said there r some exceptions but u can't compare dat wiv women u know, y'all r definitely worse than men

Chayoma: LMAO! i warned her b4 i posted it so my conscience is clear. u see, dats exactly my point! there's too much beef wiv chicks mehn

Leggy: Derren Brown is a mugu, he's even tried some worse tricks which were totally crap

Repressed one: well u r either one of d lucky ones or they are paraded as friends for now

Girl with the red hair: lol, yeah like i said there r exceptions but can u seriously compare guys beef to girls? as if u pple don't do strong things to each other too

kay9 said...

I like the staring game, i never lose it, never!! Haha! About the fish, well, des pisces requiesat in pacem.... i'm catholic, see?

Nice Anon said...

Why would anyone waste time on haters? LOL abeg yarn better thing!

Staring game abi? I have one of those with this dude. He just stares at and I do the same.

Fabulo-la said...

LOL @ the fish caling 911.
LMAO

oh wow...

Sir Scribbles II said...

Kay9: omo d staring game get levels, one time i did it wiv girl nd i cud swear she cud see wat i did last summer lol.

Nice anon: u know dats d way to treat haters, they want attention nd wen u give it to dem they feel satisfied. so u too liek to stare? flirt!

Fabulo-la: lol. Miss b is quite a character i tell you.