Ladies and Gentlemen my birthday don dey come *gen gen* hehehe! You shud have been expecting this since naw, 4rm Januray till now I haven't said anything about a birthday so obvioulsy it's around d corner. I'm thinking of making a wishlist but it's dat kind of thing dat makes ur friends avoid you till d following year lol. Frankly I dnt do lists cos I think it puts pple who care in awkward positions and takes d whole fun of gifting giving out of a birthday. However, my friend got 2 iphones 4rm 'platonic' friends so I'm looking to invest in dis list making market. WAAAAAAAAAIIT!! Una don dey run shey? dnt worry I dnt want an iphone joh! Not to make too much mouth but I'm a very satisfied young man so wat do u think? list or no list? well I guess the more appropriate question to ask wud be publish the list or not? I have already drafted the it and by just looking at it I know that even the people who care will revolt. If I do publish the list I expect to see a small placared weilding mob gathered on my lawn chanting something like "Hell no! Scribbles list must go!"
I heard Nkem Owoh aka Osuofia was kidnapped lol. I don't know why I find that so frigging funny I swear! I also heard the kidnappers made a ransom demand of N15m LOL! Abeg who is going to pay that amount of money for Nkem Owoh? I'm not saying he's not worth it oh, what I'm asking is who's going to pay it? I'm expecting some of his usual movie co-stars to stand up and be counted, Sam Loco where are you? John Okafor aka Mr. Ibu pay dis ransom, Patience Ozokwor aka Mama Gee show us how much of a mama u are biko! Come to think of it this kidnapping business is a way of measuring how famous you are you know. I forsee a future where if ur an A-list celeb and you haven't been kidnap you'll get demoted to the B-kist and if you still dnt attract kidnappers you get a further demotion. Actors go dey vex sey dem neva kidnap dem, muscians will be hustling to be kidnapped lol. You can trust Timaya to mention it in one of his tracks naw, "My name na Timaya ransomed cos I'm handsome dey strike like a thunder dey blow like a bazooka" LMAO!
I watched a CNN backstory segment about the Mafia in Italy a while back. The reporter was very enthusiastic and I was really interested in the story especially since it involved the mafia. The reporter focused on a particular town and how the mafia had the inhabitants in a chokehold. He said they were forced to pay protection money to the ruling mafia and the amount of extortion going on there was unbelievable. Now you'd think doing a story on the mafia in a mafia controlled town wudn't be risky enuf for this reporter right? well like I said he was very enthusiastic and this man wanted to really capture the essence of a mafia controlled town. He said he wanted to see if he cud get one of the shop owners on a street to confess that he paid protection money to the mafia, LMAO! Dats just mad shey? Now I'm no mafia boss and most of my mafia knwoledge was acquired courtesy of Grand theft auto but I believe getting someone to confess they pay protection money to the mafia on international televisiosn isn't really a smart thign to do, kinda like signing ur death warrant on a global scale. You know this reporter actually walked up to a man in a store and told the man he was on CNN and asked if he paid protection money, Omo u for see d man face naw, I swear he cudn't believe that was wat he was being asked on camera. The reporter was indirectly trying to get the poor man killed. The man didn't even answer the reporter, he just went into his store muttering something under his breath in italian. My Italian is a bit rusty seeing as I dnt speak the language but common sense tells me that what that man said was "Fecking maga! Be like sey bomb dey your papa head"
Do you know M.I? I love M.I, Mr incrdible is a genius and one of d most lyrically sound artists of in naija but something always gets to me wen I hear his rhymes. Now those of you who listen to M.I will know that in his lyrics he likes to declare that he is Nigerian and proud, infact he usually says he's a black boy nd he's proud. Now I just think dats stating d obvious, is there really need to reinform us about the colour of your skin M.I.? have u seen M.I? dat broda is blacker than charcoal with a sun tan. He keeps repeating he's black like sey we dey follow am argue. Is there a debate going on somewhere about M.I's complexion? who is d maga dat thinks M.I is a halfcast or mixed race or even oyibo sef? That's like saying Fela never smoked weed or Chris brown pays attention to all those warnings at the beginning of wrestling shows that say "Don't try this at home"
I love blogsville you know, I really can't elaborate what I've learned and experienced cos of the people here and it's soo no cool seeing all this spite and strife. I don talk my own sha!