a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Friday, 6 November 2009

The Division (concluded)

11:04 Posted by Sir Scribbles 6 comments
If you read the last post then you already know what the deal is, my pal Richie is in a bit of a dilemna because he's dating a white girl and his mum isn't happy with the idea. I was always accused of negligence because I let my friend fall into teh hands of a white girl. Now this wasn't what bothered me abouut the whole issue, what bothered me was the way Richie's mum and uncle analysed the whole thing. I decided to quote two comments from the previous post not because I felt they were the most accurate or important but because they were actually related to teh analysis I wanted to give in this concluding post.

First off is Neo's comment and I believe it was a very concise way of explaining why interracial relationships received tons of raised eyebrows. Rascism has affected a lot of things in our society and mindsets have either been modelled or remodelled based on it. The reason why Richie's mum and uncle are so critical of is relationship with the girl is simply because when they were Richie's age the thought of even associating with a white person cordially was precareious. The disposition of the 'old folk' towards interracial associations has been passed down through generations and that's the reason why some people in this modern time still see a these sort of associations as finite and unserious. The modern mind always tries to criticse the folk who frown on interracial relationships but sometimes we forget that their idealogies are modelled based on experiences they had and situations they've been in which in most cases they couldn't control. An old black man will tell his son not to marry a white woman simply because he's seen it lead to disaster before and he'll be absolutely justified. Also a friend will tell you that it's cool to date someone from another race simply because in this day and age the line between races and cultures has been blurred to insignificance, also justifiable.

The second and final comment is Lady X's becasue it gives insight into the issue of racial division and ethic preferences. After analysing the incident at the wedding you'd be pretty close to concluding that Richie's mum and uncle were rascist right? Now consider this, there's a possibility that rather than racism being the root of their idealogy it's stereotyping. In my opinion stereotyping is an infant form of rascism along with other types of prejudice and one can only become prejudiced concerning issues like this after reaching a climax in stereotyping. They said a white woman will just use Richie and dump him, same way they might say a Hausa woman will not be able to make eba the way he wants it or a yoruba woman will put too much oil in his stew. When it comes to stereotyping, experiences lead to opinions which gain doggedness as the effects of the experiences seep deeper into one's being. In the end the most dogged opinions give birth to stereotyped dispostions. The message here is similar to the previous paragraph, their mindsets may be questionable but their experiences cannot be disregarded.

In conclusion, I didn't talk to Richie about his white girlfriend because I didn't see the need to do so. If he's doing it for the right reasons then who are we to judge? If he's got less than admirable intentions then that's between him and his 'girlfriend'. We can't deny that most interracial relationships are met with raised eyebrows and stereotyping will always play a role in the analysis of such relations but consider this and correct me if I'm wrong; genuine interracial relationships require a lot of understanding, patience, compromise and confidence. People who consider getting involved in them must ask themselves if they are ready to exude all these traits constantly because the society, as modern as you may think it is, will never let an opportunity to test them all go unused.


Devine said...

personally, apart from the difference in culture, I dont see the big deal in inter racial relationships
i dare say to ppl who hv been posting comments on how myopic his parents views r, have d same views one way or another, its easier to point fingers at sm1 but in your individual lives, hv u bordered on even Thinking about inter racial relationships? let alone being marriage?
I agree with your conclusion, life will continously test them and it really shouldnt be that way

Azazel said...

Baba scribbles lets call a spade a spade..
Richie's mom and dad are full blown RACISTS!!! for even havin problems with the marraige..
No need to sugar coat it my broda, blacks can be racist as well.. His parents are racists and that's a very sad thing.

chayoma said...

Whatever floats ya boat, i always say.
I don't see anything to it. that's just me

Bubbles said...


Anonymous said...

i dont know why your posts always show up late on my blogrol.anyway, i agree with you.his parents are not racist, it is the fear of a single story.they've probabaly heard of that white woman who controls her husband or that white woman who wont allow their grand children to come see them in nigeria, or that white womam who cant cook any nigerian food or that white woman who doesnt know the respectful ways to do thing sin nigerian culture. this is indeed the consequences of a single story.
cos they never talk about my friends mum who speaks awka more than my mum, they dont talk about that my cousin's neighbour in abuja who thinks that children who dont prostrate to greet adults are stupid(see how she is talking like expert..lol), they forget that woman who beat her son when she was BSing.
seriously, i agree with you, they are not racists, this is def the consequences of a single story.

FASCHE said...

I dont think this is being sugar-coated! Society alone will throw stones at them just because they have different skin colours. I am not against interracial marriages because I think more important factors should be considered first. However, I think the parents are yet to cross the hurdle of that first barrier and we all know how important parental consent is in marriages especially in Africa! Oh well, let time and open-mindedness decide for them and their parents!