a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Friday, 18 September 2009

YOU GO FEAR NAW!!!

03:26 Posted by Sir Scribbles 27 comments
My baby cousin is going to have a first birthday soon and guess what my Aunt and Uncle had decided to do? They want me to be the MC at the party, YOU GO FEAR NAW!! I am still tryin to figure out if it's a priviledge they want to give me or a crafty way of saving money cos they know I'll do it for free. The only issue is I've never MCed b4 and don't even know what I'm supposed to do. Abeg blogsville make una help me abeg, what am I supposed to do? They told me that I'm funny and I should just be natural but I keep having flashbacks of my Final year defence where I was drippign in sweat, my Secondary school award night where I nearly fainted and Primary school christmas carol where I cudn't stop waving at my parents lol...of which I'm planning on charging dem sef, wat do they mean lol.

I have an Uncle who drives the most run-down car you've ever seen in your life. The car is so beat-up dat the police give you a trophy if they catch you speeding, it's so beat-up that traffic lights always turn green wen he drives by cos they don't want it hanging around too long, it's so beat-up that Al-Qaeda can't use it for a car bomb cos it's bad PR. So one day Uncle Felix came to the house nd announced he was buying a new car, we were so thrilled ehn, nearly pop champagned for the man. We were all congratulating him when he made another announcement, he said he didn't want to sell the old man but wants to give it to me....YOU GO FEAR NAW! I'd rather ride on London's crowded buses and share MY air with smelly strangers at tube stations than be caught in Uncle Felix's 'embarrasmobile'. Maybe d man feel sey en dey do me favour? Well thanks but no thanks, allow me to dey use leg go supermarket abeg! If I drive that thing for a month it'd be better for me to go gay cos no woman will ever speak to me again, if I drive dat thing to a car wash d attendatns will slap me, If i drive dat thing to church they'll ask d car for a prayer request! Mba! not me oh, my God has bigger things planned for me.

I saw something quite weird a few days ago and I'll let you guys decided wat was really going on. I was walking past a restaurant and I saw this woman hugging a kid by a car. It was a very intimate hug nd it just seemed weird. She had was squatting, rubbing his back nd then slowly she reached down, grabbed d boys butt nd squeezed it...YOU GO FEAR NAW! You know d way Kanye hugs nd grabs Amber? yeah like dat! that's how dis woman was grabbing this kid. At this point the only thing I cud hear 4rm my earphones was static, my jaw nearly fell from my face, I just stood there staring as this woman as she continued grabbing and sqeezing this boy's pre-school butt. It's not like he was a dwarf or something oh, dis one na confirmed pikin so abeg somebody help me explain this cos d weirdness of it all is quite confusing. Didn't know whether to call d police or R Kelly's therapist...Oooooh snap!!!!

27 comments:

Gee said...

firstttt!

Gee said...

wo hooo...i really am...like seriously..
omg!!!
i am first on this blog!!

Gee said...

*doing my igbo happy dance*

Gee said...

go fear happiness naw..loool...
I have taken first 4 spots!!

Gee said...

ok i leave now..
running late for work!!

Yinkuslolo said...

im scouting for an MC at the mo.

well, if u trust ur taste in music, then do it [for free]

Rene said...

lol @ d pre-skul butt hug.

embarrasmobile....hehe

Controversy said...

Lol baba scribbles.
FOr that woman situation, honestly first thought in my head is PERVERT ALERT. But i mean, if it's her kid though we probably should not reach so far off conclusions but who knows in this day and age o

Bubbles said...

Too soon for Al-Qaeda jokes dodo

LMAOA at your uncle offering you the car tho.!
that's not even ok.

Umm that woman is nasty as hell damn

chayoma said...

LWKMD

Oh Robby Scribbs, u wan kill me today with lafta huh?
i think u wld actually do a great job as an MC, unless u got stage fright, then that one is out of my hands oh!

As for the car, oh my word...

miss.fab said...

Lolololol! Hilarious. You should take the car now. How dare you turn down a gift! And I feel like I want to some video/audio documentation of your MC gig lol

ttlolla said...

That woman is just following the trend oo. Date boys half your age

Being a cougar might not be a bad idea but boys your sons' age is creepy

Someone call the police!!!

Tears said...

LOL!

UnderCover07 said...

Scribbs e yahh...biko tell ur uncle Dalu o, but u'll rather cruise ur leggedz-benz...lol

Well lets jst pray d woman is d mother of d boy if not....hmmm wahala dey!

Do d MC jo, its jst for a 1yr old party. U'll organize correct music for the kids n mamas n papas, u'll crack jokes in between, get d kids to play games like musical chairs, u'll mke dem line up to hit the pinata and rush for d goodies...then when its time to cut cake u'll moderate d cutting of cake/picture taking all....u go multi-task die...lol

Goodluck!!!

Miss Loré said...

LMAOO thats funny the one about the woman and the pre-schoolers butt

omg im rolling on the floor

lol ur uncle must have thought he was doing you a favour loool, awwlies poor him.

oh and don't charge ur uncle lol...thats dread

David.фаворит Бога номер-один said...

WTF? as in...you are a BIG ???
lol...you are something else...
be natural and don't force things/jokes...
talk about what's relevant and try to connect it with an old even that has to do with the celebrants/relatives or a similar situation...if you wanna make a joke out of it...
am i making sense?
and err, try not to put anyone to shame...LOL!!!
you'll be fine...

Sumptuous said...

hehehehehehe. I'm sure he thinks he is doing u a favour, collect o, so u dont seem rude. I can Imagine Mayor/Sir Robby Scribbles II cruising round blogsville in his embarassmobile. what a sight! @Gee, yes I can see u, na u carry First to fifth position.

cici said...

the woman grapping th boys butt is really creepy..eww...
lol at ur uncle car I kinda have the image of what It might look like..lol
abeg make una get over ur fear and mc ur baby cousin birthday joo that is if u like public speaking

Sumptuous said...

P.S: was it the lil girl u were chasing with a Vaccum cleaner? If yes, u berra do it.

Miss Natural said...

lol. i cant even laugh. U were waving to ur parents during the christmas carol hahahaha you were a cutely weird kid. That description was pretty weird, im trying not to imagine it, its sooo not nice. Only GOd knows what was happening. lol about the car, so u have taste enh. hehe. im not shallow, i think i'd talk to u even if I saw u driving something that ugly as per ur description lol jk...i wudnt talk to u, before they put us together lol

leggy said...

lol..i have you on my bloglist but u never show up...na wa oh.
anyway,im so glad you made me laugh oh!!!you should mc the party oh..but please dont embarassed me oh!!!and the car...ha ha ha ha ha..and the molester...i think id go for r kelly's therapist..he has enough experience as it is.

Naija bad boi.... said...

so y u dont wanna take d car eh scribbles? ur too proud ooo...lol

TaioFierce Ameen said...

lol, ur pple r lukin 4 awoof MC...lol, lol@ embarrassmobile nd d woman is big PERV neon sign alert...lol

Ms. 'dufa said...

LWKMD@your uncle's car. You could just accept it and sell it or sumthing.
The woman and the toddler is very disturbing.

exschoolnerd said...

i know u dont love me again but we need to tlk.

Anonymous said...

robby bobo! where are you?

Tisha said...

pele
its a year birthday party now
you'll be fine just make the party exciting
and make sure they have 'barney' a poppet at the party...