I was in d barbershop getting a haircut last week, it's a unisex salon so there were some women in d salon getting their hair done as well. There was a TV there and Ricki Lake was on at the time. They were talking about women who wanted to get platic surgery and as u can already imagine a major part of the show settled on breast augmentation. As you can imagine my attention was divided, on one hand I wanted to hear and see what these women had against their own boobs and on the other hand I had to keep my head still so that the Barber wudn't slice my head open with his clipper. As the show went on teh women in teh salon began to argue and I must confess that I was more irritated than interested. You'd think that hearing women talk about their boobs wud interst me but not these women oh, they managed to turn one of the most cherished appendages of a woman into a friggin science experiment. One woman, who looks like she's in her late 40's, stood up, grabbed her flappy boobs and measured it with another women's! It was hilarious and irritating I tell you. You know d problem? I cudn't leave, cos I was getting a haircut and didn't want to be seen around town looking like Mr T from The A-Team. I sat there for 30 minutes as they compared and contrasted Bra sizes, screamed at some of the women on the TV who they thot didn't need plastic surgery and concluded in unison that men shud be blamed for it all. I left that barbershop feeling abused and violated by these women.
Funniest thing happened a few days ago. Okay my Uncle was in d storage room a few days back and saw a mouse, we were sha vexed dat a mouse cud get into d storage room so I bought a mouse trap and set it at the door of the store leaving it slightly ajar. Two days later I'm in d living room, my baby cousin, 2, is runnign around d house and runs out of the living room screaming in a language I will never understand. Anyway I'm sitting there, alone in d sitting room when I hear a 'SNAP' outside d room, next thing my cousin runs into the room screaming and waddling. I ask her what teh problem is but the kid is too shaken to reply and onlfy after a while did i notice dat there was a mousetrap on one of her toes. I actaullay laughed for about ten seconds b4 taking it off. Now she must know how Jerry feels whenever Tom catches him in one of those things hehe. Thank goodness it was this oyibo type mousetrap and not those ones in naija with the jagged mouth dat look like they've been designed to catch Ojuju calaba.
Have you ever thought about the phrase 'Funny as hell'. It always makes me wonder I tell you. If we were to analyse the etymology of this word our findings wud be really bizzare if not disturbing. We shall therefore assume that a comedian journeyed to the depths of hades just to bring us this phrase. He probably did a show for all d minions of evil and just to show their appreciation they branded his jokes 'Funny as hell'. I mean the origin of this phrase is in the words itself...FUNNY AS HELL!!!
Okay I'm off to Twitter...been sitting here for about 20 minutes and bodi don dey scratch me so see u soon...I hope