Eve revealed: Okay I'm not a sexist or anything but I believe the whole wahala we r facing today started from Eve and I'll tell you why. Okay God created Adam right?, put him in charge of the garden of Eden and all dat, in my opinion I believe Adam was one chilling, intelligent handsome dude...I mean d guy was the God's first prototype! He had a job which was caretaker of Eden, a house which was Eden itself and he was good at his job. You know he named all the animals with no repition or mistakes, imagine how many animals he had to name and he didn't forget, call in sick of skip work for one day! God told Adam nt to eat 4rm the Tree of "Open eye" nd he didn't all through his time as the sole tenant of Eden. Then Eve comes along with her sexy first-woman-in-the-world-curves and messes everything up. Adam had been chillin in Eden wivout even lookin at that tree, he passed by it on his way to work, probably even sat under it for shade and never for once even considered eating 4rm it but Eve on the other had is like the first insane person ever....here's a typical non biblical interpretation of Eve's first discussion wiv Adam after God introduced them and Adam named her
Adam:"Hey babe wats up?"
Eve:"I'm cool, I like wat u've done wiv the place"
Adam:"Yea yea it's a cool crib isn't it, so wat's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" they both laugh (Adam had unrivaled charm cos he was the first man and pick up lines weren't cliched yet)
Adam:"Come let me show you around"
he gives her tour of his crib, the rivers, the fields, the different fruits and animals...every every but Eve looks curious....
"Hey U've showed me almost everything here but wat about that odd looking big tree with ripe fruits that u didn't point out to me?"
Adam pretends not to hear her and gestures her to keep walking while he sucks on a luscious looking tangerine.
"Hey Adam didn't u hear me, what about that tree in the middle of the garden? you skipped dat one"
"Oh that one, well Baba God said I shouldn't eat from that one...I didn't name it though, kinda slipped my mind since I neva actually eat from it...forget about that one let's keep walking I want to show you a trick I thought the Lion and Zebra yesterday".
She eyes the tree curious like any nagging unsatisfied wife....unknown to her the devil had noticed., what you should ask urself is "why didn't d devil tempt Adam siiiiince? afterall he would have been easier prey cos he was alone before Eve came, strategically Eve was a riskier target". Now not up to a year living as housemates with Adam and she gets both of them kicked out by God, she didn't even tell Adam where the apple was from, she just took a bite and gave Adam...the innocent creation trusted his wife and she rendered him jobless and homeless by succumbing to the exact same thing Adam had resisted...infact not resisted but ignored throughout his tenure as sole caretaker of Eden...imagine the fight Adam and Eve must have had after being evicted...lol...Adam must have been livid, imagine moving from a five start hotel to Sango Ota lol...or Karimo....Eve it's ur fault!
Mad handbag chick: One day I was on the tube seating opposite a lady wiv this big lovely bag, she was fine sha and I almost considered chatting her up....until she show me sey she dey craze!!! Her phone rang, the ringtone was Oyoyo family's song "Okoro", that one first threw me off cos I expected something a bit more tush, nothing against the song but at least make she form small!!! she opened her bag and started searching for the phone, like I said the bag big gan! she hissed and the song kept on playing annoying the crap out of me...I don dey vex cos she couldn't find the phone, the person on d other end didn't think it sensible to cut the line and Okoro was still blasting 4rm the bag. She finally found it and sighed staring at it, Okoro had stopped playing so I figured it was a missed call. She threw the phone bag in the bag and 30 seconds later the phone rang again "U play me ojoro, u call me okoro...." she started looking for the phone again...as in I was shocked, I was amazed and pissed at the same time...as in it was like a de ja vu...she rummaged through the bag again hissing and the phone was still ringin'. She found it again and answered "Hello...Temi is dat U...Temi...dis international call dey f*&k up can u hear me?" she stared at the phone and did the most mental thing as far as I'm concerned....she threw it bag in the bag, I went crazy in my head cos she was obviously mental, any sensible person would hold the phone in their hand or at least in an easily reachable place, she had spent almost a whole minute looking for the phone at first and then she threw it back in d bag...twice!!!...no be craze be dat tell me?!....and I swear no be lie the phone rang for the third time, I was getting off the train and as I was leaving i heard it again..."U play me Ojoro, U call me Okoro..." I looked at the pple around her nd I know they wished deep down inside that this was their stop...