Feed the ego

I have been instructed to inform you that Leggychukwu has moved house and now resides at
leggymoved.blogspot.com.

I was cleaning up my draft inventory when I came across the manuscript for this post, I wanted to talk about this a long time ago but I think I got distracted with my 50th post propaganda, yeah the draft is dat old. Recently, a couple of my close friends have had some unsavory experiences and running into the draft today felt quite serendipitious. Who else is more qualified to talk about the male ego than moi, a male with an ego. As I wrote this my ideas seemed to unceasing so this is only a fraction of my opnion on this matter.

We all have egos, that's pretty basic and evident, some bigger than others and some more gluttonous than required. Whether a man realises it or not he lives his life in order to please his ego and it in turn defines a substantial part of him. The ego defines the man and the way he feeds it defines the nature of the ego.

Now since the ego influences a major part of our lives it usually affects most of our decisions and actions. You want to know why a guy will continue pestering a girl even when she's rejected him so many times to the point of dejection? It's cos most male ego thrives on challenge and the possibility of conquest. Why will a married man with a loving family choose to have a jump-off on d side? it's cos risk is like adrenaline for some egos. Why will a man who knows a lady is being courted by several other men still be optimistic enough to believe he will end up with her? It's cos the ego is always starving and survives on challenges spiced with competition. Men are built to compete whether we accpet it or not, we are designed to rate ourselves with others and depending on the nature of the ego a man will either want to be more or want others to be less.

Egos can be constructive or destructive, Most men will refuse to adopt self growth and improvement and prefer to pull others below them in an attempt to appease and benchmark their ego. Egos are constructive and destructive but also subjective, this means that different men have different ego treats. Money, Cars, Clothes, Sex and Power are just some of the treats an ego can snack on. A workaholic needs to feeds is ego with success, a gigolo needs to feed his ego with women and sex, a wife beater needs to feed his ego with hurt. I had to insert the last example cos it's something which bothers and annoys me. It's pure common sense which is cloudy by unrealistic fear and dependency. If a man treats a woman worse than he treats his car, phone or job then isn't it sensible for her to realise that on his priority meter, scale of preference and/or affection bar you are less important than a phone. Do u think I'm veering of fthe subject matter? Well I'm not, cos like everything else, the ego has a role to play in this as well. Why do you think a man will pester you for months and when you finally do have sex he won't call you? Conquest. Why do u think he's cheating on you with your best friend? Risk. Why do you think he says he loves you just to get in knickers? Reward. Why do you think he won't stop bugging you even though you have a boyfriend? Challenge. I could go on for ages but I'll assume you get the point.

So how does this apply to relationships? It's quite simple, a productive ego will want to grow and improve for the partner while a destructive ego will want accept stagnation and look to reduce others. A productive ego will not compete with others but compete with itself, it will challenge itself to surpass itself and spur the man to be better as long as there's a reward in sight. A man will only envy his more successful partner because his ego demands she be the lesser of the two, A man will only hit his woman because his ego depends on a show of superiority based on force and violence, A man will always want to show love and affection because his ego will starve if he doesn't, A man will want to give his woman everything because if he doesn't his ego will be restless. I hope I'm making sense to you because this is one of those posts where I know I'm producing a nuclear amount of sense.

The idea of happiness in a relationship is bipartite and must be mutual. This post has leaned towards the male perspective and in your spare time you can talk about how to make a woman happy but the following sentence is simply the fundamental of male happiness, A productive ego must be fed and a destructive one deserves starvation.