a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Sunday, 9 August 2009

Reality TV...up yours...wiv a plunger....spiced with Suya pepper!

18:39 Posted by Sir Scribbles 26 comments
First of all, shout out to my e-sister leggychukwu on her 50th post!!!!! If u think sey e easy to do 50 posts just try reading her posts...long as hell! (pot saying something rascist to kettle lol). Congrats babe!!
As for me, as in I don't get, shey una wan make I beg una ehn? 100th post on d way, 9 posts to go, I politely asked that you send in questions you'd like me to answer, did u guys send? NO! Shey una wan sabotage my celebrations. The email addy is robbyscribbles@googlemail.com, I even paint am red for una. The idea is for the questions to be anonymous that's why I pleaded that u send dem to me by email. Shey u will send in questions? Anything, I say anything will be accepted...depending on how liberal I'm feeling lol. Big ups in advance...now to buisiness

I HATE REALITY TV!!! There's no nice way to put it but I cannot stand reality TV, I consider it a waste of cerebral disk space and a poor chronological investment. As in I can't grab d concept yet. Some celebrity decides that aside from d internet, gossip mags, their faces poppin up everytime I want to check my e-mail and elaborate sex tapes, we, the public, wud like to know how they live their everyday lives. Is it an attepmt to show us they are normal like us? You live in a million dollar mansion possibly wiv a toilet for each of R kelly's attempted comebacks and you think me, who shares toothpaste wiv four other people, and you, said multiple WC owner, are on par? I no gree! How does getting a camera to follow you while you shop, eat and go on diets u never fully commit to serve as entertainment? You want to see entertainment? Stick a camera on an average Naija dude as we navigates d perilous streets of his naija fighting d urge to kidnap his rich Uncle's daughter just so he can use d ransom money to buy a PS3 which will keep him busy during the long ass strike his University is on....that's Reality TV pple! Not a group of women under a duplex/makeshift mansion all of whom are pretending they use fork nd knives to eat at home wen we all know that in their homes table knives are like Bibles around Hugh Hefner...U never find any!

Yes my last statment was directed at Koko Duplex..I say duplex cos I was expecting something bigger, you can't deceive me wiv a swimming pool and a couple of staircases, I know what a mansion looks like, my papa no get mansion but google's resources are proof enough. You see d way naija pple carry cutlass chook dat Rita girl 4 back? Friggin hilarious! As in una no try 4 Rita, everywhere I looked I saw pple hailing d chick despite her epilepsy-indusive grammar, they were saying she was natural nd she was a sure winner cos she was d only one who was real (apparently being real goes hand-in-hand wiv setting webster's dictionary on fire). Sunday evening, I was chillin u know, keepin d sabbath day holy nd all, wen I hear dat it's dis Bolanle girl who won it. I was surprised I swear! after all d texts pple sent to the show showing support nd even comparing her grammatical inconsistencies wiv Tu-face's (who by d way only knows 2 phrases in his whole life wen he isnt in d studio, "Notin dey happen" nd "One love"). I pity d babe mehn, na dis kin thing dey turn pesin to terrorist. Imagine how she felt after d show wen she reach house nd dem tell am sey during d show na she popular pass, she'll feel sad, feelings of sadness becom feelings of betrayal, feelings of betrayal become feelings of anger, feelings of anger become urges for revenge and before you know it Osama don get en first Naija representative to Al-Qaeda on Tense, grammar and vocabulary suicide bombing!

Omo as u don read finish u go like go ur mailbox send question shey? robbyscribbles@googlemail.com. No dullin oh! we must make dis 100th post a success cos my announcement depends on it....9 posts to go...LET'S GOOOO THERE!!!


Devine said...

Dont believe it!, but oh well
thats was a good read! thanks man, made me laff!
true tho, i dont see y ppl r hailing Rita like its sm good and i'd rather the reality tv be sm real, those gilrs wer spose to be 'independent', inspiring blah blah, but mehn....
First tym here, n me likie!

UnderCover07 said...


UnderCover07 said...


-epilepsy indusive grammar
-setting webster dic. on fire
- Tuface knws only 2 phrases

Dude, this was hilarious!!!
But for real what do u want us to ask u? I honestly cnt think of anything cos u pretty much give us d gist, and u r naturally crazy so nothing surprises us anymre...lol

Rene said...


Rene said...

I can't think of any question buh if I do have would send it 2 ur mail wit immediate effect.
LWKMD....when the show started u din't murder it, it's now when it's finished, u decide to do so.

Dark Neo said...

Naija representative to Al-Qaeda on Tense, grammar and vocabulary suicide bombing!

Dark Neo said...

funny mehn! real funny!

Ebony~!* said...

Congratz on ur 100th in advance o! lol @ tuface knows only two words, i totally agree with you on reality shows being messed, those things are so scripted it's unbelievable. Il think of a question soon.

Naija bad boi.... said...

lmao...again dude...u crack me up...so koko flat is finished eh ehn?? i didnt know ooo...is the bolanle girl the fine one...?
as per question ehn? me i don know u finish naw...wetin i wan ask u again? ehn?

cutee said...

Lol @ koko duplex..yea its really a duplex nt a mansion...tinkin of a question to send.

Splash said...

i want to dedicate a song to Rita. it's titled "B.O.B" by Andre 2000.

kwwwaaa kkwwwaa kwaa! na 2baba u yap like this!? anyways *nothing dey happen*

still looking for the rightest question.

Fabulo-la said...

Epilepsy indusive grammar?

WHere the hell do u come up with these things eh scribbles?

Neo said...

lwkmd. As for Rita i jus think she are not well presentable, if she wins when those foreigners come and hear her speak they will not feel safety enough! seriously tho i was thankin God she didnt win, i would have found an ostrich and begged to stick my head in the sand with it if THAT was the representation of a Nigerian woman.

Lol at Koko Duplex! Besides i want to pitch an idea for the next reality show called "Enter the place" starring Tuface and 12 ladies, winner will be the one who doesnt get preggers. i think i'm on to something, Whaddya think?

Bubbles said...

this made ms smile...

I don't care if she was real or not...
D'banj can barely speak coherent english,how can we possible pair him with Rita who completely killed the english language *rolls eyes*

nameless said...

epilepsy indusive grammer? tuface only knows only 2 phrases?? lmao!! i agree with the tuface bit tho...

and congrats in advance- i will try and send u some questions :)


chayoma said...

Oh my gawd.
u had me rolling on the floor with laughter.
How do you come up with these things biko?
9 posts to go. that gives me time to try and come up with sensible questions.

TaioFierce Ameen said...

I'm so late...
I neva expected Rita to win after that her video... it wz as u described... setting Webster on fire.
We will pray she doesn't turn into a Osama's minion....lol.

Anonymous said...

I know ehh, I don't like reality TV either jo, why would I wanna sit down and be watching someone else live their life?..hiss

Lmao @ koko duplex..totally true though!

CultureCynic said...

ahahahahahahaha where to begin.....not suprised at his entry..........big head!!

nna mehn, my hate for reality shows no get part 2, it is getting to be too much.....when everyone pretty much can get one, why wldnt it loose it'a luster...wit all these random quasi fame whores pushing their 17mins of fame, why wld the shit not get out of hand. The fucking octomum has one....OCTOMUM.

why they insist on calling them reality show is the one that gets my hipsters up in a twist, like whose reality are these ppl hawking? anyone goin on a TV show in this day and age, knows the system enuff to be whatever that will extend that 13 minutes of fame into a 'lucrative career'....shit ain't poppin if everyone can do it. in this era where mediocrity is the limit for most people, any fame good or bad is chased by everyone. there is a market for it,everyone these days wants to feel special and represented when the truth is that not everyone is special, not everyone needs to be represented. people are too bz looking for role models in the media, that the networks have no choice but to manufacture them by force, overnight. the demand is so high and the expections so fucking low that the networks are knocking off each other shows, no originality, they know u dont care, u show them everyday by tuning in, plus reality shows are soooo cheap to produce, so it is a marketing ploy to lure the ADD viewer of noawdays into tuning in.

it is all delusions really, ppl whine but they still tune in everydday......the highest rated tv showsthese days are often reality shows. with the microwave nature of information coming in and out, networks have realized that they dont need much to convince or impress you, u r too bz downloading the big brother on your itune equipped iphone to have high expectations. they are selling mass produced tidbits of oursleves knowing that we will inevitably identify wit somethin long enuff to stick around for 60mins and watch.

someone sent me a clip of that Rita chick and J and I died laffin, but i cldnt help taking offense when people touted her as real, then it suddenly made sense, they are selling us the worst part of our selves and subtly encouraging urselves to identify wit it, dont be suprised if that babe is in her third year at Uni. and just becuz there is a Rita, does that mean every Tina and Marie should falsely identify with her even when she is misrepresenting a whole culture.

i keep saying this....not everyone is special, not everyone is interesting, not everyone can be a star...but Youtube has proven me wrong time and time again, the internet has failed to back me up over and over again, sometimes i have no choice but to weep for humanity,the de evolution is being televised.

Ms. Dufa said...

Lol@Tu face, koko duplex and a toilet for each of R.kelly's attempted comebacks. Thats a lot of toilets sha.
There's still enough time to send questions, 9 posts away, thats alot of time.

Ms. Dufa said...

Lol@Tu face, koko duplex and a toilet for each of R.kelly's attempted comebacks. Thats a lot of toilets sha.
There's still enough time to send questions, 9 posts away, thats alot of time.

Anonymous said...

lol...first of all...koko duplex...scribbles,im nt a fan but that house was big,nd they had to rent it..can u imagine how much they paid for tha house which was prolly in some gra in lasgidi?
so pleas dont fault them on that...nd when u see the inside of the house..it was big,the living room,kitchen nd ish.

and how do u know they dont have fork nd knife in their house..mehn thats just wrong.

and u no they were saying that that rita girl was in university?i learnt she is not oh...i was wondering how she managed to pass d post ume to start wiith.
you never know nigrians...they were prolly keeping her ther for the entertainment...lmao.
nd then at the end thy start thinking..bia ds stupid girl do u think u can win wt that kind english..nd sm mother voting is thinking my 6 year old daughter speaks better than u.
thanks for the entertainment but u r out.lol

and thanks for the shout out scribbles...nd dnt u dare announce tha u r nolonger annonymous..i love d mystery.

Buttercup said...

Lol dang. You're somn else! Um, this is my 1st time here so I really dunno what to ask you!

Dame Halos said...

mate!..that show was jokes...thank God rita didn't win it...i was a die hard d'banj fan before but after that show i am starting to think that hes just as razz as the likes of those that were o it....the production was bad...everything was just bad for our reputation....as in..lol..that babe just won the easiest 5 mill of her life..and a nice ride and diamond ring..ahn ahn..lucky babe....well i'd rather her than rita tbh...
koko duplex...lwkmd..i like that
someone else came up with ojoromaster (kokomaster)..
as for questions..what exactly r u looking for....any topics whatsoever yeh?..or Dr Phil kind of sturvess??...

Mcrazy said...

Oh LOL..
That was a good read!!
First time on your blog.
I never watched that thing but I did see a couple of videos on youtube though.

The whole kokoMansion was just a big JOKE.It was just piss poor to be honest but that RITA babe's "epilepsy inducing grammar" as you put it was at least funny.

Anonymous said...

make una leave rita oh! ah ah wetin? na she wey need dat money pass mehn.
una get idea how her own crayfish take bend?
big ups to bolanle sha, babe try small.

sir scribbles SIR! i hail! i dey feel ur blog die mehn. UP u!