a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Sunday, 5 July 2009

RE: Letter to Karma

08:00 Posted by Sir Scribbles 24 comments
Dear Sir Scribbles,

In response to your letter the Governors of the celestial plain as well as the house of cause and effect regret to inform you that your plea for clemency has been rejected. It is on record that on numerous occassions you have been given oppotunities for redemption and you have ignored these opportunities.

In your letter you detailed the infractions which you felt would result in the celestial organisations of balance imposing punishments on you. However, we noticed that you failed to include some specific information which also aided our decision to reject your plea. Just to bring these omitted infractions to your attention we have taken the liberty of listing a few which you may have forgotten and the alloted punishments you will receive:

In ur 2nd year you scammed your father out of 30k which was supposedly the fee for the new hostel you were allocated. The fee had already been added to your school fees which was paid in full prior to you requesting said amount from you father. The Celetial body intended on punishing you and restoring balance by wrecking the ipod you used the money to buy....but u bought another one...then we wrecked it...then you bought another...we wrecked that as well...then you bought another....we are in the process of wrecking that too until you get the message.

Throughout your undergraduate days you took advantgae of your fathers inability to keep track of his apparels and you specialised in ransacking your his wardrobe taking his shirts, ties, cufflinks and socks even though you had boxes and hangers filled with clothes. On every occasion where you were interrogated you denied and even when you confessed you only returned part of the loot. Even the cufflinks you plan to wear tomorrow are his and he doesn't know you have them. We have decided that between the age of 18 and 24 your first child will subject you to frustration by emptying ur wardrobe in weekly intervals. If you make any attempt to curtail his actions the frequency will be increased to twice in 4 days.

You failed to mention Sandra in you previos letter, we are confident that by mentioning this name you already know what your infraction was and you have a pretty good idea of what sort of punishment we will exact upon you. If you have any doubts concerning this issue we can at
least tell you that the lack of a stable liason in your present life is a preamble for things to come.

Finally we noticed that you seem to like the privacy members of you family award you at certain times. However, the House of cause and effect has it on record that not too long ago you accessed your sister's laptop in an effort to uncover the identity of the mystery person she chats with until the earlier hours of the morning. Your punishment, your mother will read your text messages at a time unknown and inconvinient to you but shocking and enlighetning to her.

Please contact us if you have any questions or complaints. You have seven days and seven nights to contact us before the decision of the board takes effect. Our lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We hope this letter finds you in good health. Thank you for your co-operation.

Yours faithfully,
Miss Karma Isa Biyatch.
Head of Operations,
Deeds Recompense Department.

24 comments:

Lady X said...

First!

Lady X said...

Yes o people I am first!

Lady X said...

Mrs Karma Isa Bitch? Seriously Scribbles? Haha! I pity you when you have your own children. Come to think of it I pity me too! So you yahoo your dad shey? Tsk Tsk lol

yinkuslolo said...

how many iPods? damn!

Karma is a bitch oh, those retributions seem lenient.

Sulihp said...

lol..lol..lol...Love it really!
i can't wait for the stories of the fun times you n lady Karma r gonna have!

na wa oh after the second i-pod accident, i wud have gone for prayers n deliverance

leggy said...

lol....okay oh....sandra????...na u no oh...

UnderCover07 said...

3rd ipod??? Wat da hell do u do to the poor things?

Hmmm...snooping thru ur sis's lappy? *shakes head* karma is def coming for ya...lol

Lol @ Miss Karma Isa Biyatch! Good one.

chayoma said...

Yahoo boy...na wetin ur papa teach u eh?
Ipod dey die for my hand like say na curse...na Zune wey man pikin dey use oh! still going strong!

tunrayo said...

lol @ Miss Karma Isa Biyatch
whats sandra's story and seriously, u better start deleting your messages before your mother finds something 'shocking'

Miss Fizzy said...

lwkm... you really went all out with this. But remember the saying... as you say it, so it shall be... or something like that.

SkinnyLegs said...

Hahaha mehn I sincerely prays karma has mercy on u....hopefully destiny keeps fucking her so well that she's too happy to give u the punishment u deserve

NaijaBabe said...

Shet they hace nabbed. Omo you are O.Y.O. All I can do is pray for you. Kai

Repressed One said...

LMAO!!! Ohhh Cheeet!!...she's definitely coming for you. I was scared for you reading that.

...but dude, you're on you FOURTH ipod? da heck?

Lolia said...

LOL @ Miss Karma Isa Biyatch

And I agree wholeheartedly with Chayoma...I love my iPod die but Zune is the way forward...

Meanwhile what if your first child is a girl? :S I'm just saying! :)

Penelope said...

lmao!!!

Rene said...

rotfl
Miss Karma Isa Biyatch....scribbles!

Tigeress said...

lol! nice one!

Tay-mee said...

lmao..you finally give the gist I ask for. Pele oh Karma really is a bitch.

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Lady X: COme 4rm ur commnet it looks like we are parteners in crime...i will be sure to attach ur name to my next email to Karma...I can't suffer alone u know lol

@Sulihp: Soulmate baby! Ipod is even a snall thing, I've used four of those nd 3 laptops...Karma isn't even suppose to punish me again cos my wallet has suffered enuf.

@Leggy: That is the one you will see Amebo

@Undercover07: YEs oh! I am not proud of it but I had to do it, you think this job is easy...anything wey kpa wiv that girl they will ask where I was wen it happened. As 4 ipods...I can't explain it

@Chayoma:My sister I actually considered that Zune oh but Ipods have better features as far as I'm concerned, andI've never actually seen a zune in london b4...weird!

@Tunramyo: DId you know ur link doesn't show up on my follower thingy,now i can come over to urs lol.I am going to appealthese decisions cos the day my mumsy goes thru my phone is the day I pack out!

@Miss Fizzy: My sister why do u want to finalise the decision ehn, i've got seven days and seven nights to appeal u know lol. Thanks for stopping by

@Skinny Legs: Anything that get her mind of my case...cos my wahala wiv her plenty I no go lie you...coming over to ursin a bit, thanks for stopping by!

@Naijababe: You have officially topped the chart on this blog u know. I will reply all you rcomments on your blog in a bit.IF karma decides to ef me up there will be nowhere to run

@Repressed one: LOL! Yes oh! I've used four ipods to date and that's what's been holding me back 4rm buying an iphone cos wiv my record I doubt apple products will live long in my hands lol

@Lolia: I think I've used ipods for so long that a ZZune wud just feel like...adultery lol...oi just don't feel dem mehn!

@Penelope: Thank you

@Rene: lol! but isn't she? she takes her job too seriously if you ask me

@Tigress:Thanks...

@Tay-mee: Yes she is oh, she atkes her job way to seriouly in my opinion...remembers stuff that happened long ago sef...d bitch!!

Naija bad boi.... said...

lmao...robby u av killed!!! lol....but come to think of it meehn...wat made c.u cool was d ability to scam ur parents easily meeehn...and dat new hostel thingy....u did it too??? lol...we even plenty sef ....mscheeewwww


lol @ miss karma isa bitch ...meeehn..u kill joo....lol

Naija bad boi.... said...

and dude...serzly...and wats up wiv my j-o-b naw??? u've changed ur own page now oo.....am waiting!!!!!

Brokeass said...

LMAO!
Miss karma Isa Biyatch??
I like that.

ANd dude! How many Ipods did u go through??

You went through your sisters laptop???!!!

your own is DEF coming.
loool!

CultureCynic said...

hahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha she told you!!!!!! LMAOOOOOOOOOO serves u right .....u better have sent in an appeal o....hahahahahh this is tooo much, u r too much, u berra settle that Biyatch before she wrecks everything u touch and pls refrain from contacting me directly or writing on my blog until further notice, dont want ur karma curse getting deposited on my space. love you from a distance.......
hehehe

Lady Koko said...

buhhahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!! looooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!!!! am actually getting scared...I WONDER IF THIS IS HOW JUDGEMENT DAY IS.......the angels list your sins and you stand there trying to deny it..THEN SUDDENLY A SCREEN COMES DOWN AND U WATCH UR TREACHEROUS LIFE ON EARTH.......its all been documented....ISHHHHHHH,,,,,,scary shit mehnnnnnn