"BLACK IGBO BOY KILLS BABY COUSIN WHILE BIDDING ON EBAY!!!"
The UK is officially the most meteorologically cursed country on the face of the planet! Last week they said it was a heat wave, pple were on the streets in their underwear cos it was so friggin hot, I was sweating like I was selling it. This week they say it's going to be rainy, it's been raining like all the gods of Olympus just came back 4rm a binge drinking session. It's rainy right now sef....Oh and looky here...it's stopped!....are u kidding me?....the sun is out....WTF!!!! Make up ur friggin mind abeg...it's like there's some dude in space wiv a big weather console just playing wiv d switches...rain, sun, snow, rain, snow..NONSENSE!!!
You know that job I told u guyz I was writting exams for, well I wrote another one yesterday, passed it as well lol...one more to go b4 I can take my bank account off the diet I put it on. You remember the naija dude I told you about last time i went for the exam? D one who said he didn't understand how pple failed the exam cos it was so easy and eneded up failing himself? Well I met him again, we wrote the same exam....he failed again...dis time I wasn't laughing in my mind. I actually felt sorry for him. This exams costs £200, that's $321 or N52ooo...no one shud laugh about losing that kind of cash in times like dis.
After church on sunday a friend told me that some woman in church proposed something to him. She has about 4 daughters and she told him that if he ever wanted to get married she knew a nice chick who wud be perfect. I asked him if he cud get a buy one get one free offer. Don't judge me please...The woman was obvioulsy having a sale lol.
Everyday I step out of this house something bloggable happens, the other day I was ogled by a 40+ woman, b4 that I ran into a man who thot I was an illegal immigrant, today a mad man wanted to fight me...literally. I was just chilling at the bus stop...u know now...I no dey find trouble...on my own at the bus stop and I sight this mad man screaming and running down the road...he bumps into one woman...then he runs towards me...tries to push me but I side step....cos I've got mad reflexes u know...like an Igbo Tai Chi warrior u know...u know...i digress...I had a bag wiv a phone I'd just bought in it...I swear if he'd tried to push me again I'd have used that phone nd nokiaed his insane ass mehn! I was already having a bad day so mad or not you'd get served...
Did I tell you that my Uni says I have to take an english exam as a criteria for my PgD and Msc.? They say it's a new requirement for international students...I say they are mad! I've submitted multiple "thousandly" worded essays and they say I shud take an english exam. They say there's no exeption..I say they are mad! Maybe they heard me speaking pigin in the common room? I shud just give them a link to my blog and have them test that...tellin me I can't speak english...they are just mad!
I'm going away 4 d weekend, Leeds on friday till Monday...it's a chillathon where all we do is just chill. I feel guilty u know, I've got a paper due and other annoying stuff but I no go kill myself abeg...I need a weekend of pure chillin
written on the fly....