a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Thursday, 2 July 2009

Letter to Karma...

07:01 Posted by Sir Scribbles 16 comments
normal service has resumed.....

D
ear Oga/Madam Karma,

I no sey I don eff up nd you are just waiting to mess me up in the not too distant future. However, I wud like to use to medium to formally confess nd apologise for testing the Demi-gods of cause nd effect and action and reaction. These are some of the things I think you have on record...

I know you remember this one very well, it's the beginning of second year in Uni, I'd just returned 4rm the summer hols in Jand nd had just acquired a New, fresh, shinny Toshiba Laptop. I cared for her and took her everywhere...Lectures, Restaurants...wherever I went Matilda was wiv me. Me and the boyz use to watch movies wiv her, we played Pro Evolution wiv her, she even helped us wiv assignments...she was our entertainment hub and the glue that held our sanity together in that insane skool. Then one day, in the process of some "agbaya" rough play, someone threw a plastic bottle at me...I ducked and it missed me...but not Matilda. The bottle flew past me and hit her screen nd she went blind. The screen had broken and I was left wiv one painful task....I had to tell Daddy! Now this is where I entered your black book Karma shey? You remember the conversation?...ofcourse you do! I told my Dad I was on my way to the library when it started raining, I was drenced and in an attempt to reach the library quickly I had started running, tripped on the walkway and fallen on the gravelly floor. I told him that in that moment of haste towards academic enlightenment the laptop and fallen to the floor and the screen shattered....He believed me...cos he trusted me. Come to think of it you have already punished me for it sef what am I saying...cos Dad believed me but still made me to use the laptop like that till I finished 3rd year...I used that half-screen laptop for two years nd in that period the battery stopped charging and the speakers blew...it was more like a Television on mute for eternity cos weneva NEPA took light (lol) the lappy wud go off immediately! The same friends who dey always hang around wen Matilda was in good shape now turned around to scorn us...P'sy-A-wana I'm looking at you!!!!

Karma, this one I know u r planning to repay me in full. Final year, their hitting us wiv so many graduation bills that it just feels like were being robbed legally...like blackmail sef..."If you don't pay you don't graduate" they told us. So I calculated the amount of money I owed and needed to pay in order to gradutae...wasn't even up to 25k My Papa don suffer u know...the bill was 25k and I told d man 36,730...cos if I had just said 36k d man might have suspected lol. He gave me the money as usual, trustingly, naively and ignorantly...I can't even remember what I spent the "balance" on. Madam Karma please forgive me...cos I have a feeling you have programmed my children to scam me into poverty wen their turn comes lol

I have one sister....just one oh! No spare, No substitue or replacement. Infact Karma dis one is not a crime cos it's natural for me to not want some low-life, irresponsible sod claiming to like her while she was just in secondary skool to come into her naive life and messed things up. This guy don dey disturb my sister siiiince! It's getting annoying, he's calling everyday and she never answers, he texts every hour and she deletes them...it's pathetic. One day he calls, she checks the caller ID and looks at me wiv the most pathetic pleading expression on her face, I snatch the phone 4rm her nd in a moment of sheer genius and brilliance in acting I answer....

click...

Robby: Hello...

Idiot:.....

Robby: Hellooooo.....

Idiot: Emmm....can I speak to Chalene?

Robby: Who is this please?

Idiot: It's Obnoxious sod

Robby: Well My daughter is not around right now

Idiot: OOOh! Good Morning Sir...

Robby: Yes Yes how are you?

Idiot: Fine Sir, I just wanted to know if she was around?

Robby: Well she isn't, she's getting ready to write her WAEC and I wudn't want her to be disturbed or distracted...

Idiot: No problems Sir, Thank you Sir...Bye Bye Sir

Robby: Yes Bye bye!!!

click!!!

Karma...I can only imagine wat you have in store 4 me!

Yours sincerly,
Sir Scribbles II

16 comments:

cerberus said...

laugh wan kill me die.

You're something else Robbie Scribbz,
something else.

Tay-mee said...

lol..ahhh scribbs ur children will deal with you as per the money ish..lol.. But wait oh you didnt tell us how karma punished you for these things..lol yes im looking for gist

CultureCynic said...

lol......"karma is a uh... depending on how u dress her"

such a bad bad bad boy u were scamming your poor dad like that.....and for him to trust u like that....Karma has come to collect her dues, now u r aplogizing....mehn u better man the fuck up and take it like a man....all this appealing and appeasing is not going to save you o...cry me a fucking river. ahahahaha and to think of the otehr ish u did....ariars dont reach now..ahahahahahahahhaahhahaha no sympathy here love, u r going to have to live thru it, hopefully u get a better dressed karma with an alchohol problem so maybe all u need to butter her up is a shopping trip and cheap wine.

o and p.s i c that the CC influence have donw away wiv the ubitiquous "firsting", gotta love it!!

Brokeass said...

ha ha ha ha!
your own is DEF coming.

Shoot abi all of us should go and beg madam Karma?
lool!

Rene said...

LWKM! karma never disappoints so even if you beg her she will still do her work

leggy said...

lol...i cnt wait...no sorries to karma...i dnt think karma is going to hold u responsible or that guy though.

UnderCover07 said...

No be only u Karma go repay...lol.

I cnt remember how many times I doubled the prices of txtbooks in Uni then, and in sec sch the fee for excursion was always higher than requested.

That boy must frozen in his tracks thinkin he was talkn to ur Pops...lol.

Penelope said...

omg u scammer!! :(
May God help u oh.
Why won't karma look for u now ehn? How has karma even punished u? come and finish wat u started or explain this post better. I fail to understand really.

Adaeze said...

Lol!
There are so many things in this post that makes me laugh I don't even know which one to bring out , lol.
Your haste towards academic enlightenment, Mathilda, Idiot; Its obnoxious sod. Hahahahaha

thank you Scribbles, really. You done make my day. Sorry for not coming around lately my life has been crazy.

tunrayo said...

i cant LOL cos i'm at work. doing this silent laugh thing thats making my eyes water. you're simply hilarious.

i'm with brokeass on dis one, we shud be begging madam karma, maybe she will reduce our punishment.

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Cerberus: Thank you very much...gald you liked it

@Tay-mee: Mehn I know my dear, my kids will bleed me dry won't they. Karma has't started yet which is wat scared the shit out of me

@Culture Cynic: Don't get ahead of yourself young lady I simply snapper out of my sulking state. Wudn't you be happy to see karma deal wiv me...nd here I was thinking you loved me ehn!

@Brokeass: AAH! U sef don commit shey...Karma has ur number my dear so better join me in writting a formal letter of apology

@Rene: See u oh! U dat doens't think cheating is all dat bad, wen Karma comes 4 u the whole celestial plane won't be able to hide you

@Leggy: No insults today...are we losing our touch. You and CC are d same, u just want to see wat karma will do to me shey...God pass una nd even karma sef

@Undercover07: Ha! My partner in crime, I have celestial stamps if you are interesetd in writting a letter as well..as 4 dat boy...Karma sef knows I was being gud

@Penelope: All of u jst want me to get hurt by Karma shey? God pass una oh!

@Adaeze: Glad I cud be off servie to you! U will stand as a witness to my good deed wen Karma calls me to the stand oh!

@Tunrayo: Abeg don't even laugh cos it is serious business mehn! cos if karme vex pple will be in deep shit mehn!

blogoratti said...

Karma, ah it never seems to disappoint mehn..
Ain't no begging for that one.

NaijaBabe said...

Oh dear Lord...You have killed me this afternoon.
For your sis, I think Madam Karma might chill cos in a way, you are looking out for her but as for the one with popsi, dude, YOU ARE IN FOR IT.

Night Watcher said...

LmFao!
Ahh Karma is gonna catch you by the balls. Excuse my language, buh yay better be ready. Lol! Buh i have to confess, even I too am scared of karma eh, all those ppl that will like you and you will rudely tell them off. Yey! Dont even judge me jo. Im sure you've all done it. *sighs*
I luved the phone thing, I swear I can say that's the same thing my bro would do. Elder o, junior o same story. Lol.

Sir Scribbles II said...

@blogarrati: lol...instead of you to join me in prayers dude!...all of u just want bad bad tinzz to happen to me

@Naijababe: Karma has to chill jo, i had to look out d my sis, if I didn't who wud

@Nightwatcher: Ah so it's both of us who are in Karma's black book...u sef don get letter lol! cos wen she comes to collect u gatz pay up

P'sy-A-wana said...

y did it have to be me u mentioned ehn not naija bad boi or spraykus, jengbe e.t.c guy u funny die