a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Friday, 31 July 2009

Yeah I know...I don mad finish

13:28 Posted by Sir Scribbles 24 comments
When I dey naija dancing was easy, I wasn't an awesome dancer o, I wasn't one of those dudes who pulled moves that made pple gather in a circle around them but dancing was relatively easy for me. I was either dancing d' Yahoozee or some other personal conconction of mine. So imagine how I felt when I reach jand and after spending a few weeks in skool I am socially required to learn how to Skank both migraine-wise and tribally and do the head shoulders knees and toes dance. When I dey primary skool I knew exactly how to dance to the "Head shoulders Knees and Toes" song cos the tempo was alot slower and Mr. Hassan had a big bamboo stick to motivate us (Mr. Hassan, the Devil's right hand man sent to earth to flog primary 3green students like sey we theif en Kunu). Now they've turned that sweet nursey song into something my brain and my joints can't assimilate and let me not even start wiv the skanking cos I only got as far as touching my head nd my heels...every other step after that was lost in translation.

Wiv d way technology is going I think I have a fairly vivid image of the future we are heading towards. Something in the nearest future, Microsoft, which will then be called Scibblesoft, will design virtual women whose sole purpose in life is to operate based on songs by the Ying Yang twins...*wide grin* They'll come wiv settings like "To the window", "To the wall", "To the sweat drip down my *bleep*...

Can you just imagine how much nookie the first men to invent pickup lines would have gotten? Sure pickup lines are cliched now but imagine the effect they had centuries ago. I can imagine some dude in 19BC sights one fiiiine babe of Camelot and the following convo follows:

19BC lucky bastard: Hey, what art poppin?

Cammy chick: Nothin mucheth, Tis just me chillineth

19BC lucky bastard: So whateth tis a fair maiden like thyself doin in a place such as this?

Cammy chick: Well sir, I have found mineself chillingeth wiv my maidenfriends, tis a maiden's night out we are havingeth

19BC lucky bastard: Tis quite interesting, I was wondering, can thee give me directions to thine heart cos I seemeth to have lost mine way in thine eyes

Cammy chick: OOOH cease that kind sir, fair praises will get thee nowhere wiv mineself. Tis in my opinion thou sayest that to all the maidens of camelot

19BC lucky bastard: On the contrary I hath sayeth this in truth and if thou was to blesseth me with thine touch I can proclameth to mine comrades that an angel hath touched me

Cammy chick: Tis quite a soothing tongue thou hath, meeteth me at No. 3 excalibur street and this fair maiden shall showeth thee the vile and unholy things that are possible wiv it.

Therefore:
Scribbles law of coitus: (SS+P) * TT =
NK as long as P remains constant
where SS= Sir Scribbles
P=Pickup lines
TT= Time travel
NK= Unlimited Nookie


24 comments:

NaijaBabe said...

my rightful place...what do u mean?

NaijaBabe said...

My dear sir, thou art finally lost all thy senses. Pray thee sir, art thou swine flu prone...

I cant do this mehn...I found urs harder to read than my shakespeare. You are on a next level

Let me teach u how to skank...this is coming from a students who spends the night in the library and half of that night is spent learning the latest skank, with an equally crazy friend. You dont want to hear my library night tales mehn!!

Bubbles said...

SECOND

The experiences of an achiever....... said...

lol!!
Sir Scribbles thy dialogue with the maiden of Camelot maketh mine sides ache.My being is possessed with laughter,and peals as such ringeth out!
rotflol! first time on here. I tried with my Old english.No?

Bubbles said...

LMAO.!!!
JOKES
this made me laugh and i am at work
hehe

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Naijababe: Swine flu? I don't roll like dat mehn! I swear I've tried to learn skanking and I 've giving up, my excuse is that I'm too old to be memorising dance routines lol. If u are still willing to try nd I'm up for it

@TEOAA: Mehn ur name is loooong oh lol. Hope ur kool wiv my abbreviation/ LOL u tried mor ethan me sha, I was just adding "eth" at the end of everything. COme back again oh

@Bubbles: LOL. I didn't send you oh, If u r caught I will deny the heck out of you

NaijaBabe said...

Up down, left, right left....bring it on!
Date and time...lessons last for 3 hours

CultureCynic said...

ewwwwww i better not catch u skanking..or swag surfing or any other rubbish dance for that matter.ewwwww dont be a bloody commoner Robertford!!!:P


LOL...nna mehn ishi adigi nma at all at all... u have mad cow disease...next time my parents think i am a weirdo, i will show them this blog ...it will make me look like Angel Sanetana in their mind.

UnderCover07 said...

LWKM ....Lol @ CC sayin u have mad cow disease!

Dude, how ur mind dey waka sef? U think of the craziest ish, and jst sprinkle some Scribbledust and mke it all kinda mke sense.

Welldne u hear.

chayoma said...

atleast you know,
so i don't have say anything then!

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Naijababe: U know 3hrs will not be enuf and that's if I'm even willing to humiliate myself infront of you

@CC: Have no fear, even if I wanted to my joints aren't flexibile enf to do anything more strenous than a typicla yahoozee...U sef can u dance? I remember u saying u cud...I don't belive you btw. Hey Hey Hey...no dey call me names biko, Mad cow disease is not flattering you know nd I know I'm crazy don't worry, sometimes I read my own posts nd wonder

@Undercover07: Undervocer ur own is getting worse than mine u know? The fact that you think it makes sense means me and you are operating on the same frequency...scary right?

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Chayoma: No u don't my dear..I know sey i don dey crase

Rene said...

true talk to don mahd finish
nw i'm high

Chari said...

ur crace jus start naa...loool...loved this one!

Dark Neo said...

I hereby dub thee, Duke of WishfulNookington, Sir blogsalot of senselesshire

bob-ij said...

Scribbles...so my entire household wants to kill me because of how loud I'm laughing...showeth me the way to thine heart?? lol Umm yes the madness is definitely here! Lol @ the skanks..being that I'm going to be in England this fall, I better learn all these...migrain-wise I'm good.. TRIBAL?? no clue! As for Headz... I got that! And Scribblesoft..ok!
x!

leggy said...

lol...that was really funny..and the stanky leg also affected me when i got here i was lke huh?...new dance steps everyday..lol.
and thenn the pick up lines...lol

rayo said...

rotflmao

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Rene: my dear i know i don dey crase

@Chari: Thanks o! My crase no start today

@Dark Neo: Nice one oh, u dey feel like person wey dey knight me shey?

@Leggy: Lol thanks babe. I have given on all those steps b4 i give myself polio

@rayo: thanks

Yinkuslolo said...

Robby, how art thou douest?

e be like say u don mentaleth.

Tay-mee said...

Dude pray tell why dost thou shakespearen english suck so bad?? Lol..sir willy would be very upset. Would thou appreciate lessons from this fair maiden right hurr?

Qube The Wordsmith said...

SMH...Dude u r off ur rocker!!!

G-FUNC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
african beauty said...

scribbles law of coitus ....i wonder what transpires in thy head....thou is definitely inane and insane