My mama supposed kill me...

Mehn I have a lot of catching up to do, when I was glued to my laptop una no dey update blog o! But wen Sir Scribbles steps out for just three days everyone comes out to update. Well I have opened all your blogs in seperate windows here and even if it takes the whole day I will read dem all...just need to get a can of redbull first. Anyway, I just had a couple or my usual random flashbacks and realised that I don do my Mama strong tin many times. My Popsy hasn't even experienced half d crap I've put my Mum through sef. These are just a couple of the incidents I have had wiv my mum:

Mumsy was coming over to London on business and three days after arrving she'd be off to Italy and a week after that she'd have to be in Istanbul. Trips like this aren't new to me and I know my repsonsibilities when she needs to make them. I'm supposed to meet her at the Airport wen she flies in from Naija, meet her at the airport again wen she flies back into London from Italy, and finally follow her to the airport on her way back to Naija from London. Now you'd expect that after a while I'd have familiarised myself wiv d flight times and known when I shud leave d house to meet her at the airport so she doesn't have to wait for me right? Well this time I didn't and wen she arrived in London 4rm naija she ended up waiting at the airport for me for 2 hours, then wen she flew back in 4rm Italy I was late again...dis time she waited 3 hrs. LOL! you shud have heard d phonecall on those two occassions, as in she was mental and raping so many things In Igbo that I actually think there's an Igbo phrase for "this is fucking irresponsible".

On another occasion she came to visit us and my younger sister had gone to work leaving me at home alone. Mumsy called and said she was five minutes away so I arranged the sitting room and did all smal small arrangements to make the place look presentable at least. I stood by the window in the sitting room staring outside and wen I saw the car slowly making it's way up to our house I walked out to greet my lovely mother. As she emerged from the car I stepped out of the house with my arms aloft and as we hugged and exchanged greetings, the love permeating both of us, the front door slowly shut itself wiv a softly audible and sabotaging 'click'. Mumsy looked over my shoulder at the door then back at me and asked, wiv a smile on her face, "Do you have the key?", No reponse "OMG! You don't have d key?", my silence was enough acknowlegdement. Love vanished, smiles faded and all was replaced wiv piercing maternal glares, insensate igbo-worded castigation, a snickering cab driver and a very a awesome looking anambara boy jumping in through the sitting room window.

Finally, and most recently I was booking a flight for her online (come to think of it all these incidents are coonecetd to air travel in some way...pattern?), anyway I was booking a flight for her and because I'm used to fillnig out forms and application online wiv my name I ended up using her card to book a flight for her to Italy wiv me as the passenger instead of her. I realised this mistake 3 seconds after confirming payment for 'MR ROBERT's' ticket and I gave a short yelp, she asked what the problem was, I said my charger shocked me lol. I immdiately went to cancel the flight hoping that since it has just booked a few seconds ago I cud still change it but it's at times like dis that I hate technology. They cancelled the flight alright and I booked another one feeling like a problem solver only for her to check her balance online and see dat the airline had charged her twice for the same ticket lol. She asked me what happended...I lied, she was absolutely livid and then called the airline. They told her the first deduction was for the ticket of a "Mr Robert Scribbles" but it had been cancelled and the fee was non-refundable, they told her to read their terms and conditions but they had lost her at "Mr. Robert"...her attention and anger had now switched from the Airline to said owner of cancelled ticket.