When I dey naija dancing was easy, I wasn't an awesome dancer o, I wasn't one of those dudes who pulled moves that made pple gather in a circle around them but dancing was relatively easy for me. I was either dancing d' Yahoozee or some other personal conconction of mine. So imagine how I felt when I reach jand and after spending a few weeks in skool I am socially required to learn how to Skank both migraine-wise and tribally and do the head shoulders knees and toes dance. When I dey primary skool I knew exactly how to dance to the "Head shoulders Knees and Toes" song cos the tempo was alot slower and Mr. Hassan had a big bamboo stick to motivate us (Mr. Hassan, the Devil's right hand man sent to earth to flog primary 3green students like sey we theif en Kunu). Now they've turned that sweet nursey song into something my brain and my joints can't assimilate and let me not even start wiv the skanking cos I only got as far as touching my head nd my heels...every other step after that was lost in translation.
Wiv d way technology is going I think I have a fairly vivid image of the future we are heading towards. Something in the nearest future, Microsoft, which will then be called Scibblesoft, will design virtual women whose sole purpose in life is to operate based on songs by the Ying Yang twins...*wide grin* They'll come wiv settings like "To the window", "To the wall", "To the sweat drip down my *bleep*...
Can you just imagine how much nookie the first men to invent pickup lines would have gotten? Sure pickup lines are cliched now but imagine the effect they had centuries ago. I can imagine some dude in 19BC sights one fiiiine babe of Camelot and the following convo follows:
19BC lucky bastard: Hey, what art poppin?
Cammy chick: Nothin mucheth, Tis just me chillineth
19BC lucky bastard: So whateth tis a fair maiden like thyself doin in a place such as this?
Cammy chick: Well sir, I have found mineself chillingeth wiv my maidenfriends, tis a maiden's night out we are havingeth
19BC lucky bastard: Tis quite interesting, I was wondering, can thee give me directions to thine heart cos I seemeth to have lost mine way in thine eyes
Cammy chick: OOOH cease that kind sir, fair praises will get thee nowhere wiv mineself. Tis in my opinion thou sayest that to all the maidens of camelot
19BC lucky bastard: On the contrary I hath sayeth this in truth and if thou was to blesseth me with thine touch I can proclameth to mine comrades that an angel hath touched me
Cammy chick: Tis quite a soothing tongue thou hath, meeteth me at No. 3 excalibur street and this fair maiden shall showeth thee the vile and unholy things that are possible wiv it.
Therefore:
Scribbles law of coitus: (SS+P) * TT = ∞ NK as long as P remains constant
where SS= Sir Scribbles
P=Pickup lines
TT= Time travel
∞ NK= Unlimited Nookie
Wiv d way technology is going I think I have a fairly vivid image of the future we are heading towards. Something in the nearest future, Microsoft, which will then be called Scibblesoft, will design virtual women whose sole purpose in life is to operate based on songs by the Ying Yang twins...*wide grin* They'll come wiv settings like "To the window", "To the wall", "To the sweat drip down my *bleep*...
Can you just imagine how much nookie the first men to invent pickup lines would have gotten? Sure pickup lines are cliched now but imagine the effect they had centuries ago. I can imagine some dude in 19BC sights one fiiiine babe of Camelot and the following convo follows:
19BC lucky bastard: Hey, what art poppin?
Cammy chick: Nothin mucheth, Tis just me chillineth
19BC lucky bastard: So whateth tis a fair maiden like thyself doin in a place such as this?
Cammy chick: Well sir, I have found mineself chillingeth wiv my maidenfriends, tis a maiden's night out we are havingeth
19BC lucky bastard: Tis quite interesting, I was wondering, can thee give me directions to thine heart cos I seemeth to have lost mine way in thine eyes
Cammy chick: OOOH cease that kind sir, fair praises will get thee nowhere wiv mineself. Tis in my opinion thou sayest that to all the maidens of camelot
19BC lucky bastard: On the contrary I hath sayeth this in truth and if thou was to blesseth me with thine touch I can proclameth to mine comrades that an angel hath touched me
Cammy chick: Tis quite a soothing tongue thou hath, meeteth me at No. 3 excalibur street and this fair maiden shall showeth thee the vile and unholy things that are possible wiv it.
Therefore:
Scribbles law of coitus: (SS+P) * TT = ∞
where SS= Sir Scribbles
P=Pickup lines
TT= Time travel
∞