a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Friday, 15 May 2009

Pilot Episode: Robby Scribbles and....

15:33 Posted by Sir Scribbles 10 comments
The "Robby Scribbles and..." series is a collection of short stories (I'm not promising anything lol) which I consider very interesting and worth writting about, they are simple true events which I believe will test my ability to carry a story, it may give you insight into the way my mind works or it may just nodge you closer to the evidnet conclusion that I am just a nutcase lol, don't expect me to talk about politics or the recession o! I bring you gist that will lighten the mood even at the cost of my dignity lol..enjoy!

Robby Scribbles and....

That White powder...It's 2:25pm I'm all alone at home and I'm hungry, not the generic hunger that plagues us all, this one was different...this one made me dizzy, gave me a headache and made me cranky as well. There's no lack of raw materials in the kitchen but wiv a brother's lack of kitchen expertise it's no good to anyone. I marinate in anguish for a few more minutes and decide it's time to take matters into my own hands, it can't be that hard, I've seen them do it a thousand times, in my inventory are a pot, a few cups of rice and water from the tap....wat's d worse that cud happen. It's boiling in the kitchen and I'm starving and anxious in the sitting room, little things start to annoy me, the sound from the TV...I turn it off, the noise from cars passing by...I shut the window, the subtle hum from my laptop...I'm face to face with death by starvation and I'm still on facebook. I check the rice, I've heard her say something about washing it, I wash it, put it on the stove again and stand there till I think it's ready, something is missing, she always sprinkled salt on the rice before it was done...or was it after?...can't really remember. I rifle through the cabinets and find a lil container wiv the white powder, I sprinkle it on the rice and stir, the bowl of stew goes flying into the microwave wiv such ferocity that I disgust myself, the loud 'PING!' of the microwave receives a riotous applause in my head. I scoop as many pieces of meat as my eyes can locate and the big plate of Rice and stew looks like the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, my stomach lurches me to the dinning table and I'm sitted and geared up with my utensil before I realise I haven't said a prayer...I close my eyes for a few seconds which feel like ages, the aroma from the grub before me disrupts my show of gratitude to the almighty. I send the spoon flying into the heap and the mixture of red and white that it reaps causes a slight dribble in my mouth. The wait is over and the faint friction between my teeth and the metal spoon affirms it....My tongue is the first to protest, the message is sent to my brain which orders a complete regurgitation, the tongue obliges and I stare at the messy heap with disdain, what is this awful taste I ask myself? I retrace my steps 4rm the bag of rice to the bowl of stew...no evidence of foul play...I check the utensils and I even check the tap water for contamination...nothing! Then I check the cabinet and pull out the container of white powder, looks normal to me...I place a finger in the white mass and it's texture is disparate from what I expected, I lick my finger in curiosity and the answer is evident and very painful...SUGAR!!!

10 comments:

Zena said...

LWKM!!!!!

Lol, excited about the series, this was pure comedy, loved it!!!!

Miss Natural said...

eya, lol...u must have been hungry to mistake the sugar for salt. pele lol

jen said...

lol....y am i not surprised...did u end up havin a jam sandwich...lol

exschoolnerd said...

olodo!!!

robby and the white powder..someone's been watching too much CHUCK..

robby u fall mai hand...u no fit cook rice! ha!

G-FUNC said...

hmmm....you made a couple of mistakes,the corrections;

"......the subtle hum from my laptop....I break it"

"the answer is evident and painful....SHAVING POWDER"

naija shawty said...

-haha, for two consecutive times i attempted taking cereal, i put salt
instead of sugar. damn! i was pissed

-buh dis one wey u no sabi cook. agbaya buh u be boy sha

Confessions of a London gal said...

LMAO!!!
Na which kain container you pour the salt in the 1st place?!
I was laughing like a mad person when i read this post!

Chi-Chi said...

lmao
ah ah rice isn't that hard to make now
hehhehe

UnderCover07 said...

LWKM ooooooooooo Oga Scribbs! How u come put Sucre for inside rice...lol

Anonymous said...

i dunno why, but i tot it was going to be baking soda or flour or something.... lol