a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Thursday, 21 May 2009

Another tour of Scribblenation

11:22 Posted by Sir Scribbles , , , , , , , , 10 comments
For those of you not familiar wiv Scribblenation it's a name I gave the way my mind works and its entirety as articulatly random construct. My mind works in a very arbitrary way and these are just some of the thoughts I was able to scribble for you to read before they were replaced by other random thoughts. Being a bit open minded, less critical and more objective may help you enjoy this post even more...

I was wiv some friends a few days back and they were all having a go at Michelle Willimas coz she wasn't singin gospel anymore and had moved back into the secular zone. They said she was a hypocrite and she wasn't doing well that's why she decided to return to the musical form of her fellow siblings of destiny. I told them not to lay into the chick too much jo cos she wasn't the first....See Ma$e for instance, the friggin guy had a church 4 crying out loud, every sunday pple wud dress up and carry their bibles to his church, listen to him preach, receive salvation, pray for miracles and give offerings only to find out that their pastor and general overseer was rocking the G-Unit bling wiv Mr. Ferrari himself. Imagine how they felt, some pple wud lose faith in the religion altogether just cos of what he did. Imagine a family who missed church on sunday, the following week parents have gone to work and kids are at skoool, in the evening during family hour Popsy is flicking through the channels on TV and passes MTv base, all of a sudden he stops and flicks back cos he just saw his pastor screaming G-G-G-G-G-Unit wiv a booty shaking mama on his lap! That family will go pagan so fast Angels in heaven won't even notice. Then there's the case of Mr. R-Fiesta singin-Girl scout lovin-Kelly, Mr Kelly has switched sides so many times that heaven is running out of erasers. Today he's had an epiphany and can't do wivout our lord and then 2moro he's doing a collabo wiv Yung Jeezy about hustlin and trappin. Don't get me wrong I'm not judging any of these pple or the music they make, my ipod playlists will prove that, but it's very confusing when pple go clubbin on saturday night and dance to "Thoia thoing" and "Rewind that" then on sunday they go for third service and the choir is singin "Spirit" during d worship session lol!

Everytime I put on the news channel I see Obama wiv a new wrinkle on his forehead, there's always one group of pple opposing his ideas and opinions, there's always someone criticising him and his policies. I bet Bush is sitting down in his sitting room wiv d remote in his hand smiling and saying "Shey u think sey e eazy, oya solve d problem now! U dey shout YES WE CAN shey, u think sey na beans!" Throughout the campaign I'm sure Oga Obama thot it'd be easy, if he didn't then I'm sure he didn't think it'd be dis hard. McCain must be breathing a sigh of relief, that old man would not have lasted 3 months in dat office wivout doctors prescribing heart medicine. I was just imagining the inauguration day, Bush was just waiting for everyone to finish giving their speeches and the entertainment to be over it, then he pulls Obama to one side and slaps a bunch of keys into his hands saying "Okay dude these are the keys to all d bedrooms, the oval office and the presidential attic, take care of the house o! By the way I messed up the economy, started a war I can't finish and made a bunch of international enemies but they're just hating cos America's flossin', lock up wen u r done....Peace!" I just pray he does well while in office and doesn't fall the hand of the whole black race (even though he's mixed) cos if Obama venture-try-think of messing up black pple can kiss the the white house goodbye until all d white pple leave us here and migrate to the moon.

So it's official , I can't use the word Swag or swagger anymore, the term has been so badly molested and battered that I can't use it in public anymore wivout a personal social infraction, Everywhere you look pple are attaching swag to their sentences, pple are sticking prefixes and suffixes around the word so much it's giving Wole Soyinka a migraine, every facebook status has got a swag tag, who do I blame, I blame Mo Hits, DJ Khaled and co. and most of all Limewire lol. There use to be a time wen if you said the word swagger in a conversation pple had to start flippin dictionaries and ransacking google, now U say Swa' and 20 pple echo "Swagger". Pple who have it don't say it except their using it to make money like Naeto C and co. If you have to say it before it is noticed then I'm sorry but u r not in possession of any form, manner, type or prototype of swagger!

So the song is Fokasibe ehhhhn! as in I created a playlist, put only this song in it and set it on repeat, I've heard pple using the slang a couple of times but never bothered, one day I was curious and youtubed d tune...it took me 15 seconds to get hooked, i played it all through the night and sang it all through the next day, I'm vacuuming d room, Fokasibe! I'm blogging, Fokasibe! I'm taking a shower, Fokasibe! Manchester United won d league 4 d third year in a row tellin Liverpool to kiss monkey butt, Fokasibe! I sha like d song nd I'm beggin pple not to overkill the slang o! We're already mourning the death of "swagger" so leave "Fokasibe" for the more considerate folk please!

Mehn dudes who use cheesy pick up lines are killing us, don't they realise their making the job harder for us guyz who try to be more creative. Theoretically, you can't sweep a girl of her feet if she's crouching on the floor wiv her hands over her ears cos some lame broda said something like "Your daddy must have been a baker, 'cause you've got a nice set of buns"or "Baby, somebody better call God, cuz he's missing an angel!". C'mon guyz you are strengthening their immune system, before you can chat up a chick these days u need a degree in human psychology, they see us comin 4rm a mile away and are already running through about 50 standard cheesy pick up lines in their heads. Brodas please help the specie and lay off the crappy pick up lines please, I won't suggest any other techniques lest you take them and turn them 4rm cheeky to cheesy lol. I personally can't use a pick up line except it's my own creation and even wiv that I have to do some mad googling before I take it out for a field test!

My life has turned into a Live Blog draft update, everyday I'm looking for stuff to write about, I get on the bus and I want the woman wiv the baby to smack the driver for not letting her on so I can type a quick draft on my phone and post it later, I walk into a store and I want to see expired goods on the shelf so I can yap about it on my blog, I come home and I want the house to be on fire so I can update my blog before the laptop burns to ashes lol, okay I don't really want my house to burn down but you get the picture...I SAID IT'S A JOKE JOO!....OYA GO AND TELL NA! lol . Seriously, I walk around wiv a virtual blog in my head, if I see, hear, feel anything I make a quick draft and post it later....I'm lovin this life pple! BTW I just wanted to post this before I continue the "Robby Scribbles and..." series, next episode: The Asian connection!


Miss Natural said...

Man you are crazy hilarious, freaking funny...I was about to fall asleep then I checked ur page and couldn't stop laughing...R.kelly and the eraser, Bush, Obama and the presidency, white people migrating to the moon lol...oh my dayz...u crack me up big time. LOL. the word swagga, the burning house...lol I hope Obama does well too though, for his sake, and that of America of course.that job is a hard one....waiting for ur next blog post.

Dee Brighton said...

o fokasibe! thats my song mehn! lmao seriously you crack me up. i was JUST thinking about michelle williams right before i came to this blog.. I saw this picture of her that made me go wow. as for murda mase.. he can go and sit down somewhere jare.. that one is just confused about his life. if he knew he still wanted to rap he should've just stayed in the 90's where he belonged.

& about all this "swag".. my dear its not only you.

Rene said...

u crack me up really.
i'm with you on guys with using cheesy pick up lines....i totally detest it, for goodness sakes i was reading a pack of cards made up of pick up lines sometime ago and they all seamed prety lame to me...who ever said originality wasn't the best?
about your life being a live blog update now, you are not alone...rehab...i have a lot of drafts on my laptop that i just can't bring myself to post...lol
avnt heard fokasibe yet....i'm not stale, i just don't want to, what's the use of liking something that would end up being random....lol...btw i never really like people using swag, swagger and stuff twas all crap to me...stil detest it
wait! i dint meant to write an epistle....oya lemme stop right now...did i already mention how much i love your blog....i think i did.
Okay now Rene stop *smacks herself*

Mz. Eniola said...

LMAOO!!! Dee datz my SOnG! :P btwn bush caused d wahala nw he cnt be syaing jack! LMAO! buh seriously doe..err tym i see obama nw..d guy iz tired i can tell lol! "swagger" itz a same err 1 saiz it nw..liek my frend sed. swagger shud be liek visas not every 1 should have a claim to 1.

OPTIMISTIC_alyzzz said...

just so u knaw here in naija 4kasibe is already being overused, but i guess where u are u can get away with it,
u are hilarious as ever, i wish u can keep writing every second, trust u to get me laughing first thing in d morning, nice one man.

juiceegal said...

I'm officially in love with u now.......lol
Dis boy u give me jokes,R kelly rily needs to make up his mind...lol at erasers.
My frnd does d same thing,she wld grind on all the boys in the club on saturday nite then come sunday she wld be screamin bout hw she cnt afford 2 miss church...her theory is that she has 2 thank God 4 givin her d strength 2 hv a gud time.
I hate cheesy pick up lines mehn...any guy that cmes to me nd strt yarnin balls wld get a mouthful 4rm me.
Somebody tld me the real meanin of fokasibe nd trust me it wsnt what i thought so im nt gonna be usin that word ever....lol

G-FUNC said...

like you actually posted this yesterday???
how I no come take see am na? rubbish!!!
lol @ pastor screaming g g g gunit
I really wish those ladies slap the bus conductors for not letting some poor guy get on the bus free and when the guy actually does,he turns out to be armed and thinks them ladies look like jennifer lopez.Gun in hand,jennifer in the room + a little perversion = you picture it

nice post man I couldn't stop laughing

"Your father must have been a baker"

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Miss N: Thanks dear, Wiv the way I'm going the next post will probably take a coupkle of hours lol...Gud luck again oooo!

@Dee: Mehn pple have killed the word swag o! nd 4rm wat Optimistic is sayin looks like I'm too late to save Fokasibe as well!

@Rene: thanks oh! Mehn d pick up lines are killing us oh! I saw a list a few days ago of chessy pick up lines, I nearly cried blood cos of the crappy lines lol...My blog loves you too.

@Mz.Eniola: Like I said the swagger issue is getting worse, it's like they manufactured fake ones in China nad everyone is buying the bootleg copy.

@Optimistic_alyzzz: Hey new girl in d class lol. I'm glad u find my blog worth readin' but we r talking serious business here no joke...if Obama messes white pple will be chasing us wiv cutlasses lol

@Juiceegal:That was one of the reason why I didn't bother wiv d song, then I googled the meaning and I was so relieved, now we r rockin d song day and night...O FOKASIBE! oh and I love you too lol

@G-FUNC: U dey try spoil me for my mama shey? u want my imagination to imagine the unimaginabel right? lol...thanks bro, I swear I be guy o but I can't stand brodas who use cheesy pick up lines, if you know it's cheesy then maybe you shud stick to sign language lol

Thanks for the commenst pple...love una pieces!

Dark Neo said...

Correct Guy! Do You Know that now the simple greeting "How far na?" is a pick up line. Yesterday I was driving in some strange area looking for the venue for a party and a chick was walking towards the car.. when she got closer I recognized her but I guess she could not see my face it was kinda dark. On realizing I knew this chick I greeted How far now? she immediately answered her phone (that did not ring) and doubled her pace...so as far as lines go just know that every month or so the pickup firewall gets harder to crack because of some dull boys..

lusciouscurves said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, I can't take it anymore!!! I have to stop reading for now, I'll be back another day abeg. I can't laugh anymore, LOL. You rock, sir.