a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Monday, 25 May 2009

Sir Scribbles in the building....

07:29 Posted by Sir Scribbles 10 comments
Hey hope you guyz didn't miss me oh! I was only gone for two posts lol, Mehn all this mushy mushy talk has got me feelin weird and outside myself, so wat's the solution? A trademark post 4rm the unprecedented Sir Scribbles II...

I swear this is the most annoying thing I've experienced in my life, it's one of those things that just tick u off even more cos you can't do anything about it! it's a typical shopping day, I'm standing in a queue at NEXT, patient as always, Ipod in my ear listening to music while staring at the the head of the queue, I've got like eight pple in front of me and the lines moving steadily, ppl are paying for stuff, cashier's collecting the money and giving receipts, NEXT is making millions...typical day! Then I step up to the counter, I drop my stuff, she scans and presses a few buttons, tells me how much I have to pay, I get out my wallet and give her the money (notice how I am cleverly hiding the item and it's amount lol), she takes the money and does the one thing that can wreck my day....she raises it to the light and then rubs it on a piece of papepr until it leaves a red trail on the paper....I swear I wanted to strangle her wiv my earphones...I just watched about ten pple pay for their stuff and she didn't go CSI on their cash, how come the tall Ibo boy gets the "usual suspect treatment". It's not the first time it's happen and wiv every recurring incident I get pissed off even more, I'm buying bread and they check, I'm buying a sandwich and they check, I'm buying a t-shirt and they check...is there like a big infrared poster on my fore head saying "MONEY COUNTERFEITER" sometimes it doesn't get to me but there was this one time a black girl actually did it to me, one young chick like dat at the counter at Argos researched my cash I swear, I felt betrayed lol...in my mind I said "Africa just shed a tear 4 you my dear"

I've got this friend who absolutely loves movies, problem is he doesn't know the way to one cinema, if you give this guy a remote control and tell him to find a movie channel he'll get lost...but he can like to buy pirated DVD ehn! This dude can start his own video club 4rm the amount of bootleg movies he has "BOOTLEGBUSTER". Do u know wat ticks me off the most? he complains about the quality, are u friggin kiddin' me? you spend £5 on a DVD which may cost twice as much in the Cinema or 3-5 months of waiting on a movie channel after the movie has been released. So u saw wolverine wivout the claws, u didn't know how Iron Man's first suit looked and the lighting in Underworld 3 actually made it look like it was filmed in the underworld...go to the friggin Cinema jo! Personally I can't stand cinema dubs and I'd rather wait for a high quality DVD or download lol...but complaining about bootleg DVD's quality is just being unreasonable...one day I'll rent a crappy movie like Dragonball Evolution, lock him in a room and make him watch it over...nd over...nd over again...in HD till he swears he'll never patronise the lil' Asian woman in the market!

A friend told me dis story and it made me laugh my head off for two reasons, one being that it was totally funny and the second being that it's absolutely ridiculous. She says a friend of hers was in a chemistry class and while the teacher wass teaching he was also walking around the class, suddenly he notices that there's a guy who's sitting a bit awkwardly in class so he walks over to the guy's desk, upon closer inspection he realises what the guy's actually doing which is entertaining himself in the class...the Dude was jerking off in class....in a friggin chemistry class. How in the world does someone beat-off in class, a chemistry class for that matter, was it the attractive test tubes on the table, or maybe it was the curvy shaped beakers that reminded him of a women's hips and thighs...but c'mon in class, wiv ur classmates, trust the teacher he didn't ignore it ooo! He snitch on the William like a trademark teacher...I heard that 4rm that day they started callin the dude "Willy W@nk*r" which I find is a very creative name lol

Weight and Size are two things on my "Never discuss wiv a chick" list, I've had my share of experiences wiv these sort of discussion and I can tell you that the part of scripture which says "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" is one of the truest things you'll ever acknowledge. The most memorable incident was in a classroom, I was talking to a couple of girls and one asked me if I like her ring, back then I was young, inexperienced and Naive, if she'd asked me that question now I wud have said "Ofcourse I love it, I haven't been able to take my eyes of it, plus it compliments your beautiful fingers" (I know, I'm awesome right?)...but no! in my most ignorant of moments I said "Mehn chick that thing is so big I can use it as a bangle"(I know, I USE TO be a dumbass). She just stares at me and walks away, I know I've done something wrong here and I presume it's cos I didn't like the ring, 2 days later I find out that I'm wrong, She tells me that the reasosn why she was annoyed wiv me was cos I called her fat...see me see trouble oh! How in the world dis she draw that conclusion, I swear I didn't understand it until after about 15 mins and it took me 2 weeks and a truck load of text messages to get her to forgive me...all through I just kept wondering how the female mind works, for her to infer that I called her fat 4rm a comment on her ring is something that baffles me, led me to conclude that some chicks are infact irrational and unreasonable as well as the establishment of my code of conduct that I never discuss weight or size wiv chicks...even if they tell you they don't mind forget it..it's a trap I swear!...Guyz ur answers shud always be "Nope u don't look fat in that" or "I love you just the way you are" or "No I don't think so, you look fabulous" or ultimately "Surgery? For wat? U look fantastic" anything apart 4rm these and you are on your own naked in a forest wiv the chick hunting ur ass wiv a 12 barrelled grenade laucher!

10 comments:

juiceegal said...

First!!!!!!!!!!!!!

juiceegal said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
juiceegal said...

Yayyyyyyyyy u are back....u were gone for 2 posts....lol
Eeeeeeeeeew that wanker guy is so gross
Its true that us girls dnt like to hear the truth sha...but that babe is extreme,shez very insecure cuz its only insecure pple that read stupid meanings to things like that.hisssssss
And lol at ur friend...pple like him act like its against their religion to go to the cinema..lol

naija shawty said...

willy wanker, what a brave f%%l. lmao. jerking off in a chem class. anyhoos, i tot the same when u gave the babe that comment w/out even reading further. females are just more sensitive to compliments than males(e.g. you) are.

Chi-Chi said...

Africa just shed a tear 4 you my dear"
LMAO...maybe you should confront any idiot that checks ur money the next time lol

o your ibo lol thought you were yoruba lol random thought hehe

so you would rather lie to a babe about her weight??

it's always good to say the truth lol
thought it hurts haha

Dark Neo said...

LOL O.Y.O in the forest naked....
Omo chi-chi 4get that thing when you are telling her she is not fat just think of some1 Really fat like yukozuna then u'll come to believe its true too. If she catches you in that forest she will make the truth hurt YOU!.

My World said...

Welcome back!
Thanks for following ma blog.

G-FUNC said...

...in HD man you bad oh

na so the thing do the guy reach
in a freaking chem class.
probably they were being tot some stuff about electrons and ish,and he got charged .*hope that sounds right*

about a girl saying you think she fat,bro you got off lightly.Imagine if she tot you were trying to make her return the ring,she was so lucky to have gotten the last one at the shop, so you could lay your hands on it.You don't wanna know.....trust me



DISCLAIMER:I might have been "high" while writing all this

OPTIMISTIC_alyzzz said...

love the randomness of the post,
cant believe those pple are RESEARCHING your money
i love that RESEARCHING!!!! hahaha

Gtay said...

dude dats like d craziest shit ever plus u ve always been dat dumb bangles