a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Friday, 1 May 2009

Revelations of Little Insanities part 3

03:44 Posted by Sir Scribbles 7 comments
So I've been afflicted wiv bloggers block along wiv an incessant flu...and it has nothin' to do wic swines lol. I haven't been able to complete a decent post since Scribblenation...u shud see how many drafts I've got dt never made it to the big blog lol. Due to the humongous amount of free time on my hands I've been getting involved in a host of things ranging 4rm vectorin' in Photoshop to working as an Assistant at a Night club. Anyway there's a reason why I started this post give me a minute to remember....YES! I remember now! It's about insanity lol, the first one is very weird and possibly the most irritating thing I've ever noticed in my life, have you ever noticed how pple who pick their nose always tend to survey the "residue" b4 disposing it under a seat or a wall? like it's an achievement or something when the residue is huge, slimy and gross. I noticed this wen I saw this dude at the train station doing exactly as above stated...pple like dat need a good smacking lol.

A few days back I noticed that I was mad as well, not the ranting and raving type just a subtle exhibition of lunacy...a friend of mine finally diagnosed me and to be honest I think she was right despite my 15min objection lol...she said I was a Narcissist and I kinda agree wiv her but nt completely, Okay so my Ties must match my cufflinks, my shoes must match my belt, my shirts have to be starched and wrinkle free, my sunglasses must be polished b4 I wear them lol...that doesn't make me a narcissist does it? I'm nt in love wiv myself God forbid!! I simply hate looking unpresentable...call me wat u like jo! I no send lol...that reminds me I need to buy a pair of brown trainers to go wiv my cargo shorts lol.

I was on the train on thursday and going through the London Metro, I'd just done the Sudoku on d back and I was skimming through the paper and noticed a lil' column where, as far as I'm concerned, desperate pple took desperate measures. It was kinda a hook-up shout-out thingy wiv stuff like "I saw u on d train and we shared a stare, call me" and "To the Guy wiv a PSP and black shorts last Tuesday, u can teach me to play anytime". I laughed as I was reading them but one really caught my attention and it read like this "To the guy in the black suit and pink tie on the District line yesterday, our feets touched and we shared a moment, fancy coffee sometime?" WTH...they shared a moment?...cos their feet touched?...WTHx10! How d hell do u share a moment 4rm touching feet...infact d dude was wearing a suit so he was obviously nt barefoot and I doubt miss Lunacy wasn't barefoot on d train as well...how do u share a moment 4rm shoes touching 4 crying out loud. Pple's feet brush against mine all d time, do i share a moment wiv them? Yes! A moment wen I want to smack them upside the head especially wen they don't apologise...it's stuff like this that makes pple take Love lightly..."our feets touched, we shared a moment"...give me a break jo! U must be mad!

Finally, do u really realise how crazy chicks are? The things is their madness is wat makes some of them look sexy..but not all of them. Where's my evidence?... here they are:
Fake Eyelashes
Fake Eyebrows
Fake Eyes courtesy of contacts
Fake hair courtesy of attachments and wigs
Fake nails
Fake boobs courtesy of silicon and the wonder bra
Fake booty courtesy of high heels and applebottom jeans lol
...the list is endless
I've typed fake so many times the word is starting to look and sound weird, ofcourse i'm nt complaining, there's nothin' more appealing than a seamless implementation of all these, but in situations when things go wrong my eyes have been close to bleeding and the culprits close to looking like lunatics...I guess you can say I'm a fan of natural beauty but to be more accurate I'd say I'm a fan of beauty PERIOD!!! I have therefore developed a three-pronged solution for this problem...Look in the mirror, seek a Friend's opinion, Seek the opinion of a stranger lol...with these u r sure to look good without overdoing it and looking like a mad person.

7 comments:

Miss Natural said...

It's weird how there are so many things to comment on what you write and how much we think alike. I was wondering where you were, thank God you're back and pele about your flu eya. Hope you're much better now.

Never really noticed about the picking your nose thingie, thank God because that would be a turn off. One thing I really notice is people's teeth...I can't stand bad/rotten teeth. That is yucky! Plus I agree that natural beauty is the way forward, I rarely use makeup (my mum's influence and I just cant be bothered) I mean I love myself the way I am and all that ish. I was watching this show on BBC where people 'made over are made under'. These pple were freaks, too much makeup- a white guy using the darkest foundation all over just to be black. YUCK!!!

Lastly, I really like the way you write, 'seamless implementation'. You have a way with words. Glad to have you back sha!!

Miss Natural said...

Oh yeah, Im guilty of the contacts...my choice colour is green and following all your steps on how to be sure, I am sure...tried and tested :)

My World said...

What a post!
I gues the whole idea of fakenes was generated in d interest of guys that always want more/narcissist.
Lol@ toes touching moment...

G-FUNC said...

Moments can be shared anyhow!
by crossing each others path on facebook:on commenting on the same picture and having similar thought on a picture that obviously looks very nice,and you see a comment that was there that said the picture was nice in the exact same words that were going through your mind and voila that's a moment that was shared wthout the other person being aware of it.

Also in the market,you argue witht a woman selling vegetables over the price she tells you 300 naira,you say 40 ,naira,you each say any price you like uintil you both argree on 100 bucks and there you have a shared moment,

You get into a bus...........

the list is endless

nice write up man,ciao!

juiceegal said...

LOL........u dis guy,u have a way with words.....i thot i wsnt gonna read al dat till i found myself at the end...
Dat section in the london paper cracks me up everytym....lol
But i wnt lie,one time like dat on the tube,dis sexy ass brother was starin at me but he dint say a word 2 me, i found myself readin dat section in the london paper 4 a week hopin he wld write bout me...lol.

Ms. 'dufa said...

I liked "Look in the mirror, seek the opinion of a friend and seek the opinion of a stranger"...

lusciouscurves said...

ROFL! My ribs can't take much more of your humour o. :D Nice one, sir.