a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Saturday, 23 May 2009

Robby wivout Scibbles....

11:54 Posted by Sir Scribbles 14 comments
Now I know what you've come to expect in a typical post from "Sir Scribbles" but I'm hoping this will turn out a bit different, I want to change the mood a little even if it's for a just this post, I want you to delve deeper into me. I want to tell you about myself wivout the funny phrases and comical methapors...this isn't something I planned but just felt I shud do so I'd be bare myslef for you all even though I might not truly strip myslef completely...let me begin....

My ex said something to me while we were still together and it's stuck wiv me for a very long time and I'm guesing since I still remember it now it'll probably stick wiv me even longer, we'd been together unofficially for about 2yrs and one day she just said "Robert, you are not being open wiv me, I've seen the way you are in a room filled wiv pple, you're the funny guy who's everyone's friend and I've seen you in a room wiv just the two of us...I think somewhere in between those two pple I saw, when you are alone and left wiv only your thoughts as company, you are a totally different person, I think U have this facade which you use to cloak urself and stuff that bothers you...when will you drop it for me?" (She didn't say it so eloquently though...that's just me being awesome lol). I thought about it for a while, yes I kept a lot of things to myself, I didn't let a lot of personal feelings escape and I never actually share myself wiv pple, I realised that the way my mind aqnd the way I translated it into actions made pple comfortable around me, I never shared personal things and always kept my emotions bottled up, I was able to blend wiv any group of pple but I had principles that kept my feet planted firmly on the ground...it was cos of this observation 4rm my ex that I actually decided to change, I decided to open up even more but not leave a gaping hole where my wall use to be, it's normal to keep some things secret but it's even better to share your feelings wiv pple especially wen they can understand and relate to it. Why I am saying all this? it's cos I have aspirations, wants, needs and fears, I am Human even though I seem awesome lol, I speak 4rm my heart here and my head is just translating it to readable words...I have loved and felt love, I have hated and felt hate, I have fears and they seem to overshadow me but I have the will to strive and thrive, I have failed in things and learnt how to succeed, I have fallen many times , shed tears and screamed in pain only to get back up again and stagger onwards into a strut. I use to be somewhat proud and I will not lie, I was smart, comfortable and irresponsible but I realised I cud not claim to be smart and still be riddle wiv bouts of irresponsiblity and pride, I learnt this cos I was humbled, I was shown the error of my ways and I had to get with the program of lose what I called an existence in the blink of an eye.
I use to be scared of things as well, I'm scared of failing, of being average, of being used cos I love pple to much and of being taken for granted cos I commit myself heartedly. I'm scared of living on the border and nt taking my chances at personal evolution...but that was in the past, I am still scared as any human wud be but I realised that fear is what stops pple 4rm ever trying and achieving anything, fear keeps you locked up when the keys are in your hands, fear tells you to sit down when everyone else is standing...I use to be afraid of a lot of things but now the fear fuels me. I am not perfect, far 4rm it, I'd like to say I have frequent epiphanies and during this moments I attain more insight into who I am, who I need to be and what I am here for...I am here to Love, Serve, Grow and Gain!

I seriously don't know what made me post this and I'm guessing it won't be a frequent,thing cos it's a side of me that never really shows itself. I just felt I shud share myself wiv you, I felt like y'all had only seen one side of me and needed to see this as well....that's it really!


14 comments:

OPTIMISTIC_alyzzz said...

ha firstttt!!!!!
stalking pays......

OPTIMISTIC_alyzzz said...

REALLY DEEP

guess this is a side of u dat we didnt expect,
but its a normal side we all have fears and we are all scared of a particular thing, what keeps us going is God and those special people in our lives that make our day worthwhile......

Dee Brighton said...

aww great post.. i really like this side of youu

Miss Natural said...

awwwwwww lmao...but seriously this is a deep side, thank God for your ex oh. I think that's a problem we all have, failing and of showing our trueselves for different reasons that is. Keep ur chin up, you're kinda awesome lol

juiceegal said...

Hmmmmmmm is this really u???
Ok its u just confirming....This is real deep,but its gud dere is another side 2 u apart 4rm d funny part.Ur ex did the best thing by tellin u...derez nothing wrong with being vulnerable and there is also nothing wrong with bein a bit guarded,balance is the key here.
As for fear,we all have fears,iv got mine too but iv learnt 2 not allow my fears overcome me,i try to fight fear and so far its working.This really made me think.
I like people that know how to get up wen they fall,thanx 4 sharin dis part of u with us...i can sense u had a hardt ime doing this cuz its something u r not used to doing.

chayoma said...

i feel like i don't trust people enuf to share my feelings with them. i dunno why, its complicated. guess i am scared of coming up as vulnerable.
This side of you is inspiring....

Rene said...

nothing to laugh about, just some deep word...i'm trying to picture your face while you were writing this...
i'm like that too....alot...i guess we probably have to open up so we arent alone in a room full of people

G-FUNC said...

I guess everyone has this side "fear"
we're just left to discover how to overcome it
base our actions on such fancy quotes like "if you don't try you can never know"
ok it'ss not fancy bnut you get the idea

and yeah,hey stranger!where did you put Sir scribbles?

Sir Scribbles II said...

lol..You guyz shudn't get use to this ooo! I just felt like saying something different this time...like I'd will bury Sir Scribbles just like dat lol. Thanks for ur comments cos I really appreciate them...much love 4rm me to Optimistic_alyzz, Dee, Miss N, Juiceegal, Chayoma, Rene And G-FUNC..

Dark Neo said...

Ha! ROTFLMFAO!
Okay that is really touching! As opposed to your cruel nerve pricking vein cutting humor. I guess it will be too much to ask sribbles to let Robby out to play more often!

naija shawty said...

u got the ego thing going. ok\, u know how to boost it and i find that funny

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Neo: Mad man! U know I can neva trust trust ur comments...I knwo u too well to trust ur stanky ass lol...I believe there's a post here wiv ur name on it if u knwo wat I mean lol

@naija shawty: So u've found the glasses lol..nice one oh! thanks for the compliment..at least I think it's one lol

Gtay said...

sir blabs-a-lot this is some eye tearing, heart rending stuff alone wiv my thots facade bull u better stop trying to impress people b4 i blow u outta d water.My Man just fooling

lusciouscurves said...

Deep, sir, very deep. I'm the same way. Thank you for sharing. Respect.