a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Tuesday, 16 June 2009

Scribblenation: Beautifully Random...

17:23 Posted by Sir Scribbles 22 comments
Okay before I start I will just like to say that the Blog idea I have isn't all that oooo! It's just me having fun and not a paper on solving the global economic crisis! In the mean time Scribblenation = Random thoughts and memories....

The year is 1997, my lil bro is still in primary school, he comes home one one day crying and as expected we are all worried. He tells us that during break time in skool, he found out a kid in his class had nicked his chocolate bar from his lunch box, he knew who did it and when accused her she denied it and they got into a row in the class. The head teacher came to seprate them, called my brother a thief and gave the chocolate bar to the girl. My mum's reaction can only be described as Ape Shit! She was absolutely Livid I tell you but by the end of the day she ha calmed down and told my brother to forget about it cos shit happens (not in those exact words lol) The next day I'm in class and someone runs across the hall to the class door and announces that something is going down at Nursery 2B and Miss Elizabeth is in a deep shit. We all run to Nursery 2B, it doesn't register yet that Nursery 2B is my lil bros class yet o! We're at the corridor leading to the class and there's a bunch of pple gathered at the door, I manage to squeeze my way thru to get a glimpse of the action and what do I see...My mumsy is verbally assaulting Miss Elizabeth nd right behind her is my Lil' bro smilling like an evil genius...Miss Elizabeth has got some cohones on her ehn, she was even talking back, In my mind I was like "Shut up, please shut up, stop talking o! u no go hear word..." Then she said my bro was a lying and the shit hit the fan as well as Miss Elizabeth's hearing cos my mum arranged her wiv her classic "Move like a butterfly sting like Amadioha!!! No one ever messed wiv us in skool again...even bullies reconsider sef! She officially made it kool for me to sasy "if you touch me I will tell my mummy"

I hate automatic doors, friggin hate automatic doors, I hate them cos I'm never comfortable approaching one. "is it working?", "what if it's not working?" "Make I no go waka hit glass o!" Wat's wrong wiv a normal door jo! I've actually walked into one b4...nd it wasn't working, nd pple saw me hit the glass...so I'm not paranoid jo!

How come wen pple are on the phone and they're spelling stuff they say "A as in Apple, C as in chair, H as in happy..." but wen I try using that technique my whole primary skool education vanishes, I say "A like...........", As in it's like I go blank...One day I actally said "N like in Know" can you believe that, I'm sure the chick thot I was a retard. Some pple even try and be all cool wv it and say "C like in Capricorn, L like in Lobster, D like in Delta, A like in Albatross ..." bloddy show offs, go join Arm na..dey here dey form "I can talk ajmes Bond on d phone"

I was walking on the street a few days back and I happened to be behind an old woman wiv a trolley and walking stick. Someone's phone rang, the ringtone was Flo Rida's "Right Round"...the old woman brought out her phone and answered, my imagination kicked in, old woman going down low on other 70 year olds in d olds folks home using a drip stand as a pole nd geezers throwing tablets of aspirin instead of $1 bills, she'd probably be called sweet tooth coz she's got just one...why was imagining a 60 yr old pole exotic dancer please? lol

Apparently an old flame still burns brightly...bright enuf to rekindle the fire... ;-)

It's like I commited a crime yesterday oh! Abeg make una help me see problem. Guyz abeg learn 4rm my mistake cos e be like sey I kill pesin yesterday. It was a simple innocent question that turned very ugly very fast...I asked if pregagnancy was that painful and officially became public enemy number one at in my house! My Mum who's had three, My Aunt who's had two and My Sis who's had none all ganged up to answer this singular question wiv a semi violent tirade...I think my aunt wanted to even get physicall seeing as she was the latest child bearer in the room. So I've added pregancy pains to my list of "Things never to discuss wiv chicks" in addition to weight, size and age.

Sir Scribbles II will be celebrating half a century of blogging in his next post and the golden jubilee will be marked by the launch of....
"Robby Scribbles' Blog da Blogger"
...I hope u guyz like it sha...cos una go dey involved somehow lol

22 comments:

CultureCynic said...

about time!!!!


i have powers she???

CultureCynic said...

hhahahahahaha ur momsy is a riot....that was my grandma gon gon...my mum was on a "turn the other cheeck" tip , grandma major issued warnings, threatened bodily harm and slapped a few folks around.....ahahahahhahahahahaahahahahaaahaaha seee your bro creating havoc, u guys have dragged that woman to many battles i can telll

CultureCynic said...

u r a weirdo Robertford!!!! lol at u an automatic doors...i heard from one episode of Family Guy like that that automatic doors will open for attractive people if they stood there long enuff....next time instead of wondering whether shit will work, just stand there...touch nothing, say nothing, somebody else will now come and volunteer to test it out for you!!!!! LMAOoooo




u cocroach head why would u even ask that question if pregnancy is hard.....u want to die and be reborn abi!!!! even girls who haven't reached puberty know that shit hurts.....even Aunti Comfort wey dey 52yrs old without any pickins KNOW that shit hurts...oh Robby, u weird weirdo.....childbirth is the worst kind of pain, something that your Johnson will Nver never experience...so next time u hear two women talking about cramps or childbirth go lock yourself in the toilet and dont come out till you hear "CLEAR"""

CultureCynic said...

and lol at the old woman with the hip ringtone..get it ? hip...i sed hip o, she had a walking cane shey, so her "hip" is bad...get it get it??? o never mind.....


elders crack me up sometimes when they suprise u with their hipness...o shit i said hip again....i think they want to stay young and keep up with us non elders....cool points goes out to the lady with the walker and cheers to the old geezer who will pop viagra to pop that hip back into place.....lol...



ok ok...am going now!!!

CultureCynic said...

o by the way FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! in your face in your face in your face!!!!!!

yinkuslolo said...

oh well

chayoma said...

what does that make me...third!
how can u be thinking of a 60 yr old exotic dancer, biko...
and how can u not know that pregnancy is a pain in the butt

LWKM

yinkuslolo said...

ur post is so random abeg. so, i cant even comment straight. i am sure, my mumcee will say that do the same and dont try ask is being preggie is painful or not. not cool scribs.

ok, happy bday in advance sha

naija shawty said...

u c, i dot like spelling my longass name with that A as in a**hole and B as in Boob. oh,i even blogged abt it sef

Rene said...

why would you treat me like this? i'm meant to be getting insider info joh! i would soon vex for you
1 hour and i'm like the.....

Rene said...

una mehn, your momsy is funny oh! I remember my mum sparking because of me in school and no one wanted to mess with me in fact they even wanted to be in my good grace cuz if i tell momsy she could drop somethings for them.

Rene said...

i kinda hate automatic doors too and also I guess right about your blog idea.
i hate all those a asin whatever, i would rather send it as a text message.
...old woman going down low on other 70 year olds in d olds folks home using a drip stand as a pole nd geezers throwing tablets of aspirin instead of $1 bills....lol
why would you even ask about pregnancy in the first place?
hope i would get an insider's info for the next post?

BSNC said...

Agbaya see your mouth like if you touch me i will tell mummy..lol. ohh you were younger then, okay i don shut up already, no need to tell me..lol


buhahahaha N for know, chai and na una go say i dey carry first for school that time o.

congrats on your golden jubilee me wan chop cake oo.

nameless said...

i love ur mum! and lol at the " n for know bit" :p
x

P'sy-A-wana said...

@CC na only u wan comment shuo leave space for the rest of us lol

scribs dat ur bruv na devil, see as him set d woman up, e fit be say d teacher don dey fu@# wiv dem 4 class, so dem just treat am, no be say choc miss.

i dey bam wiv those doors wey dey slide, na escalators dey freak me out i go just dey dizzy lol...u know dat chic wey dey scream 4 MK na my musy b dat damn if she shout 4 u (shudders) lol

BBB said...

HAPPY 50T POST IN ADVANCE..HOW DARE U ASK IF PREGNANCY IS PAINFUL.. MEN U GUYS DISRESPECT US OH.. DO U WANT TO TRY IT..
u walked into an automatic door ehn.. bush boy..
hahah
loved the randomness as usual

juiceegal said...

CC we would fight o.....lol
I hope i get to read ur next post b4 i go 2 Nig cz i dnt think i'm gonna be bloggin much 4rm dere.*sob sob* i'm gonna miss u 4 3 months,no flirtin behind my back and make sure u dnt cheat on me....lol
Your mum is a correct woman jo,hw can u call hers on a thief and she'l be lookin at u..lol
60 yr old exotic dancer...dats wt ur imaginin abi..hmmmm is all i can say.

Naija bad boi.... said...

hmmn...dont even know where to start from...too random ..geez...but sha...i fink my mum and urs shuld get togeda and exchange notes...she can shout!! even now sef...
u walked into an auto door...guy guy...better go and get goggles..oops glasses....
and wat d **** pushed u to ask such a question? are u prepping for a transexual operation? let us know now oo...

Adaeze said...

hahahaha
ur blog cracks me up u r too funny...that story about ur mom going ape shit? lol
and never assume that an automatic door is working, that is the lesson here. how can u just walk on it? lol u need to walk a bit slowly and make sure it opens up before u run inside. that way u'll end up not hating them anymore.

I laughed when I read ur problem about spelling things on the phone. I have teh same problem. Whenever I'm supposed to do it, I forget everything. And I have to do it all the time cuz my job involves a lot of phone talking..

I dont think u did anything wrong asking about pregnancy..after all how u guys going to learn :-P but never, ever insinuate that it's not really that painful or whatever that'll make any woman go ape shit on u again and u don't deserve that innocent lil u, lol.

Miss Natural said...

You are crazy!!!!!! lol dont mess with your mum oh. so she slapped the teacher hahahahahahha. i'm sure the teacher would have seen stars lol. so funny. you officially made it cool to say I'll tell my mama on u hahahaha. then you come up with the pole dancing OAP...that's hilarious, drips as poles and aspirin as dollars. ur mind is something else lol.

Tay-mee said...

One day I'll be first..one day one day!!

Ps CC its sad that you had to expalin your joke oh..kai

Youe mummy is a fighter mehn, ahh just like my mum noone gets away with anything..lol. "My mum's reaction can only be described as Ape Shit!= classic quote..haha

And you're a bushhh boy for the automatic door thing..Lord..scribbles oh its ur blog that made me get lost this morning..hiss

CultureCynic said...

(no LOL)..side eye directed at joker Tay-Mee with stern warning "onye akpala nwa agu aka n odu..." ( u will need a proper translation to fully understand the implied insult here) Good luck finding an adequate, non ajebo igbo speaker to interpret.....call CC sad again, ishi opioro like you!!!