a week in my mind and you won't want to go home...

Monday, 8 June 2009

Did you know...

06:29 Posted by Sir Scribbles 18 comments
My mum came over for a few weeks on business, A few minutes ago she asked me a very seriously important dire life threatening question..."My friend was telling me about something a few days back, wat is dis face...faceboy abi facebook??" I froze, holy crap is she asking me about facebook? Oh Bloody hell!!! dis woman is more connected that satellite TV, I few months back a friend asked me if I was ever going to quit facebook and I said I would quit FB the day my parents sent me a friend request....I think it's time for me to start packing my bags lol. I was still silent and she asked me again, "What is Facebook?" Should I lie, coz I know my mum will want to join if I tell her wat FB was, or shud I just tell the truth cos lying to her doesn't always work out the way I plan it to, I decide to give a mid-point answer. "Well it's a website where pple just chat and talk to each other especially if they haven't seen each other for a while", "are you registered on it?" she asked, "ME? I am but not fully, I don't go there much just a quick pop in and I'm out" (That's going into my top 10 lies). "Okay oh, I've just been hearing it everywhere nad was curious...wat pple are doing wiv computers now is just beyond me". She better not carry out any more enquiries cos if I venture see a facebook request from her, or my dad..or two of them collaborating on one profile...dats the end of my social netwroking career!

One night I was browsing through Job agency websites looking for part-time work, I had filled about 5 forms and I was totally exhausted and sleepy, Then I ran into this job vacancy and I felt I was just perfect for the job, the instructions said applicants shud send an email to the organisation and they listed the email address. In my worn-out state I still sent the emaill that night and slept feeling very optimistic about my chances. A week passed and I hadn't heard from them cos they said they'd be in contact through email. I was feeling very worried and I decided to review the email I sent them...this is what I wrote word for word, verbatim!!!!

"Hi there,
My name issss Robby Scribbles and Ia'm enqurin abuuut d vacancy n your organiassssation as adertissedddd fffff on the Job agency website../// I am qualified for this job and consider myselfd as worthy candidate for considerationPlease find attahced my CV an dover letter which detail my qualifciations nd skiills elaborately. Loking forwad 2 hearing from nd working with you soon. ]]Thank you
#Robby Scribbles"

I didn't know whether to laugh or just slap myself in the face, na wetin sleep dey cos be dis? N owonder I never hear 4rm dem since..they think I'm a retard...dis looks like a cryptic message from a Muppet to a Tellytubby. I didn't know wheteher to send another email or just pray that whoever read is doen't have agood command of english language, I read this message like 10 times and still cudn't believe I wrote it...note to self: Never apply for a job when sleepy!

I've always wondered how pple who get high feel, not like a practicalising curiosity, more like a curiousity curiosity lol. pple who smoke weed always fancsinate me so imagine how I felt wen I got the chance to obeserve one in action. A friend of mine called me and begged me to come to his room ASAP. AS I entered the room I knew something was wrong he was just laying on the floor pointing at the ceiling, I came close to him ande his eyes were reeedd!!!

"Robby abeg you gatz help me, I suppose reach Library sign one class paper and I need pesin wey go help me cos as you can see I am not alright"

"Spraykus U don dey mad, so U don smoke that thing again u maga! Shey I don dey warn u make u stop dis thing...Omo I no know if I fi' go library now ooo!!"

"Guy dis one no be request, if u no help me and staff member catch me 4 road like dis na house i dey go straight...Guy if to say I fi go by myself I no 4 call you but right now I no fi' vouch 4 myself sey I go reach library come back wivout incident"

"Why be sey na me you call guy, of all the friends wey u get 4 dis skool u had to ask me to do this, U know whether I dey do something important, wat if I no show sef wetin 4 happen, u wud have just be sitting here pointing at the ceiling shey?"

"Guy I call u cos u be my guy and I sure sey u go lead me in the right path" he asnwered wiv a lil' snigger "Guy u go like help ur guy please, If I no sign that thing my own don be 4 dis skool lol)

"OOOOO I no like dis thing o! Oya stand up make we dey go jo! But I swear if u misbehave 4 road, grab woman nyash or spit ontop pesin I go leave u run!!

We make it to the library wivout incident and then we find out that there's a seminar being held and we have to wait for about 30mins beforre he can go in and sign wateva it is he wants to sign! Oga starts to philosophize on me oh! A man steps off the podium and another speaker replaces him...Spraykus turns to me and says "You know dats the way life is, one pesin has to step down b4 another pesin steps up"...I almost explode wiv laughter, I hold myself seriously cos Oga don dey kolo 4 my front. The Seminar concludes and he signs the stuff. Then we head back to the Hostel, as we're walking I'm gisting wiv my guy and he's laughing ridiculously, anything I say makes him burst into laughter, even wen I just ask a question he starts to laugh loudly! By the time we get to the Hostel Oga is gone, his just silent now wiv half open eyes. I decide to chill in his room and then we are watching a movie on his laptop, the film starts to skip and freeze and I ask him wat's wrong wiv his laptop...LMAO...

"Guy na the breeze wey dey blow outside dey enter the lappy make am hook!" I'm literally rolling on the floor laughing my ass off!!! I told him I'd be telling this story for years to come and it's been two years and I'm still kicking lol

You see the way this life is...my hommie, the guy I introduced blogging to is biting the hand that fed him lol. Apparently P'sy-A-wana , my former friend lol, has threatened to write an exposé on Sir Scribbles...I go kill pesin o! I don't take kindly to threats oooo! lol Oga if you write anything wey fall my hand u'd better start sleeping wiv ur eyes open!


juiceegal said...


naija shawty said...

let P'sy go ahead

juiceegal said...

Shebi ur mum is still askin about facebook?? My own mum is already on facebook,when she sent me a frnd request i wanted to faint..i had to check my profile picture to see if it was appropraite(luckily 4 me it was).I kept her on hold for like 2 weeks while i disinfected my facebook page,see untaggin ehn..lol
But she hardly goes on there,she joined cuz of me,but shez cool and now i just do my thing and wen she sees my party or clubbin pictures all she says is "you're enjoyin o..sha read ur books",i guess if it was my dad it wld be another story.
Lol at the email u sent...i'm sure they just filed into under spam.....next time dnt do things wen ur half asleep.

Anonymous said...

lol...my mum can never comeon fb...upon all the school the woman go and all the teaching her and electronics no dey pass the same road...so im def safe!
lol at ur friend,na wa oh!

naija shawty said...

well, scribbles u've passed the comic test for the first. i giggled when i read ur email. they must think u were drunk or something

UnderCover07 said...

Scribbs scribbs scribbs! Na hw many times I call u?..lol

See as I dey laff lyk who smoke laffin' gas...momsie is lukn @ me lyk "wat is wrong with dis girl?"

Dude hw u gonna send such an email for a job applicatn? Unemployment never hook u reach...lol

Mehnnn ur friend na "arrow" (ask a Uniben student the meaning...lol) Guy say na breeze dey mke laptop freeze...dats just classic.

U made my day...correct guy!lol

Anonymous said...

lmao..My parents are very much aware of facebook, but the day they join and add me..its not hard. Ignore button it is.

OMG I refuse to believe you actually sent that to apply for a job..na which kain sleep be that??ahn ahn

Lol @ "You know dats the way life is, one pesin has to step down b4 another pesin steps up". That is rubbish talking of the highest order and it still makes sense..Props to him.lol

sweetness said...

i am so seriously waiting 4 that expose on sir scribbles
yeaaah ur moms connected!
facebook huh lol
hmm dat letter was smthn else i cant shout
tttthank you.haha

Adaeze said...

it doesnt seem like u have to worry too much about FB ur mom dont seem to nosy. what the heck r u doing there that is so secret anywayz? lol

haha I can totally relate to ur friend on weed. I remember my hubbys ex friend who was always high, always thought that the subway was a snake movin 'along de load (road)'

BBB said...

scribbles scribbles, i hope he does the expose on u it will be fun to read.....

mumsie on facebook ke, these our mothers i wonder what they are gettin to nowadays

if it was me i would have sent another email from maybe another emial address, sorry sha next time sleep instead of emailing.

take care

P'sy-A-wana said...

scribs lets give the fans wat they want blood guts and a juicy story if na tomb raider u dey play wen u wan crash u go play am and nothing go do u o!!!! mscheeeew.so evry 1 who wants d skinny on scribs just chill its a work in progress wiv quotes 4rm dark neo sam and d whole baby clan

Lady X said...

I've always said I would like to try weed just once to see what would happen LOL!
Hmm...the day my mom should join FB is the day I'm leaving as well!

Chi-Chi said...

which kind sleep be that??
you would have just chilled, kia lol

Sir Scribbles II said...

@Naija shawty:AS u like amebo reach why won't u want him to go ahead! lol

@juiceegal: I think if they ever send me a request I'll jusy create another profile and add them 4rm there...

@leggy: Spraykus doesn't joke wiv his weed and he's alwasy asking me to chaperone him, this was just one of many ocassions

@Undercover07: ur mumsy is even there sef...u get liver sha, anytime she asks me wat i'm doin on my computer i use IT jargon to confuse her lol...my pleasure lol

@Tay-mee: Mehn I refuse to believe it too but it's sitting in my mailbox's sent folder right now. It actualy makes sense in a nweird kinda way especially after u consider the source

@sweetness:all you amebo ehn, me sef dey wait..if oga writes anything dats more than his power he will have a war on our hands lol

@BBB: After ur mama catch u dey blog u now want everyone to be snitched on shey..no worries..P'sy doesn't even have any juicy gist sef

@Adaeze: snake moving along the road lol...OMG dats just classic, these high men are real philosophers

@Lady X: D day u do try it please blog under the influence so we can see it effects lol

@Chichi: Mehn u can't fit to understand the way that sleep was doing me but unemployement was even more painful lol

@Gtay: I saved you for last, I dey warn u oh! No go fuck up o lol...I go report you to Baby headquarters

Lady Koko said...

BUHAHAHHAHA!!!!!!!! loooool!!!! MY FATHER TOLD ME TO TRY WEED.....but only once he said!

Lady Koko said...

OH I ALMOST FORGOT TO SAY.....a couple of years ago my DAD ASKED THE SAME QUESTION ABOUT FB!!!! i told him..then he insisted i open an account for him..I OBVIOUSLY REFUSED!...he got my big bro to do it for him,...and even had the nerve to add me.....I DECLINED HE'S REQUEST...CHANGED MY NAME....AND told him he could keep trying to add me but i was NEVER ACCEPTING.....my bestfriend tells me he now has 13 FRIENDS!!!! loooooooooooooooooooool,

Dark Neo said...

Lookachyoo!!! Ahey I don dey warn you about your typing English. In just a few months you are already worse than you were. My guys wan start dey sly each oda ba?? You know sey I dey ready to stab some backs I stayed 3wks in camp with Backstabbing and as I dey now I go jus dey stab-stab every! But seriously G-Tay no fcuk up bcos You go just put the baby clan for spotlight and I no want....maybe we should start a group...

Miss Natural said...

that's jokes man!!!! so that is how ur friend behaves when he's high lmao...in life one person has to step up and another step down lol. Thank God for u sha lol. My parents know about facebook already but they are nt inclined to join...kai, i'd just leave if they did.